


Don't give up on me

by Golly4ever



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-02-24 12:05:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 54,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2580830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Golly4ever/pseuds/Golly4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gail's injury from a stabbing whist on duty leaves Gail a shadow of her old self . Will she ever be able to find herself and save her relationship with Holly ? Oh and I've added Sophie to the midst :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this little thought has been running around In my head so I thought I would write it down .. 
> 
> My grammar isn't the best but I hope you enjoy x

It had been 2 years since Gail and Holly finally adopted Sophie , at first life was perfect , The pair had gotten engaged , Gail became a detective and Holly got a promotion,  
Sophie has settled in quickly and their little family was born ..

That was until Gail got stabbed at work, the recovery was slow and Holly done her best to be there for her fiancée , tried to support her and love her back to health.  
Gail took it badly being unable to live her life normally , she became distant and cold towards Holly , Their love life was none existent , holly couldn't remember the last time Gail had kissed her ?

One evening Holly broke down telling Gail she missed her , she missed what they had , she no longer recognised the women stood in front of her , she felt like she was sharing a bed with a stranger . Gail has no words of reassurance for the doctor .

The only thing that hadn't changed was Gail's love and warmth toward Sophie .  
The child would spend hours just led in bed with Gail watching movies and playing child friendly video games while she recovered .  
Holly would catch glimpse of the " old Gail , when her and Sophie would be messing around , part of Holly smiled as she witnessed their bond , the other part of her felt hurt that Gail wasn't the Gail she use to be towards her ...

Once Gail was back on her feet and back to work things didn't change . She began working long hours and Holly almost forgot what she looked like ..

" we need some help " she suggested one night on the rare occasion Gail was home before bed time . " we need couples therapy maybe "?

Gail point blank refused stating she had enough of shrinks to last her a life time . She said she didn't want someone prying into their lives someone asking them questions about their sex life , wanting to get inside their heads , and that they would be fine .

Holly tried her best to make things better , even arranging for Sophie to stay over at her uncles the night so the couple could try reignite their flame , remind each other of how in love they were . She spent all day cooking Gail's favourite meal , setting the table with beautiful flowers and candles . Soft music playing in the background .  
Gail had said she would be home at 7pm .. 7 came and went , then 8 .. Then 9 , finally at 9.30 Gail strolled through the door smelling of alcohol ..  
When holly asked where she had been ? The blonde shrugged explaining how she had gone to the penny with her work colleagues for a couple of drinks .. Her " I don't care " attitude was the finally strew for Holly .. She couldn't take it anymore ..  
" Gail I can't do this anymore ?" She cried ..  
Gail looked around noticing the effort. Holly had gone too " well if you would of said you were doing all this I would have came home earlier " she shrugged .. not seeing she had done anything wrong .

" I'm not happy " Holly admitted "you can't be either"? She asked  
Gail sat silently giving Holly no reaction ..it was like she wasn't there, like Holly was speaking to herself .  
" do you want to be with me Gail "?

Gail again didn't answer she just drew imaginary circles on the table she was sat at .  
" Gail ? Holly said raising her voice " say something please ?"

Gail looked up in to the dark eyes she loved so much . Except they were full of sadness and pain , tears blurring the beautifulness of them .. Gail had no words , something had died inside her and in her eyes she was saving Holly .

Holly choked back her tears " I'm giving up on you "

Gail watched on as Holly packed an over night bag , she was going to stay at Steve and Traci's the night with Sophie leaving Gail alone in their big house . With only a bottle of bourbon to keep her company ..

" Its over , I can't do this anymore ! " I love you more then anything in this world Gail, but your not helping " you won't even try , you keep pushing me away and I'm done " Holly cried one afternoon while Sophie was at school . " I'm going to stay with Rachel for a few days then find an apartment "

What about Sophie "? Was the only thing Gail said  
" This is Sophie's home Gail! " she belongs here "but I'll be here every night to put her to bed , then when I get my own place we will have to make arrangements , she's my daughter too! , I want joint custody "  
Gail agreed not even considering fighting Holly , she was both their child and needed both of them .

Holly explained to Sophie that she had to leave promising to be there as much as she could , Sophie cried not understanding why one of her mommies was leaving her ?

Gail told Sophie that she was a jerk and that they needed to be apart for now . Promising that they both loved her very much and her life wouldn't change .  
if anything it would be better , she would have two homes which meant two bedrooms , double the gifts on birthdays and Christmas .

Hot left with a heavy heart . Finding it harder and harder to be around Gail everyday while she was visiting Sophie . She hadn't offered Holly no reason for the change in her or explained why she didn't fight for them .

2 months later Holly finally found the perfect 2 bed apartment ..

" Hey " she smiled as Sophie opened the door " you ready to see our new place "?  
Sophie nodded waving Holly in so she could get her stuff .  
" Holly?" how are you sweet heart ?" Elaine Peck asked  
" Getting there " Holly nodded taking a seat in the kitchen .  
"Tea"? Elaine asked  
Holly smiled " please " so ? Where's Gail "?

Elaine explained that Gail had a Coarse to go on out of the city so she offered to watch Sophie  
until Holly collected her  
Holly shook her head , this had been the 3rd time that Holly had collected Sophie and Gail wasn't there .  
" out of town ?" And she didn't think to tell me "? I mean what if something happened to Sophie "?  
Elaine gave her a sympathetic shrug  
" I don't know what's happening to her Holly " ? She doesn't talk , she only contacts me when she needs me to watch Soph "  
Holly is mad " it's not good enough Elaine " Gail needs to grow up "

Elaine and Holly spoke for a while more until Sophie was ready to leave . Saying goodbye to her grandma Sophie happily skipped to Holly's car

Holly wasn't going to let her anger towards Gail ruin the weekend she had planned with her daughter. Instead she would wait until her and Gail could have it out face to face .

" Baby girl ? " Gail squealed as she opened the door taking the child into her arms for a hug " I've missed you "  
Sophie wanted Holly to come inside so they both could show Gail her new clothes  
" we need to talk " Holly fumed folding her arms across her chest .

Gail told Sophie to head upstairs and put her new things in her closet  
" I already know your not happy ok ? Elaine has already beat you to it " Gail said rolling her eyes, putting the kettle on .  
" so you don't think I need to know when you're taking a trip out of town ?"

" Gail sighed " it was a spare of the moment thing ok Holly "?  
" bullshit Gail " Holly snapped " you just do what you always do " and that's what's best for Gail " she ranted " what if something had happened to Soph"?, to me ?,to you even"?  
" to me ?" Gail frowned " like what death by text book " she smirked  
" oh I don't know Gail ? Like maybe getting stabbed " Holly snapped "you do remember that bad shit happens to you right " ?  
Also " ? she continued " why ask your mom to have Soph when I am fully capable of taking the day off work "  
Gail cringed at the reminder if her stabbing , " look I didn't call you, and I should have , I'm sorry ok ? "

Holly shook her head" what exactly are you sorry for Gail "?  
Holly watched Gail as she stood unable to give her an answer " you can't even look at me "?

" all done " Sophie smiled as she hugged into Holly " mom I had the best weekend "  
Holly played with the little girls braids " I did too baby " she smiled leaning down to kiss her head " I have to go now "  
" no " Sophie sulked " I don't want you to go yet "  
" Moms probably got stuff to do Soph " Gail answered for the brunette .  
Holly's eyes burned through Gail who was looking directly at their daughter .  
" No baby I don't " nothing I have to do is more important then you ok ?" But I do have to go and get some paperwork out the way so my evenings are free for us to hang out " the doctor smiled stroking Sophie's beautiful dark skin.  
" I'll come get you Tuesdays after school ok?"  
"Actually Tuesdays not good " Gail interrupted .  
Holly was furious with her ex partner but didn't lose her cool infront of Sophie .  
Bending down so she was eye level with the child she smiled stroking her hair " I'll pick you up from school and we can go for dinner ok "? Maybe a movie "?  
Sophie smiled throwing her arms around the doctor " I love you mommy "  
" I love you too sweetheart , gimme kiss ?"  
Sophie kissed her mom and heading into the sitting room after asking Gail if she could watch TV ..  
Holly turned to Gail with tears in her eyes " don't you ever tell me I can't have my daughter "

Gail shook her head " she has the dentist "  
" then I will take her " Holly snapped " don't you think this is hard enough on me not being with her everyday"? "Without you telling me when it's convenient or not "? She added

Gail sighed " I'm not the one who walked out "  
Holly couldn't believe what she was hearing , checking Sophie was out of ear shot she approached Gail " are you fucking serious"? You think I wanted to leave"?

Gail sniffed looking at the floor  
Holly shook her head , she knew there was no point in trying to have it out with Gail,she was like a spoilt child when it came to anything she didn't like .  
"Yeah I left "Holly cried tears flowing down her cheeks" but you walked out on me way before I left this house "  
Gail swallowed hard she knew Holly was crying but didn't have the guys to look up and see it for herself .

Sophie " Holly called out wiping her eyes " I'll see you Tuesday baby "  
" and If it's no much trouble for you to text me before about her dentist appointment ? Or shell I call your mom ?"  
" Tuesday 4.15 " Gail muttered  
Holly huffed shaking her head waking out of the house practically running to her car ..each encounter with Gail got harder and harder , she was more closed off then ever before

Still as beautiful as she ever was ..but Holly was struggling to see any of the women she was madly in love with ..  
And why can't she look at me? Does she hate me that much ?  
Does she even have any feelings for me ?  
Holly wiped the steady flow of tears from her eyes starting up her car pulling off Gail's drive ..

Gail watched Holly pull away from the bedroom window , her own eyes stinging with tears .  
" you ok mom"? Sophie asked from behind her  
Gail nodded " yea baby .. I'm fine " she lied ...


	2. Chapter 2

Good morning doctor Stewart " professor Main smiled as he entered the lab

" morning " Holly mumbled without looking up from her paperwork, her argument with Gail still weighing heavy on her mind .

" I'd like to introduce you to your new intern " Main spoke " this is Lucy foster "

Holly looked up and smiled at the women stood next to the professor

" Hi " she said holding her hand out for the intern to take .

" it's good to meet you Doctor Stewart " Lucy grinned shaking Holly's hand " I've heard amazing things about your work and I have to say I'm excited to be here '

Holly blushed " thank you "

" so I'll leave Lucy in your capable hands and we will catch up later" Main nodded leaving the two women alone .

Holly wasn't the kind of person to be ungrateful but having someone around right now didn't fill her with joy , in fact after the argument she would happily be left alone .

" ok Lucy I have to get this case closed so why don't you have a wonder around the lab and get aquatinted with where everything is.

Lucy nodded " sure thank you Doctor Stewart "

" please call me Holly " the brunette smiled " we're not big on titles here"

Lucy seemed nice she was a little younger then Holly. Something about her reminded Holly of Chloe , she was small framed with red hair and a bright smile . To cheerful for Holly's mood , but never the less Holly was sure they would get on just fine ..

...

" mommy " Sophie sulked as she entered Gail's room rubbing her eyes " I don't feel good "

Gail stopped what she was doing placing her hand on her daughters head " mmmm your a little warm I guess " do you feel sick"?

Sophie nodded her head " my tummy hurts "

Gail wrapped the child in her arms "ok let's get you something to help with that ?" No school for you today huh?"

Gail have Sophie some medication to help with her tummy ache before laying her on the couch with a blanket and DVD.

She had important meetings at work and knew taking the day off to care for Sophie wasn't possible ..

" shit" she moaned to herself , knowing she was going to have to call Holly to ask if she could care for their daughter , and after last night Gail was sure she would receive a frosty reception..

" how you doing " Holly smiled as she watched Lucy taking in her surroundings.

Lucy nodded " yeah I'm getting there"

Holly's phone rang turning her head to look at the caller I'd seeing Gail's name " well actually it said " officer hot stuff " since the break up Gail hadn't actually called her , seeing the name made Holly sad she remembered how much they laughed when Gail added it to her contacts " I have to take this " she told Lucy .

" Hi "

G- hi it's me "

H-kinda gathered that " what's up ? Is Sophie ok"?

G- yeah she's fine " well no she's not fine I mean - well she's woke up this morning feeling unwell " she says she feels sick and her tummy aches

H - have you gave her some meds ?

G- Ofcoarse, but listen I have to go to work I have some really important stuff to take care of . So I was hoping ..

H- I can't Gail " holly interrupted knowing exactly what Gail was going to ask

H- I have a new intern that's started today " I can't just up and leave "

Gail sighed heavily " fine

H- oh no you don't get to do that "

G-do what ?

H- sulk like I'm not putting Sophie first " I know what that sigh was Gail.

G- it wasn't nothing " look forget it ok? I asked, your busy "

H - it's not that I'm busy Gail , I just can't get out of the lab right now "

G- I'll find someone , don't worry about it

Holly sighed heavily hating that she isn't able to be with her sick daughter

H- ok look , I need to be here for a few hours but I can come over to take care of her this afternoon

G- fine , I'll call my mom , I have to go"

Leaving it like that Gail hung up

Holly threw her phone down the on table " shit"

"Everything ok "? Lucy asked

Holly nodded pinching the bridge of her nose " yeah it's fine , it's just my daughter Sophie , she unwell "

Lucy pouted " Awww poor thing " hold old is she "?

" 8" Holly replied " she's 8 "

" nice age" Lucy smiled

" Lucy I'm really sorry to have to do this to you on your first day but " Holly sighed " I'm gonna have to leave this afternoon to be with her "

"don't worry about me Holly " I'll be fine , if you can just give me something to do ?"

" thanks Lucy " Holly smiled " I'm really sorry "

" hey it's fine" Lucy smiled " all kids want their mommies when they're sick right "?

Hmmm" Holly hummed

...

Thanks for doing this Chris " Gail said greeting her fellow officer at the door

" it's cool Gail , you know I love hanging out with soph" besides I didn't have much planned today " Chris smiled taking a seat next to Sophie .

" ok so I've left her meds on the kitchen counter , she's gonna need some around 11'o'clock , there's some soup in the fridge if she gets hungry , what else ? Gail stood pondering .

"Gail we'll be ok " Chris winked at Sophie " if we need anything we'll call you " go to work "

Gail nodded leaning over to kiss her daughter " ok I'm going! oh Holly said she'll take over this afternoon , what time I don't know "

Chris nodded " are you two still "...

Gail shook her head noticing Sophie's ears shoot up .

"Oh " Chris nodded letting the blonde know he got it .

" ok I'm out, love you Soph "

" love you mom" Sophie replied .

" just me and you kid " Chris nudged the grinning girl .

Gail slumped down at her desk placing her head on the table

" wasup peck "? Traci asked looking up from the computer .

" sophs sick " Gail groaned .

" oh shoot, what's wrong with her "? Traci asked concerned .

" she's got some kinda bug I think " Gail explained

" wait "? Traci frowned " so who's taking care of her "?

Gail sat back in her chair picking up a pen to fiddle with " well Holly's to busy to bother so I had to ask Diaz "

Traci shook her head " c'mon Gail I don't believe Holly's to busy for Sophie in the slightest " do you mean she's held up at work "?

Gail shrugged " same thing, look I just want to get this crap done with so I can get home , is Best in yet "?

Traci looked at her friend " have you two still not worked things out "?

Gail shrugged .

"Gail for god sakes , what's wrong with you "?

"Leave it trace " Gail warned

" this can't be good for Sophie ,Gail , have you even thought about that ? About what this is doing to her "?

" I said leave it " Gail snapped " I'm getting coffee " she mumbled as she left the room .

Traci jumped up grabbing some evidence that needed Holly's attention " just running somethings to the lad " she called out to Dov " tell Steve I won't be long "

...

"Uncle Chris " ? Sophie said sitting up off his lap " can I ask you something "?

"Sure Sophie " Chris smiled placing the Xbox control down .

"Will my moms ever stop loving me"?

Chris frowned placing his arm around the girl " No soph , there's no way on earth that could ever happen , your mommies love you very much, why would you think that"?

Sophie's lips turned downwards " because they've stopped loving each other "

Chris felt a lump form in his throat, pulling the sad little girl into his arms kissing her head " Soph adults are very complicated people , sometimes they fight and argue ,

" but mella's mum and dad argue all the time but they don't leave "? Sophie argued ...

Chris nodded " no and that's because sometimes adults work things out quickly , and sometimes they need a little time apart to work things out you know "?

Sophie shook her head " they won't work things out if they don't talk right "? My Moms don't talk , they just argue , they think I don't hear but I do ' they are both really sad , they pretend to be happy but they're lying , I know because I use to pretend when my mother died, I would say I'm ok but really I was sad"

Chris didn't really know what to say to the girl , she wanted him to tell her things will be ok and he couldn't ,

" Soph have you spoke to your moms about how you feel?"

Sophie shook her head " I don't want to trouble them, but Chris I do have a secret ,"

Chris raised his eyebrows " do you want to share it with me "?

Sophie nodded kneeling up to whisper in his ear " I'm not really sick"

Looking at him with her big brown eyes she began to cry " I wanted both my mommies to stay home and take care of me and then maybe they will love each other again ?"

Chris pulled Sophie close to him hugging her tightly " don't cry soph , it's gonna be alright , you're gonna be alright "

...

Holly rushed through every thing she had to do , she gave Lucy loads of jobs to keep her busy " ok Lucy I'm done for today " she smiled " I'll try and get back before you head home , but if not I'll see you on Monday "?

Monday " ? Lucy frowned

" yeah " Holly nodded packing her things away " I'm off this weekend , which is probably best considering Sophie's not well, "

Lucy nodded with a smile " I'll see you Monday then"

Holly headed out to take care of her daughter hoping that her next encounter with Gail wouldn't end up in a fight ..


	3. Chapter 3

Holly made it to Gail's to take over Sophie's care, when she arrived Sophie was asleep on the couch,

" Chris I really can't thank you enough for helping out with Soph" Holly smiled.

"Hey it's no trouble, I love hanging out with her, she's a really cool kid" Chris smiled removing Sophie's legs off of his as he stands up " but listen" he whispers " I need to tell you something can we?" He points to the kitchen,

Holly frowned following him into the kitchen closing the door behind her "is everything ok"? Chris shook his head crossing his arms "no it's not, Hols? Soph isn't sick, she lied"? "What"? Holly gasped. Chris nodded "she hoped that maybe if she was sick then you and.. Gail would .. Well that you would both be here to take care of her"? He explained,

Holly sat at the kitchen table with her hand on her head " I don't .., I just .. Chris takes a seat next to the worried doctor " Holly? Soph isn't coping with you not being here, she's so afraid that you and Gail are gonna stop loving her"

"What " Holly gasped again "why would she think that"? "Because she thinks if you and Gail fell out of love with each other... then you can stop loving her" Chris explained Holly began to cry "what have we done" she sobbed. "I wanna be here with her more then anything in this world .. I just can't .. With Gail being the way she is I ...

"Hey it's ok " Chris assured her with a hug " it's gonna be ok, Soph just needs her moms to tell her it's gonna be ok" Holly wiped her eyes" Gail and I .. We uh .. She swallowed .. We haven't been getting along " "I know" Chris nodded "Sophie hears you fighting" Holly shook her head " I feel like I'm losing a battle here, Gail and I can't be in the same room as each other without fighting at the moment"

"Well Gail's gonna have to man up for the sake of that little girl in there" Chris said kissing Holly on the head "I gotta go .. But uh .. You need anything ? Anything at all, call me ok"? Holly squeezed his arm placing a kiss on his cheek "thanks Chris "

.....

"No I'm not staying" Gail said "Sophie is unwell and I wanna get home to her, you have what you need and if you want to know anymore call me"

"Gail c'mon" Steve moaned "Holly will be with her by now ,one more hour won't hurt " "Hey you're lucky I even came in today at all, I said my kids sick I'm going home " "Fine, kiss my niece for me" Steve ordered, leaving Gail to clear away her desk and head home..

Sophie woke from her sleep calling out "Chris"? Chris? Are you there? " Hey baby girl" Holly smiled appearing from the kitchen. "Mommy" Sophie smiled jumping off the couch into the brunettes arms " I've missed you" Holly bent down kissing the child's head "I missed you to honey" Sophie snuggled into Holly's arms squeezing her tight , "you hungry"? Holly said stroking her daughters forehead "Sophie nodded returning to the couch

"where did Chris go"? "He had to go home sweetheart, but he had a great time hanging out with you today" Sophie grinned flicking the TV over "me too" Holly decided not to call Sophie out on what Chris had told her , thinking it would be better to discuss the issue with Gail first, "I'll get you something to eat ok"?

Gail pulled into the drive way taking a deep breath at the sight of Holly's car parked in what was her usual spot "here goes" she said to herself hoping that for once the pair maybe able to be in the same room without fighting.

As Gail entered the smell of Holly's cooking hits her, for the first time since the Doctor moved out if felt like home. "Hello"? She called out as how placed her jacket on the rack .

. "Hey mom"? Sophie called out from the couch.. "Something smells good" Gail smiled as she kissed the top of Sophie's head. "Yup moms cooking"

"Hi" Holly said cautiously at the kitchen door "I hope you don't mind but Soph was hungry " Gail smiled "mind? Of coarse not,it smells great" Holly bit her bottom lip nodding "well dinner won't be long"

Gail headed upstairs to get out of her work clothes and into something more comfortable when she returned Sophie was already sat at the table eating "i couldn't wait" she said with a mouthful of food .. "Soph" Gail and Holly moaned in unison at the child's poor table manners, "sorry" Sophie laughed wiping her mouth " mom I've miss you cooking dinner "

"Uh excuse me"? Gail pouted . "Sophie smiled "I like your food to but moms is better" Gail shrugged , she couldn't argue Holly was an amazing cook ... "Gail before you eat can we talk for a moment ? In private"? She asked Gail looked over at the women she loved with a frown "I guess"

"Won't be a minute Soph" Holly winked as she walked out of the kitchen into what is/was her study .. As she entered she was pleasantly surprised nothing had changed or been moved , the photo of the three of them still holding pride and place in front of the computer along with one of the two of them sharing a tender kiss ,

Gail shut the door behind them " look before you say anything I apologise about this morning, it's just this case we're working is important and if I coulda stayed home I would have .. I .. "Gail"? Holly shook her head "it's ok it's not about that, it's about Sophie "

Gail took a seat at the desk "ok"? Holly adjusted her glasses and folded her arms " she isn't sick" Gail was confused "what do you mean she isn't sick"? I saw her this morning she looked really poorly" Holly shook her head "she lied, she told Chris she was lying" "Why"? Gail wondered "I mean why would she do that? She loves school"

Holly sighed looking down at the floor "she thinks we don't love her anymore" "what"? Gail gasped loudly "Shhh ...keep your voice down I don't want her to think we're fighting, she hoped that maybe if she was sick then we would both be here with her" Gail closed her eyes rubbing her temples ..

"She told Chris that she's afraid we will fall out of love with her like we ... Holly stalled biting hard on her bottom lip " well she thinks we stopped loving each, so that means she can stop loving her" Gail shook her head " we would never"

"We know that" Holly agreed "but she doesn't, she hears us fighting "

Gail laid her head on the desk, guilt flooding through her "poor kid" "I know so ... Holly nodded shifting her feet "What do we do about it?,

I don't know if maybe we should say something to her now or not"? Gail say silently for what felt like forever "maybe tonight's not the time?"

"Are you guys fighting"? Came a voice from behind the door. Holly opened it with a smile "no baby of coarse we're not, I just needed to talk about some grown up stuff with your mom..

Sophie nodded leaving the two alone .. "I think we should leave it tonight" Gail said biting the inside of her lip "think it over a bit"?

Holly nodded "yeah ok, but we can't leave it to just go away Gail, we need Sophie to understand that what ever is happening with us it doesn't effect how we feel about her" Gail nodded in agreement "Of coarse... But not tonight " Holly nodded "Ok"

Gail sat at the table along with Sophie to eat " Mom is a better cook then you huh"? Sophie teased "Yeah alright" Gail rolled her eyes stuffing her face full of pasta..

"Ok well I'm glad you're enjoying it but I have to go" Holly smiled kissing the top of Sophie's head "Why"? Gail and the child said together "I mean you don't have to" Gail stuttered "I mean if you wanna .. I don't know maybe you should eat too"? Holly stood stroking her daughters hair " I need to get home "

Gail placed her fork on the table wiping her mouth "oh well.. Thank you, for cooking " Holly said her goodbyes and headed back to the morgue to check on things ..

She felt a sigh of relief that for once her and Gail hadn't gotten into a fight, Sophie played heavily on her mind as she sat at her desk checking over the days work.

"Hi" Lucy smiled entering the lab Holly jumped " Lucy? You scared me"

"Sorry" Lucy apologised "I didn't mean you startle you" Holly waved her hand "it's fine I just didn't think anyone was still here.... Uh why are you here" the brunette laughed lightly Lucy shrugged

"I think I just got carried away" she smiled "going home to an empty apartment isn't exactly appealing " Holly nodded knowing exactly how that felt , she hated being alone at her place , especially seeing Sophie's things lying around.

. "I was thinking about heading out to the bar down the street, Lucy explained " The Black Penny is it?"

Holly nodded "yeah the "cop" bar it's a nice place " Lucy nodded "well I think after a successful day in my new placement a drink is in order! Do you want to join me"? She asked as she put her coat on "I mean unless you have someone waiting at home for you "?

Holly felt a lump in her throat at the thought that there actually wasn't anyone at home waiting for her " no! ..No one at home " she smiled sadly " I think a drink sounds good "

"Wicked " Lucy laughed .. "Oh how's your daughter"? Holly turned the lights off walking towards the entrance " she's better thanks "

.... ..........

. The weekend came and went , Sophie had spent her time between Gail and Holly, both agreeing to not talk to the child alone, Holly had asked Gail a few times about when would be the best time to talk to Sophie .. Each time Gail brushing it off....

"Soph"? Gail called out "c'mon baby we're gonna be late for school if you don't get a move on" "Mom why do we leave so early?, when Holly takes me we leave at like 8.30"

"Firstly .. Gail said holding her index finger up " don't call Mom Holly, Secondly? Mom doesn't start work as early as I do, soooooo move ya butt " she winked holding out a lunchbox for Sophie to take. Sophie rolled her eyes "yes ma'am"

Gail strolled into work holding a coffee and eating a donut "sup" Traci frowned "I hope you don't let Sophie eat that crap for breakfast"? Gail not bothering to empty her mouth first shrugged "my life wouldn't be worth living .. Holly would kill me "

"Mmmmmm talking of Holly"? Traci said dusting her desk off from the mess Gail's donut had made. "What about her"? Gail asked "I saw her the other night at the Penny" Traci explained ... "With a very attractive female " "What"?

Gail gasped spitting her coffee all over Traci's now nice clean desk " what female? .. When was this"?

"Gail" Traci moaned wiping the desk again. 

"What female Traci"?

"I don't know " Traci shrugged " her intern I think she said , petite, pretty, young"

Traci knew she could be in the firing line for a "Gail Peck" beat down but took her chances .. She hated seeing two people she cares about in such a mess .

" I mean she's just her intern right? Hols is probably just being friendly "

"Whatever" Gail sulked turning on her heels walking away from her friend .

. "Hey Gail? Chris smiled "how's Sophie"? "Fine" Gail groaned "Is she feeling better"? "Chris" Gail shouted " you and I both know that she wasn't sick so why would you ask if she's feeling better"?

Chris frowned " I actually meant in general Gail, but hey sorry for caring"

"Whatever" Gail sulked this slowly becoming her favourite word of the day .

" you know what Gail, I really thought you had changed " Chris began " I thought you had finally grown up , but you're still just that spoilt brat you've always been"

"Excuse me" Gail gasped shocked at Chris' outburst

"You heard me, I done you a massive favour by helping out with Soph,last week, I ask how she is after she broke down to me ,and you bite my head off for asking ? Maybe that's why she hasn't told you how she's feeling"

"Ok I think you need to stop right there" Gail warned

"No .. No I don't think I do, you've been walking around here with a face like thunder for weeks, people are afraid to talk to you because you bite their heads off, you're rude, you're spiteful and you're taking out your problems on everyone else,when if fact....it's you that's the problem"

Gail was furious that Chris was speaking to her like that and slightly shocked at this usually kind, quiet, gentle man

"you don't know anything about my life so why don't you just .."

"Just what Gail huh! And I think you'll find everybody knows about your business , I spoke to Holly, she's in pain and she's upset and doesn't understand why you've pushed her away" so don't stand there and tell me you're not the problem here " Chris preached " wake up Gail, you have an amazing life .. Or you did have before you threw it way, you have an amazing, smart, beautiful, kind and caring fiancé who loves you more then you deserve, you have an awesome kid, you have a great career , you have family and friends that genuinely care about you .. About all of you , what more could you possibly want"?

Gail swallowed hard, Chris' words rang true, she knows she's messed up and she knows she could lose everything good in her life, but she didn't appreciate being told " are you done"? She asks coldly

" Holly won't stay on her own forever Gail , think about how you're gonna feel dropping your daughter off to her and her new partner " Chris warned " break the cycle Gail

"Gail took a deep breath trying to hold back her tears .. Her mind races back to what Traci had told her about Holly's new intern ..she had never thought about either of them finding new partners, in her mind they were every much still each other's ... "Shit" ..

.... All day Gail's mind had been on what Chris had said to her, he was right she was throwing the best thing in her life away , she knew she was holding on to demons she needed to rid off ... She had to face her fears and let help in ...

She finds herself sat in her car in the morgue car park holding her phone to her ear ..

"Hi this is detective Gail peck I would like to make an appointment with Doctor Mason for as soon as possible .. If you could tell her it's an emergency that would be great

.. "Ok Peck it's man up time" she muttered to herself taking a deep breath as she entered the building

" Well hello Gail" John the old security guard smiled as he buzzed her through the secured door " long time no see huh"? Gail liked John, she liked the quick witted banter between them " you still here old man?" She smiled John nodded "yup not one of the Doctor patients just yet" he winked Gail laughed shaking her head

"is she in"? John nodded "when isn't she"? Gail nodded " it's good to see ya"

Gail stroller down the corridor feeling eyes watch her as she walked she guessed word had got around that her and Holly were separated .. As she entered the lab she couldn't see Holly but she heard her laughing. Laughing along With another women in her office " cosy " she thought as she noticed through the window at what she would later find out was Lucy the "New" intern sat on the corner of Holly's desk " tramp" Gail muttered to herself

. "Hi.. May I help you"?Lucy's chirpy voice pipped up . "Great another Chloe does exist Gail thought..

." not unless you're Holly" she said sarcastically "Doctor Stewart? .

. Uh she's kinda busy do you have an appointment"? Gail glared at Lucy like she was about to kill her

I don't need an appointment " Lucy nodded feeling a little uncomfortable at Gail's domineer, noticing Gail's badge attacked to her hip she smiled " oh you're a police officer?

Is It about case because I can help with that"?

"Detective actually " Gail corrected the intern "and no you can't help, so why don't you run along and tell Holly her fiancé is her "

"Fiancé"? Lucy repeated looking confused

"Yeah.... Fi-an-ce... Do you want me to spell it for you as well"? Gail bitched

Lucy shook her head " no .. No of coarse not i'll uh ... Just go..."

"Yeah" Gail moaned siting at the table as she waited .. Lucy hurried into Holly's office

"Doctor Stewart? I'm sorry to bother you but uh ..". "Lucy please call me Holly" the Doctor interrupted "Yes .. Uh Holly .. You have a visitor"? Holly frowned checking her watch "visitor"?

"Hmmmmm" Lucy nodded "your fiancé"?

"My what"?

"Your fiancé, The police Detective"

"Gail's here"? Holly asked raising her eyebrows as she got up

"she is .. And she's a little scary" Lucy whispered Holly rolled her eyes knowing exactly what that meant ..

She followed Lucy into the lab . "Gail .. Hi.... Is everything ok"?

Gail nodded with her eyes burning through Lucy " it's better now I've past the security checks "

Holly shook her head " Lucy this is Detective Gail Peck from 15 division , Gail ? My new intern Lucy Foster"

Gail shrugged " we need to talk" Holly wasn't happy about Gail's attitude towards Lucy but decided to let it go for now

" come through,...Lucy ?" Holly smiled " would you get the lab ready for my next autopsy"?

"Sure thing Holly " the intern smiled slowly passing Gail

"Holly? .. Wow we are friendly up in here" Gail bitched as she entered Holly's office

" well some of us prefer that then to make people feel uncomfortable Gail!"

Gail rolled her eyes "well she was the one questioning me"

"Probably because She doesn't know you Gail .. She's never seen you before so she's bound to ask " Holly moaned .. "What you mean you never told her about me when you guys were drinking at the penny last night"?Gail mocked " I'm hurt"

Holly sighed "so I'm not allowed to drink with friends anymore "?

Gail knew this was about to blow up if she opened her mouth on the subject one more time ..." Look ...I only came over so we could maybe arrange something so that we could talk to Soph....together"

Holly nodded " ok" Gail swung the chair from side to side " I was thinking maybe you could come over"

"I'm picking Soph up later anyways so maybe we could do it then"? Gail shook her head " no .. I mean I don't want to have the talk and then you two head off... Besides I uh... I have something's I need to say .. Not just to Sophie"

Holly looked surprised, was Gail finally going to give her an explanation ? "Like"?

"Like stuff" Gail shrugged as she swung the chair full circle " I was thinking maybe you could come for dinner and the three of us can sit down together and I guess we can answer any questions she may have"

Holly lifted her glasses to the top of her head " we?... How can ...we... Answer her questions when one of us doesn't really have the answers" she stressed pinching the bridge of her nose ..

Gail stopped swinging the chair to look directly at the Doctor " well I guess I have a lot to answer for... Listen I know I've uh.. She sighed " I've not dealt with any this .. Correctly .. If that's even the word, but uh... She licked and bit her lip " well.. I don't know ..look.. Will you just come over"?

Holly stood still looking deeply at Gail , maybe it was the first time she's really looked at the blonde since they split but right there and then Gail to her had never looked so beautiful, she was biting her lip nervously, tapping her fingers on the desk,

" I mean I would really like it if you did" the cop added

Holly slowly nodded " ok I'll be there"

"Great" Gail smiled slamming her hands on the table as she stood up " say 6"?

Holly again nodded .. " if you don't have other plans I mean" Gail smirked nodding towards the lab where Lucy was still preparing things for Holly..

"That's not even funny Gail" Holly fumed " she's just an intern, nothing more "

"If you say so " Gail laughed under her breath Holly shook her head rolling her eyes

" I say so "

"Does she know that? I mean drinks and then I come here and she's draped across your desk"?

Holly laughed " draped across my desk? Really Gail? .. Ohhhh so your jealous"?

"What no? .. Gail snapped " why do I have a reason to be"?

Holly smiled sucking in her bottom lip" not now she knows I have a ... What are you these days? Mmmm my fiancé was it"?

Gail laughed " last time I look you still wore my rings lunchbox" Gail Pointed Holly's hand " laters nerd "

And just like that Gail strolled back off the way she came leaving Holly clutching at her rings shaking her head .

Holly did in fact still wear her rings, she had tried to remove them a couple of times but it just didn't feel right ..

Holly stood thinking about what Gail had said for a few months " last time she checked"? She said to herself smiling .. Gail must have looked before right? She wondered .. as she played the scene back in her head she remembered Gail drumming her fingers on the desk .. The blonde still had hers on too, pulling her phone from her pocket she typed out a message .

"You still wear yours"

Instantly she regretting pressing send, maybe she should have just let Gail have the last word,

"How every observant of you lunchbox" was the reply making Holly smiled , was this a break through? If nothing else,could her and Gail become amicable?

Holly hoped so, arguing with Gail was starting to take it's toll on her, she guessed if anything tonight might give her an understanding of what was happening with the two of them ..

"You ok"? Lucy asked "Uh yeah" Holly said jumping a little " Lucy I'm sorry about Gail , she can be a little ..., "Icey" Lucy laughed

Holly sighed " she really isn't as bad as she first seems "

" I get that .. I mean you probably wouldn't be engaged to her if she was huh"? Holly smiled biting her lip" we uh.. We're .. She sighed heavily "we're separated right now!"

Lucy didn't pry or ask question she just nodded " the labs ready " "Thank you" Holly winked turning to her phone to see another message.

. " I like donuts if you wanted to bring a dessert ? .. Just saying"

Holly smiled typing back something about Donuts being bad for her so that wouldn't be happening, then headed into the lab to get on with her day ..

Gail smiled as she got into her car .. Hopefully she will find the strength to open up to Holly and Sophie about what's going on with her .. And maybe just maybe she can get her family back .....


	4. Chapter 4

Gail got home later then she hoped so the chances of her cooking were slim, in reality they were slim regardless .. Holly was the cook of the house.. She quickly ordered in Thai from Holly's favourite restaurant and ran upstairs to take a shower, Traci was dropping Sophie off after soft ball practice so it gave Gail time to ready herself... The vision of Lucy flirting with Holly and Chris' words ringing in her ears she decided to make an effort in her appearance, not that Holly would care what she looked like,she had seen Gail looking worse for wear many times during their time together .... 

 

The Thai arrived just before Sophie made it home, "wow something smells good" Traci sniffed " did you cook"?  
Gail frowned " does it smell of burnt toast"? 

"Mummy cant cook" Sophie smiled " but she tries "   
"good save kid" Gail winked " go change and wash up,dinner Won't be long"

Once Sophie had gone Traci turned to her friend" are you going somewhere?"  
"No why"? Gail replied playing down her efforts ..  
"No reason you just look nice" 

"I do"? Gail asked looking down at herself .. "Holly's coming over" she signed " we're going to talk to soph about how she's feeling"   
Traci nodded "well that's good .. And very mature Gail"   
Gail was biting down on her lip " yeah and I uh.. I have some explaining to do to Holly, I've been a jerk I know that,and I don't want to lose my family"  
Traci smiled stroking the blondes arm " that's great Gail, I hate seeing you two in so much pain "   
"Me too, and Holly deserves better, I've booked a therapy session with doctor Mason too"  
Traci raised her eyebrows in surprise, she and Gail both used Doctor Mason after the perik incident, and although it worked, she knew Gail hated every minute of it.. 

"Wow, that is good, and you must be serious about working this all out of your going to Doctor Mason"

" I am " Gail whispered   
Traci said her goodbyes leaving Gail alone in the kitchen with her thoughts only to be disturbed by the door bell ... 

It felt weird for Holly to knock on her own front door but it was something she had been getting use too.. 

"soph get the door" Gail called out..  
"I'm not allowed to answer the door when it's dark out" the child reminded her mother ..   
" well on this occasion I'll make an exception"   
Sophie didn't argue she just shrugged and slipped off down the hall .. 

"Mommy" she cried out her voice full of excitement  
" baby girl " Holly clapped picking her daughter up into her arms kissing her cheek ..

"How come your here" Sophie asked as they walking into the house ...  
"Well I heard your mom was cooking so I needed to see it for myself " Holly joked causing Gail to shake her head ..  
"Mommy ordered in" Sophie said outing her mother ..

"Yeah yeah you two " Gail sulked   
Holly winked at her daughter with a smile " how was school"? 

"Good! My side won the soft ball game"   
"Awesome" Holly cheered taking a seat at the dining table   
Gail didn't speak she just placed a glass of Holly's favourite wine in front of her before going back to the kitchen.. 

"Oh I won the spelling bee too" Sophie smiled   
"You did"? Both Gail and Holly said together, their voice full of proudness ..  
"Yeah I have a certificate and everything, I'll go get it" the child said before running up the stairs .. 

"She seems happier" Holly said more so to herself ..  
" well she has us both in the same room so... " Gail answered " and we aren't fighting " she added turning to face the brunette ..  
"so how do we play this"? 

Holly shrugged " I guess we should just have a nice dinner and bring it up casually, I don't want her to think she's in any kind of trouble"   
"Me either" Gail nodded .. " so as you can smell, I didn't cook. I got home around five so didn't have time,which I'm sure is a bonus for you both"   
Holly laughed "Awww your cooking isn't that bad"   
"Oh really"?   
"Really" Holly smirked " I like grilled cheese sandwiches "   
"Yeah well your out of luck tonight Stewart, it's Thai only"   
Holly sighed playfully " what a bummer" 

Gail smiled, it was the first time in months the pair of them had any kind of civil conversation, it felt like old times, it felt right.. Gail knew they had a long way to go but hoped tonight would be the starting point .. 

Sophie showed off her certificate before they sat down to eat , dinner was nice and relaxed with Sophie leading the conversation ..  
Gail filled both their glasses without asking as she watched Holly and Sophie interact.. How could she have thrown something so beautiful away? 

"So Soph I asked Mom to come over for dinner tonight so the three of us could talk" Gail said gently.. Both women noticing the drop of there daughters shoulders, she sunk slightly into her chair "ok"

" I know these last few months haven't been easy,but I want you to know none of this is your fault ok"? Gail continued .. Her hands shaking around her wine glass .. 

Sophie just nodded to let her mother know she was listening ..   
" so you remember when uncle Chris hung out with you? And you guys talked about some stuff "?

Sophie's little eyes widened, her face full of fear that she had done wrong.. Holly took hold of her tiny hand and squeezed it gently to reassure her while Gail continued on ..

"well Mom and I think that maybe we need to talk about that, you know about feelings.. Especially yours, because they mean the most to us"   
"Yeah and we don't want you to feel that you can't talk to us " Holly added.. "Honey we know you wasn't really sick"   
Sophie's lip began to tremble which made Gail feel like a complete asshole.. How could she not see what she was Doing to the people she cared most about ... 

" it's ok Soph, you're not in trouble baby, but Mom and I need to know what your feeling " 

Holly stoked the child's face " Sophie you don't have to be afraid about how me and mom feel about you, we love you more then anything in the world and that .. That will never change, it couldn't, we could never stop loving you" 

" how can you say that"? Sophie asked her voice full of sorrow " you loved each other before and now you don't, and you moved away from us.. And I have to go to your new house and we don't have family Friday's anymore" 

Holly pulled the child on to her lap hugging her tightly " I know baby and I'm sorry .. I'm sorry you have to feel like this and I'm sorry you're suffering "  
"Then why did you leave us? You don't even like your apartment, you've only done my room, your stuffs still in the boxes and you're sad all the time, if your sad there why don't you come home" ?

Gail felt a tear fall from her eye.. " ok stop .. Soph just stop," Gail couldn't sit by and watch as Holly took the Blame for breaking up their family ... " come here Soph I need to tell you something "  
Sophie hesitated for a few seconds then jumped off Holly's lap into Gail's waiting arms .. Holly by now was an emotional wreck , her tears flowed uncontrollable and it broke Gail's heart ..  
"Ok so you're 8 and you're smart so I know when I tell you this you're gonna understand.. Mom didn't leave us because she wanted to, she left because of me" 

"Gail" 

"'No it's ok Hol, I think you need to hear this too" Gail smiled taking a deep breath in " Sophie I've been an idiot and I haven't handled things the way i should of, you know I always tell you that you should talk about your feelings "?

Sophie nodded ..

"Well I shouldn't tell you to do something that I don't do myself, you see Soph I find it hard to talk about stuff and because of that I ended up pushing mommy away, I stopped taking to her, and because I did that she didn't understand what was happening, and if I'm honest neither did I" 

" why did you stop taking to mommy"?   
Gail shook her head her tears coming or frequently then she wanted " because I didn't know where to start, I was scared"

" if it's your fault then why did Mom leave and not you"?

Gail gasped " I don't know " she swallowed biting her bottom lip .. " maybe I should have,"

"Gail you don't need to do this" Holly whispered through the lump in her throat .  
" I do Holly, because if I don't then I'm going to lose my family and I don't think I can live with that" 

" did you stop loving mommy?"  
" God no, the blonde sighed " Soph? I love your mom very much, just like I always have and that will never change, just like my love for you won't, you two are the most important people in my life, I would do anything for you "

Holly was amazed at the complete turn around in Gail, something clicked and in front of her was the women she feel in love with .. 

" so all you have to do is talk to her and then she'll come home right"? The girl asked looking at Holly.. 

"It's not that easy baby "Gail answered Saving Holly from finding the right words .. 

" see I want to make thing better and for them to go back to the way things were and for Mom to come home, but in order to do that I have to fix me first"

Sophie frowned looking all together confused "what? are you broken"?   
Gail laughed " kinda yeah, but I'm working on fixing the broken bit.. I'm going to see a lady called Doctor Mason and she's gonna help me "

Holly tiled her head her eyes fixated on the blonde .. She knew very well who Doctor Mason was and she also knew how much Gail hated therapy .. Somewhere inside her she was angry that Gail had now decided to seek help but refused when she begged for them to go .. "Doctor Mason"? 

Gail wiped her eyes looking at the Pathologist " yeah .. I know we have a lot to talk about but it's a start right"? 

Holly nodded she didn't want another fight so pushed her feelings side for the time being .. 

"So you're not mad at me for pretending to be sick"?

" No Honey " Holly answered " we know why you did it and we're sorry you felt you couldn't tell us" 

"Well I'm sorry" Sophie sulked " and I'm glad you're going to get fixed mommy" she smiled at Gail hugging her .. Gail looked over the child's head and into Holly's eyes, " I am too baby, and you can tell us anything ok? Even if your think we Wont like it or we might be mad, you can still tell us" 

"I will" the girl agreed " and I'm happy we had dinner together " 

Holly smiled she was over come with joy that Sophie had that heavy burden lifted off her little shoulders .. " why don't you go have a shower and get ready for bed" ?

"Will you be here when I'm done"?   
"Of coarse, I'll read to you tonight and tuck you in"   
A huge grin spread across the girls face and her eyes finally found some light " ok I'll be quick "   
...

 

Once Sophie was gone the two women sat silently in their seats .. Holly had so many questions she wanted answered but knew not to push the blonde .. She had to tread carefully .. 

"So when do you see Doctor Mason"?   
Gail sighed " I left her a messaged today, i said it was an emergency"  
Holly nodded " why now? Why not three months ago"? 

"Holly cmon " Gail moaned getting off the table taking the empty plates with her..   
" I can't explain any of this right now, that's why I've called the old bag,as much as I'm not a fan ,she can helps me" 

Holly downed the contents of her glass following Gail into the kitchen area .. " look I get that you need help and believe me I am happy you finally decided to do it.. But what do you think it's going to achieve now" ? 

Gail closed her eyes telling herself not to get defensive and cause an argument " it's going help me open up and face my problems and once I've done that, I can work on fixing things .. "

Holly nodded " and what? I'm just suppose to wait around"?

Gail knew Holly had every right to be angry with her and she knew she had to take it and except she was the cause of the breakdown, but Holly wanted answers to things Gail just could provide her with in that moment .. 

Chris words called out to her yet .. His voice was being to grate on Gail .. Man up Gail .. Gail up.. 

Gail took a deep breath and turned to face a teary Holly .. Man she is beautiful, Gail thought .. " ok listen to me, I can't answer you right now, i can't make things better for you as quickly as I want too.. But what I can tell you is " biting her bottom lip hard Gail took a moment to get ready to wear her heart on her sleeve .. "That I love you, that I loved you from the minute you kissed me in that cloak room, and that ..from that day to this one I've never stopped, in fact I don't think it would ever be possible for me not to love you.. But I've lost my way Holly, I've forgotten who I've worked so hard to be and I took it out on you, on our family, and I don't blame you if you turn your back on me, fuck I would if I was you, . I want to get better so I can fight for us .. And I'm prey to every god out there I haven't completely missed my chance to do that " ?

"done" Sophie said jumping out from behind the door.. "Are you fighting"? She asked seeing both women still crying.. 

"No Honey we're not, I promise you no more fighting ok"  
Sophie smiled wrapping her arms around the brunettes waist " good, can we watch some tv"?   
"Sure" holly answered "just for a little while"   
"You too mommy"? Soph ordered holding her hand for Gail to take..   
"I'll follow you in , I just wanna clear the dishes .. 

Holly and Sophie sat cuddled up on the couch .,Sophie was laughing at the tv but Holly was a million miles away .. Everything Gail had revealed tonight ran though her mind like a speeding train .. So much so that she didn't hear or notice Gail sit down ..Sophie smiled at her mother and placed her feet on her lap .. Gail stoked Sophie's leg while she watched Holly.. She would give anything to be able to read her thought right now, she thought .. 

and hour must have past when Sophie complained she was tired and wanted to go to bed , asking Holly to tuck her in .. When she got to her room she didn't want a bed time story just a hug before she called it a night .. 

Holly slowly made her way down the stairs, Gail was still sat on the couch nursing her wine glass ..   
"She was to tired for a story" 

Gail nodded " yeah it's been one hell of a night"   
Holly cousins disagree with that " I better go"   
Gail stood up " do you have too? I mean there's wine left and you know if you Leave me here with it I'll drink it all" she joked trying to make light of the moment..  
" I have to drive Gail, and I've got an early start " Holly explained ..

Gail nodded wishing she had the guts to ask her what her reply would have been had Sophie not interrupted earlier " ok"

Holly stalled a little before heading towards the door to put her shoes on " I'm glad you're seeing Doctor Mason" 

" well if I what the old me back I have no choice" Gail smiled ..  
Holly nodded " I'll see you" 

Just as Holly opened the door to Leave Gail called out " wait"   
Holly turned back only to meet Gail stood behind her ., " do you still love me"?

" Gail " Holly sighed ..  
"Do you! Just answer me"? Gail begged .. 

Holly licked her bottom lip shaking her head " that's just a stupid question"   
"Just answer it please" Gail said hopeful .. 

" yes" Holly whispered .".yes I still love you Gail"   
" Gail smiled though her tears "that's all I need to know " Gail whispered back ..


	5. Chapter 5

"Gail I'm feeling a sense of déjà vu here" 

"Mmmm"

Doctor Mason rolled her eyes " the first time we met you sat here silently like your Doing now' forgive me for being dim but it was you that asked for this appointment right? you weren't forced to come here!" 

Gail puffed her cheeks out exhaling loudly " yeah I made the appointment, but you know as well as I do I'm not good at this" 

Doctor Mason nodded in agreement "ok so .. Let's talk about some thing else first?"  
"Like"? Gail frowned   
"I don't know" the Doctor shrugged " work? How's that going for you"? 

"works work" Gail sighed " I'm a detective now,so chances of getting kidnapped are much slimmer" she joked only to be met with an unimpressed frown.. 

"Ok ... Fine " the blonde cop gave in .. " so last time I was here I told you about how I met some one who kissed me" 

"Holly right"? the Doctor remembered ..  
Gail was impressed by the doctors memory ..  
"Yeah well turns out I did switch teams, we got together and now we have an adopted little girl, her names Sophie, she's 9 and she's awesome and beautiful and she's changed my life, they both have" 

"Ok well that's great, sounds perfect in fact" the Doctor smiled "so why are you here? Why do you need me"? 

Gail sunk into her chair squeezing her hands between her legs " I got stabbed.. "She explained pointing to the side of her stomach " I was chasing a perp and he jumped out on me, the next thing I knew I was covered in blood and everything went dark" 

Doctor Mason made notes but didn't speak, leaving Gail to continue ..  
" turns out I had to have surgery, I lost shit loads of blood and it took a while for me to heal"   
"Physically"? The doctor asked ..  
Gail frowned "well obviously" 

"And mentally"?   
Gail swallowed sucking in her bottom lip " yeah well that's another story, it's kinda why I'm here" 

"Ok so tell me about it"?   
"About being stabbed"? Gail asked   
The mason shook her head " about the mental healing, how's that going"? 

Gail threw her head back looking up to the ceiling " well I wouldn't be here if I was going well would I " she asked sarcastically " God I can't believe I'm paying for this" 

Doctor Mason laughed under her breath, Gail was one of her more difficult patients but she knew once she opened up she was texted book material .. " well you asked to be here,so why don't you continue" ?

Gail sat quietly for a moment before looking at the Doctor " I've pushed Holly away" she whispered " she doesn't recognise me anymore" 

Again the Doctor made notes " why have you pushed her away?"  
Gail shrugged "aren't you suppose to tell me"? 

"Well I can't tell you that, I can help you get to the bottom of it but it's you that has to find the reasons" 

Gail bit on her lip hard " I can't.. I mean I haven't .. We haven't .. You know"?   
"No I don't know Gail" Mason answered .. 

Gail knew how the conversations go with this women. She never helped answer the questions Gail wanted answering, she knew she would push for Gail to find them from within herself and she hated it .. She hated having to dig into her thoughts and feelings .. She hated therapy, even more so that this time round she had to pay for it herself .. 

"Sex Doc," she sighed " we haven't had sex since I was hurt,"  
"Because of the pain? because your sex drive has slowed down?"

Gail shook her head " I don't know, I just know that, I couldn't bring myself to let her touch me, to touch her incase she wanted to to you know .. Get busy" 

Mason took notes again then placed her note pad down leaning toward Gail " so your afraid to be intimate with your girlfriend" ..

" Fiancé" Gail corrected her "well she was"  
"You've broke up"?

"Kind of an understatement" Gail sulked " I've pushed her away so much so that she couldn't cope being around me, she said it was like living with a stranger, so she moved out,"

Mason nodded urging Gail to continue.. 

"We started fighting, like all the time fighting and we never fight, but she's angry and she's hurt and she doesn't understand why this is happening,.. It took for Sophie to break down for us to realise we had to stop" 

"Break down"? 

Gail nodded "She told a friend of ours that she's scared we will stop loving her like we have each other, which isn't the case because I love that women more then life it's self .. I just don't know when I forgot that" Gail says more to herself .. 

Gail sat working out some things in her head, that was the beauty of Doctor Mason, she said Very little, and in the silence the patients begin to hear their own internal monologue.

"So what do you need Gail"?

Gail felt a tear fall from her eye that she quickly wiped away " I want my life back" she sniffed " I want to feel me again, I want my Fiancé to come home and I want to be able to let her touch me" she sniffed again "God I miss her" 

Doctor Mason sympathised with the cop, she had walked her through her abduction and the death of her colleague yet she hadn't witnessed this Gail .. This Gail was in pain and she wanted to help her walk through it just like before .. " Gail why do you think you can't let Holly be close to you?" She asked handing a tissue to the blonde ..

"Because I'm not perfect" the cop explained wiping her eyes   
The therapist frowned "no ones perfect Gail!"

"I am" the blonde said bluntly " to her.. In her eyes, I am"   
Mason nodded " and now you're not"? 

Gail silently wept shaking her head "now I'm just a compete fuck up who's losing the only decent thing in her life, apart from Soph that is"   
Doctor Mason shook her head " you don't have to lose your family Gail, you just need to talk to Holly and tell her your fears, open your heart and let it out, she loves you, she's not going to judge you,.. Sweetheart you don't need me to tell you what you have to do, you already know"  
Gail sighs heavily rubbing her face " ugggghhh why is this so hard" she sulked .

"It's not Gail! you just need to trust yourself and your fiancé,..believe you're worth it"

Gail smiled softly at the Doctor " you know as much as I hate all this, you're actually worth every penny and you don't actually do anything"   
Doctor Mason laughed "well I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult, but I'll thank you anyway" 

........

"Hey" Traci smiled "how was you know"? She whispered.  
Gail leaned back in her chair " fine, I mean it was the first session and already she's helped me,"   
Traci squeezed her friends shoulder " well that's fantastic, how many sessions do you think you'll have"?   
Gail sighed with a slight smile " would you believe me if I said one? I mean that women is like a painkiller, you pop one of two in your mouth and hey presto the pains gone" 

Traci frowned" you think one session with her is enough"?   
Gail stretched her arms out in front of her " probably not but i already know what I have to do"   
"And what's that"? The dark skinned women laughed   
"Fix my family" Gail said seriously .. 

....... 

Gail sat on her sofa just taking in the quietness. Something she generally wasn't usually a fan off .. But tonight there was a calm inside her .. A wave gently crashing at the shore of her stomach, a little nervousness, maybe even butterflies .... 

 

"That's not true Soph! you have to accept that when you're called out..you're called out" came a voice from the hall way as Gail hears the door open ..  
" I was in and anyways how could he have seen from where he was" the child sulked " my foot was on the pad " 

"Well the umpires word is finally Honey"

"Mommy" Sophie cheered jumping on to the couch only to be pulled down by Gail for hugs " Hey kid, what's happening"?

"The umpire has it in for me" the girl stated   
Holly rolled her eyes "no he doesn't! Sophie is sulking because she was called out "

" I was in, he was miles away from me Ma, how would he even see where my foot was"?

Gail smiled "don't worry baby, there's always next time"   
Gail's words shocked Holly, usually she would have some smart ass comments about the umpire, threaten to pull him over for speeding, but nothing, that was new..

"Ok so I have to go, kiss me?" Holly orders the child who instantly jumps up to hug her mom .. " love you Honey" 

" i love you mommy" 

Gail stands waiting for the pair to part before sending Sophie to get out of her soft ball kit ..   
"So I uh, went to therapy today" she explains Softly ..  
Holly smiled feeling a little nervous" oh! Uh... how did it go"?   
Gail shook her head " that women is so annoying, but she just knows, you know"? 

Holly licked her bottom lip " so I'm guessing it helped" 

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Gail asked changing the subject ..  
Holly sighed as always getting Gail to talk was hard work .. " dinner"?  
"Yeah my mom made this beautiful chilli it's on the stove now, I have some new wine, Sophie would love it and I .. Well I .. Do you want to"? 

Holly checked the time on her watch " I um.. I cant tonight Gail" 

"Why not"? Gail snapped   
I just can't tonight ok? I have somewhere to be"? Holly answered not giving anything away ..

" somewhere more important then dinner with you fam... Kid? Your kid" the blonde swallowed knowing this probably wasn't the way to go.. 

Holly shook her head "dont do that ok? She said calmly "Don't make this out to be more then what it is, I'm just meeting some of my work colleagues Gail, I've been snowed under at work and with all this going on I need a break, a night off" 

"Drinks with Lucy huh"? Shit shit shit Gail screamed at her self inside .. Knowing she shouldn't have said it.. Why does she always seem to say the wrong things , holding her breath for the shit storm that's about to evolve ..When nothing came she looked at Holly who's head was tilted,along with an unimpressed look .. But still she said nothing so Gail took it as a chance to take it back ..

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that, who you drink or spend time with is none of my business" 

Holly did something she hasn't done in months and that was reach out and touch the women she loves .. Taking the blondes hand into hers " Gail I have no interest in Lucy or anyone else for that matter, "

Gail couldn't breath, the feel of Holly's hand holding hers sent her body into a spasm , the touch she missed so much, the touch she craved for without realising ..

" And that's because I still love you gail!, and In my eyes separated doesn't mean completely over, and yes I wear my rings and i'll continues to wear them until I know different"

" I love you too" was all Gail wanted to answer back "  
Holly ran her thumb across the cops cheeks smiling at her as she did so ..  
Gail leaned forward gently placing her lips to the side of Holly's mouth .."you should go before your late... relax, let your hair down" 

Holly was so taken back by Gail's gesture she almost lost her legs from under her.. Gail for the first time in over three months had moved the walls she hides behind ..

Holly smiled with a nod "so shell I pick Soph up from school tomorrow?"

"Gail shook her head "no it's ok, I can drop her to you, maybe to your place"?   
Holly frowned " my place"? She asked surprised..Gail had never even been to Holly's front door let alone inside her apartment before so it came as quiet a shock to the brunette .  
Gail nodded enthusiastically "if you don't mind" 

Holly nodded opening the front door " no of coarse not" 

 

Gail bite her lip with a smile.. She knew Holly wasn't going to just open her arms to her and forgot about the last few months, she knew it was going to be tough, and the road was long but .. She knew she wasn't going to fail, she will win her family back one way or another .. She just had to fix herself first and with the Help of Doctor Mason, she knew things were possible ...

 

........

 

Holly woke with a slight hint of a hang over, as much as Gail weighed heavily in her thoughts she managed to enjoy her evening.

Once she was out of the shower and dressed she stood in her kitchen drinking her coffee when her phone rang out .. 

A text from Gail? ..   
As she opened the message she couldn't help but laugh.. A picture of Sophie showing off a huge smile with a front tooth missing and the caption " our kids missing something"   
Sophie for the last year had regularly lost baby teeth ..   
Holly smiled as she typed back..

"Too cute Honey, I'll let the tooth fairy know she owes you a couple of dollars..xx 

Gail texted back asking "if they were still ok for dinner tonight?" Which Holly replied " she was looking forward to it" ..

Gail started her day with a smile .. Witnessing Her child showing off her gappy smile to her friends in the playground ..

"What's got you smiling"? Traci asked as she appeared at the blondes side dropping Leo off ..  
Gail shrugged " Soph lost another tooth" she pointed over as the girl showed Leo ..

Traci laughed " Sophie needs to lose teeth more often "   
Gail smiled " So I'm going over to Holly's tonight for dinner " she stated " well we,..Soph and I are" 

"That's progress" Traci replied   
"Yeah it is, I haven't actually been inside before, and weirdly I'm nervous, and I don't know why? because it's Holly you know"? 

Traci nodded " it's been tough on all of you Gail, and I think it's great that you guys are moving forward... Even if it's baby steps" 

Gail silently agreed " I don't know about forward! I'd just be happy to go back to the way it was"   
Traci squeezed her friends arm " forward to better things Like they were before Peck , cmon lets go fight some crime" the dark skinned women laughed with a wink ...

....

"So last night was fun" Lucy smiled as her and Holly worked on some DNA samples Detective Swarek dropped off early that morning ..  
"Yeah it was" Holly agreed " although my head didn't think so this morning,"  
"Oh god yes" Lucy laughed " I didn't realise I drank that much until I woke up" 

Holly kept her concentration on her work whist Lucy continued to talk .. " it's really nice for me to be able to get out and socialise, moving to a different town can be hard, but I've been made to feel so welcome"

"That's great Honey"!Holly muttered semi listening .  
Lucy blushed a little at Holly's term of endearment " so are you up to anything later? I was thinking about going to the movies"   
"That's good" Holly replied..  
"Do you want to join me"? Lucy asked causing Holly to look up at her intern .. " the movies?"

"Yeah,there's this new cop film out" Lucy explained " it looks awesome" 

Holly screwed her face up a little "no offence but I've lived with a cop for many years now and tend to spend a lot of time around them, watching a movie about what they do day in and day out isn't my idea of fun,especially when I panic enough about Gail's job as it is"

Lucy nodded "of coarse, yeah sorry, I mean there are other films out, it doesn't have to be that one.. Or we could grab dinner"? 

Holly wasn't stupid, she knew when she was being hit on even if Lucy was subtle.. The young women was very attractive and sweet and Holly would be lying if she said she wasn't flattered, but her head and her heart lie with Gail and that wasn't going to change and time soon ... 

"That's nice of you to ask Luce,but I'm having dinner with my family tonight" Holly explained trying to let the intern down gently..

"You're family"? 

Holly nodded "yeah Gail and Sophie"   
The intern frowned " oh I uh.. I thought you and Officer Peck were separated"? 

"Detective Peck " the pathologist corrected the women " and we are, but we are still family and we have a daughter together, and separated for now....not for good" 

Lucy felt embarrassed at being shot down and put in her place by her boss .. She as well as Holly wasn't stupid and knew it was a polite way of telling her that Holly wasn't interested .. The two both feeling the atmosphere change carried on working in silence.... 

 

" Price" Oliver called out " head down to see Doctor Stewart, she's worked her magic and the results are in" 

"I'll do it"? Gail offered jumping off her seat causing Oliver to grin ..  
"Uh it's blue shirts work Peck, I'm sure you have more pressing things to be doing as a detective " he teased ..  
"Always a beat cop.. First and foremost Ollie, your words not mine" the blonde smiled heading out the door .. 

"Am I going"? Chloe asked   
Oliver shook his head " stand down Price, The balding man winked " Pecks got it" 

.... 

Gail strolled into the morgue trying to be cool..

"Hey" 

Holly's gasped at the sight of her Fiancé, she was the last person she expected to show up "hi, has something happened? Is Soph ok"? She panicked   
Gail smiled "relax nerd, I'm here for the Dna samples for Sam"   
"You are"? Holly frowned "Gail? since when did you do errands for others" 

Gail noticed Lucy watching from the corner of her eye, the blonde liked that she intimidated the intern " yeah well I'm not usually someone's dogsbody but today I'm feeling generous, I guess now I know how interns feel " she smirked ..

Holly rolled her eyes taking a quick glance at Lucy before turning her attention to the Detective " well that is generous of you " she smiled holding a file out for Gail to take .. " tell him i also found some paint particles on on the ribs but that's going to take time, I'll let him know when it's in" 

Gail flicked through the pages with no clue what she was looking at " so what time do you want us tonight"? She asked looking over at Lucy .. She didn't like the women, she could see Lucy had a crush on the Doctor, and who could blame her? Holly was sickeningly beautiful..

"I get off at five so anytime after that " Holly answered ..   
"K... See ya" Gail smirked 

Holly took a deep breath, the sudden change in Gail confused the hell out of her, but it should be something she's use to, Gail would from time to time struggle and go quiet, then out of the blue she would be back to her normal self, Holly put it down to side effects of her job .. 

"She hates me" Lucy stated with a weak smile..  
"Gail hates most of the worlds population , I wouldn't take it personally" Holly smiled ... 

....... 

"Have you seen you're brother" Traci asked all flustered.  
Gail just shook her head, her attention on her paper work ..  
"Well if he's late he can forget dinner, I am not dripping Leo off at the Peck Palace, your mom still creeps me out" the dark skinned women sulked..

"Leo's going to my parents"? Gail asked sitting up straight in her chair..  
"Yeah Steve and I have been working out asses off all month and we wanted some couple time" 

"Gross" Gail cringed " just ewwww"  
Traci laughed " oh cause you've never done any adult type things Gail "   
" sex, Traci you can say it, and yeah I have but the thought of you and my brother doing it puts me off for life" 

Traci rolled her eyes "geez thanks, anyways if he's not here in ten minutes we won't be doing anything but watching soccer on the tv with Leo ".. 

"I'm here" Steve announced pushing Gail's shoulder as he walked by   
"Ow! Asshole" Gail sulked running her pained area ..  
Steve kissed his girlfriend before turning back to his sister " so how's Holly"? 

"Why"? Gail snapped causing Steve to shrug," no reason just taking an interest in the well being of my family" he stated earning himself a look from Traci ..

"She's fine" Gail muttered secretly touched her brother loved Holly as much as she did..

" Ok so if we leave now we can grab Leo from school, run by our place to get his stuff and you can take him to your mom" Traci smiled clapping her hands together..

Steve smirked at his sister "couples night"   
Gail cringed again " and it's still as gross as the first time I heard it" 

"Jealous"! Steve coughed into his hand ..   
Gail threw her pen down swinging in her chair ..."Steven believe me,jealously is the last emotion in the world I would ever feel about the knowledge that my friend here" she points to Traci " actually wants to sleep with you, so why don't you run along like a good boy and do as you're told" 

Steve laughed kicking out his foot but fails swift movement made him miss by a mile..

"Oooo lucky garbage pail" Steve laughed kissing Traci on her cheek " I'm just going to get the car keys from my desk"..

Traci felt bad that Steve choose to tease the blonde knowing how hard things are for her ..  
" You know... Leo isn't overly keen on staying at your parents on his own"

"I'm not babysitting so you two can bone" 

"No I don't mean that " Traci laughed " I thought maybe Soph could stay over too"?

"She can't," Gail said quietly " we're going over to Holly's for dinner" 

Traci nodded folding her coat over her arm "or the more reason why she should, I bet it's been a while since the two of you were alone"?

Gail pondered on that thought for a moment " show up for dinner alone"? She frowned 

"Why not"? Traci shrugged " see how things are between you now that you're see Doctor Mason, it might help"? 

Gail bite the inside of her mouth still swinging on her chair " can I do that"? 

"You can do what ever you want Gail" 

"Ok let's go" Steve said loudly raising his arms over her head ..  
Traci watched Gail for a few seconds " Sophie's going to stay with Leo tonight!.. Two against your mom is better then one" 

Steve not even bothering to ask why just smiled . " so am I taking her too"? 

"Gail"? Traci asked..

Gail was terrified,could she really show up at Hollys alone? Would Holly mind? Would it mean they had to talk? Would they fight"?   
All these "what ifs ran though Gail's mind until Traci gently touched her arm ..

"Gail? Shell we collect Sophie?.. We can swing by your place to get her stuff? I still have your key"? 

Gail slowly nodded " uh yeah, sure.. I mean Leo needs a wing women right"? 

Traci winked squeezing the cops arm again " don't bottle out, go have dinner with your fiancé".. 

Gail took a huge breath, breathing out deeply, " dinner with Holly" she whispered to herself placing her head on her desk " just us....


	6. Chapter 6

Gail knocked on the huge white front door in front of her .. A little hard she realised.. (Cop thing) she smiled to herself ... 

The wait for Holly to open the door felt like hours.. Steadying her breathing by puffing her cheeks out, Gail went to knock again only to be beaten by the brunette opening the door ..

"Hi," the pathologist mouthed holding the phone receiver to her ear .. 

"Come on in" she waved .." Yes mom I know and yes I'm eating well" she said rolling her eyes " Mom I have to go, I'll call you tomorrow, ok love you bye" 

Holly threw the phone on the sofa " man that women can talk " she smiled turning to face her guest.. "Where's Soph"? She asked with a confused look on her face ..

Gail bit her lip slightly nervous " she uh.. She wanted to stay at my parents house with Leo for the night " she lied " Traci and Steve are having couples night" 

Holly laughed at the face Gail pulled whist talking of her brothers love life .. " that's cute" 

Gail frowned shaking her head " I uh.. I hope you don't mind that it's just me"? She asked nervously ..   
Holly did that famous head tilt she does and smiled " of coarse not " .. If she was honest she was nervous too.. She hadn't been alone with Gail in a long time and was curious as to how the night would play out . " dinner won't be long" ..

Gail nodded pointing to the apartment " do you mind if I"?   
Shake her head with a smile " knock yourself out, I mean there isn't much to see,"

As the apartment was opened planned Holly could see Gail as she looked around ..  
Sophie was right, Holly hadn't really unpacked .. There were boxes still stacked neatly in the corner of the room .. The cop headed into the living area, running her finger across the books Holly had on display, stopping at a photo of the two of them and Sophie " really"? She asked .. 

The framed photo was of the three of them pulling funny faces ..  
"Sophie's choice " Holly stated ..  
"should have known" Gail smiled .. "Can I"? She asked stopping at one of the two closed doors ..   
Holly nodded letting Gail know it was ok , so she slowly opened the door ..  
The room was spacious with pink walls and hard wood flooring.. Sophie's name was stencilled on the wall above her bed .. Fairy lights wrapped around her bed frame .. Gail could see it was decorated with love...

As she looked around the apartment she felt a knot in her stomach.. The place wasn't a home, she knew Holly wasn't happy here.. When they moved into their new house just before Sophie's adoption was final , Holly insisted on decorating it completely before they slept there, she said it was a house and not a home until it was painted to their taste.. Or more to her taste Gail would argue... 

There house was warm and inviting, it had a little of each of them in it.. Where as this apartment was just a shell.. Nothing apart from the books showed Holly lived there.. 

Gail didn't ask for permission to open the other door, which she knew would be Hollys room .. Flicking on the light, she was met with white walls, white bedding and black furniture .. Again this wasn't Holly.. A small desk with her laptop on top of it and a open closet leading to the bathroom ... 

Sat next to the bed was two more pictures one of the three of them at Oliver's cabin.. The first ever photo of them as a family, and the other was one was of just the two of them sharing a kiss.. Happier times for them, times Gail wanted back .. 

Holly watched on wondering what Gail was thinking? She knew she hadn't made the place a home and she knew Gail could see that,..

"Small huh"? 

"Cosy" Gail replied turning the light off and shutting the door ... " not a home though"

Holly forced down the lump in her throat and shook her head " Sophie likes her room" she said trying to over come the moment..

"Yeah well any little girl would, it looks great in there" Gail smiled leaning on the kitchen unit .. "What are you cooking"? 

Holly dried her hands on the towel as she turned the oven down " well I made Sophie favourite pasta bake,but she's not here.had i of known I would have done something else" 

Gail shook her head " sounds good to me" 

The room was silent for a few moments but not uncomfortable, both women taking a minute to collect their thoughts on the situation , Gail wasn't so nervous now, which couldn't be said for Holly, she was trying to concentrate of taking the food out of the oven, but managed to burn herself instead "shit" she hissed causing Gail to run over taking the oven gloves off her and placing the piping hot dish on top of the stove ..

"Here let me see" she said taking Holly gently by the hand running it under the cold tap .. " is this to much for you? my being here" ?

Holly shook her head lifting her now steamed glasses off her face " no it's not that Gail" she swallowed pulling her arm out of the blondes grip .. "It's just " she sighed pulling an ointment out of the Draw to her left " i just wasn't expecting it, I guess I'm just surprised with Soph not being here,that you didn't cancel " 

Gail bite her lip still concerned for the brunettes hand " I know it sounds stupid because I've barely spoke to you in months, avoided you even.. but I ... I wanted to be here, I mean I .. I wanted to see you"

Holly felt like she could of burst into tears right there and then, but she held it together   
" I'm glad you came" she whispered gently rubbing the cream she took from the draw into her hand ..

"Is that ok"? Gail asked pointing over " I mean does it need looked at" ?  
Holly waved her hand " it's fine, lets eat before I injure myself again " 

Gail smiled " why don't you set the table and I'll dish up?"  
Holly did just that and the two sat down to eat, Holly had brought a bottle of chilled Wine to the table and Gail filled both glasses up..  
"Soph's missing out " Gail groaned in appreciation at the food ..  
"Why is she at your parents again"? The Doctor asked ..

Gail wiped her mouth before sipping her wine " Leo didn't want to go alone, my mom bores him I think" 

Holly wasn't buying it, she knew Soph wouldn't pass up spending time with both her parents to endure a night of Elaine Peck .but she wasn't going to question the blonde ..

"Well she's braver them me" she smiled ..

Gail pushed her plate to the side of her bringing her wine glass closer " so I um.." She licked her bottom lip " I wondered if you wanted me to tell you about my session with Doctor Mason" ?

Holly sensed Gail's nervousness " you don't have too.. I mean if you're not ready, it was the first session after all" 

Gail cleared her throat " I know your mad with me" she stated cleaning her teeth out with her tongue " I know it hurts that I wouldn't do the whole therapy thing with you,"

"Gail? It doesn't matter now, we can't change that, I'm just happy your getting the help you need "

"Maybe I wouldn't need help if I had gone when you asked"? The blonde whispered 

Holly sighed " you weren't ready! And now you are so that's what really matters, yes I was a little upset, but then I thought about it and realised that people can't be forced to do things they aren't ready for" 

Gail nodded " Mason she uh, she doesn't do much or say much, she practically gets paid stupid amounts of money for just sitting and nodded and taking notes" 

"I think your find its her way of getting people to open up" Holly stated   
"Yeah and it does.. I mean I find myself talking to myself " she laughed a little " I know it's my first session but I really do think it's helped already" 

Holly nodded " I think so too.. I mean you're here right"?  
Gail nodded looking into Holly's deep brown eyes " thank you" 

"For"? Holly frowned..

Gail shrugged " for dinner, having me here, not turning your back on me"

Holly stood up taking the empty plates, she wasn't sure how to reply so she smiled "your welcome" she whispered taking the plates into the kitchen ...

When Gail was being nosy around the apartment she noticed a old skool record Player, remembering as she sat at the table she headed over with her glass of wine in hand lifting the lid gently .. She knew Holly was a fan of so many genre of music she wasn't sure what would fill the room .. Turning the switch and gently placing the pin down she waited ... 

 

Otis reading's sitting on the dock of the bay sang making gail smile, Holly was a sucker for an oldie .. 

Holly stopped what she was going and just listened, her Fathers favourite song .. As she turned on her heels Gail was stood in front of her ..,"dance with me"? She ordered rather then asked holding her hand out ..

"Gail I"... Holly shook her head not finishing her sentence ..: being close to Gail was uncertain Territory and she was afraid .. 

"Dance with me please"? Gail asked again this time taking the brunettes hand gently pulling her into the living room .. Placing her hand gently on her waist and the other clasping her hand close to her chest, Gail began to sway .. Holly's heart was beating so hard she was sure Gail could hear it .. Feeling awkward just stood there Holly slowly placed her Hand on Gail's shoulder still not moving much .. 

"I'm nervous too" Gail smiled as she stepped in a little closer her cheek resting on Holly's.. For the first time in forever it felt good being close to someone, to the women she loved, Gail closed her eyes taking in the moment, where as Holly still cautious not to over touch the blonde, she felt a tear fall from her eye .. This moment was bitter sweet, Gail was finally moving forward and trying to fix things, yet Holly felt a knot in her stomach .. When they danced before her hands would roam the blondes back and neck,with out a care and now right, here she was stood stiff and feeling like she wanted to burst into tears " Gail I can't" she chokes moving away " I'm sorry I just ... "

"Dont be sorry " Gail smiled nervously " I get it!! I know your confused and scared, I am too, I just.. " Gail shook her head " I don't know when I heard that song, I just wanted to dance with you" 

Holly bit her bottom lip "I know" 

Gail stepped a little closer taking the doctors hand again " we use to love dancing!,hair you and me in the moment, like no one was there "

Holly glided her thumb over Gail's engagement rings " you've had these cleaned"? 

Gail nodded lifting Holly's chin with her free hand, seeing the tears in her eyes, Gail sighed " I always have them cleaned" Her thumb wiped away a stray tear " you know you're even beautiful when you cry, I mean some people look crazy scary" she added with a giggle " but not you" 

Gail looked deep into Holly's eyes before her attention dipped to her lips , her beautiful full lips, soft and warm Gail remembered..

Holly knew that look she knew it was one Gail used a lot when looking at her, it was a look of desire, want, need, a look that tells her how much she loved her .. 

"I want to kiss you" Gail whispered causing Holly's breath to hitch ..She was taken back by Gail's admission but was no way she was going to make that move .. If it was what Gail wanted then she had to be the one to instigate it ...

Gail slide her hands to Holly's cheeks never once taking her eyes off her intended target .. She slowly closed the gap just leaving the tiniest distance while she took a deep breath ..  
Holly had stopped breathing at some point, having Gail so close felt like a dream.. A dream she didn't what to wake up from .. "Gail"?

Gail closed the gap .. Her lips gently lean into Holly's .. There was no movement from either of them .. It was a moment where they both test the waters .. Holly bravely places her hands on Gail's hips, Gail moves in a little closer, her hand finds the back of Holly's neck as she opens her mouth to capture Holly's bottom lip .. And they kiss.. The kiss for the first time in months .. Their lips gently move together... Holly's heart is trying to jump out of her chest ... She feels dizzy ..she wonders if she's going to be able to stand much longer .. Gail must have thought the same because she guides them over to the kitchen island where she leans Holly on .. 

Gail felt alive .. She felt like she was back, the old Gail, the one she's been trying to find .. She kissed Holly harder, her tongue forcing entry into her mouth which made the pathologist moan.. Her hands in Gail's hair.. The kiss was quickly becoming heated.. It was a reconnection .. Both moaning into each other's mouth, both touching more freely , Gail took her lips to Holly's neck, sucking hard on her skin.. Her hands found their way to her bra covered breast.. "Gail" Holly gasped ..

" I want you" Gail whispered ridding Holly of her t shirt.. Kissing her hard on the lips before returning to her neck.. Holly felt a rush between her legs, her head was spinning and she wanted Gail more then she realised ..   
Spinning her Around she picked the blonde up sitting her on the kitchen island .. Standing between her legs .. Their kisses were like fire, Gail's hands were all over Holly's bare skin, Holly felt alive .. That was until she placed her hand under Gail's jumped and she froze .. 

"No!" She panicked pushing Holly away so she could jump off the unit " I'm sorry I can't .. She swallowed " I can't do this"

Holly quickly threw her top back on adjusting her glasses " did I do something wrong"?

Gail shook her head running her finger behind her ear " no! .. No! you didn't I just .. I.. I ..I should go" 

Holly didn't understand " go? .. You plan this and then you have a change of heart and you just go"? 

Gail heard the anger in her voice " I'm sorry" 

"No! No you don't get to just be sorry Gail, why did you come here? Mmm"? 

Gail stood still, wanting nothing more then to run out the front door.. " I .... 

"You"? You what Gail" Holly snapped raising her voice " what did you want? Think? Need? What was the plan for tonight? You said you wanted to see me, well here I am.. You didn't have to get me to dance with you.. You didn't have to kiss me, tell me you want me? .. you could of just had dinner and left, you did this Gail.. You"! 

"I know" Gail sniffed " I just wanted " she stopped wiping her tear " it felt right"

Holly laughed " it felt right!!! Then it felt wrong , then it became something you didn't want? Or you wasn't enjoying it? I would ask did I move to fast? But it wasn't me taking my clothes off..,"

"I'm sorry" 

"Yeah so am I!"Holly bite back " I'm sorry that I'm not enough for you! I'm sorry that you cant confide in me! I'm sorry that you don't trust me enough!, and I'm sorry I don't do it for you anymore!" 

"No" Gail argued shaking her head " Hol that's not it!"

"But you know what I'm sorry for most"? Holly added ignoring Gail's words .. 

"I'm sorry that I'm learning to live with out you! and it kills me inside ,but I am Gail "

 

Gail's heart hit the pit of her stomach just as her jaw hit the floor , what could she do? What could she say? Her eyes filled with tears and she didn't care if they escaped 

Shaking her head she swallowed the lump in her throat " no!" 

Holly wiped her eyes taking a breath " you've been gone so long! I thought just then that i had you back.. but" she shakes her head " you're just as distant as you've been, You're like a finger tip away and it doesn't how much I stretch I can't reach you" 

"Holly please" 

"I can't do this Gail! I want to believe your going to get better, and I don't doubt for one second that you don't want this to work, but sometimes the damage is unfixable and we just need to accept that" 

Gail freaked out " no .. No Holly, it is fixable, I just need to fix me first and I'm trying, God I'm trying, you just need to be patient with me.. I mean it's progress right? We got close, we kissed.. We"....

"Yeah we kissed!" Holly interrupted " and then you froze, like I made your skin crawl," 

 

Gail shook her head " no.. That's not it"

"then what is it Gail"? Holly wept "what is it?   
Because you give me nothing,and what you do give me you take back in a second" 

Holly placed her head and hands on the kitchen unit " I can't do this any more" 

Gail couldn't speak, her emotions swallowed up her voice .. Tears stained her eyes .. She just had to wait for Holly to finish .. 

"I can't keep hoping Gail" the Doctor continued " waiting for something that might not ever happen" Holly bravely turned to look at the blonde .. " I think we both need to accept that its over" 

Gail shook head over and over, her voice letting her down, she opened her mouth but no sound came out ..

Holly looked down at her hands, her tears blurring her vision as she slowly removed her rings pacing then on the unit .. 

"Please shut the door on your way out" 

Holly headed into her bedroom shutting the door leaving a devastated Gail barely standing.. She had lost Holly..the same Holly who promised to never give up,..just did!

Gail picked up Holly's rings holding them tightly in her hands .. She needed a helping hand, she needed a prayer, she needed to rid herself of her demons .. She needed a miracle ..


	7. Chapter 7

N.. Hi all .. Thank you for your reviews and opinions, I know some of you are frustrated with Holly. And feel she's being unfair to Gail .. I would just like to say that in the next two chapter you will get an insight into what happened after Gail was stabbed and her recovery and also how It effected Holly. When we write these story's we can't please everyone all the time.. I appreciate that people feel strongly about the characters enough to express their opinions good and bad ...there isn't many chapters left so I hope you stay with me .. Again thanks xx 

 

.................

Gail began to hammer heavily on the door in front of her .. She didn't care how loud it was or how she might disturb the neighbourhood .. 

She continued to bang until the door opened   
"Where's the fire"? The older man asked ..

" I'm sorry sir and I know it's late but I need to see Doctor Mason" Gail swallowed 

"What's going on"? Doctor Mason asked from behind her husband ..Who stepped aside so the Doctor could see the visitor ..

"Gail"? 

"Doc! I'm so sorry to show up at your house and out of hours but I need your help please" the blonde sobbed ..

Doctor Mason knew Gail well enough to know she didn't beg " come on in sweetheart" 

"I'll get the kettle on then" her husband moaned .. "Or something stronger maybe"? 

"Tea" the Doctor answered .. 

"Gail lets go into my office" ..   
Gail followed, her hands shaking and she was struggling to catch her breath . "Doc she's left me .. She's not coming back, I fucked up, I'm to late" 

"Ok calm down Gail, take some deep breaths and tell me what's happened " 

Gail paced the floor shaking her hands out " I went to dinner at Holly's, just us, it was nice ya know,? we talked and we laughed, it felt normal!.. It felt good! It felt like how we use to be .. Like I was myself, she smiled at me and meant it" 

"Ok so that's a good sign right"? 

"No! .. No because I fucked it up, I was stupid to push myself before I was ready" Gail wept still pacing the floor " Doc she's moving on"

Doctor Masons husband knocked the door handing his wife a tray with the tea on and left them to it , Doctor Mason poured Gail a cup leaving it for her to take when she was ready .. " Gail I want to know why you "fucked" things up"? 

Gail stood still looking at the Doctor " we kissed!.. We kissed and she felt amazing, I wanted her, I told her I wanted her" 

Mason nodded .. 

"She has this old record player," Gail began to explain" I put it on and when the music started to play I felt the urge to dance with her.. She wasn't sure at first but I .. I pushed" Gail sniffed wiping her eyes " we danced, it just great, she was nervous but so I was I ..But it just fell into place, I don't know why but I couldn't stop myself, I had to taste her, feel her, I wanted to be close to her so badly that I kissed her" 

Mason handing Gail the tea " and she didnt reciprocate"?   
Gail laughed a little " no!. No she did, we kissed, we kissed a lot, I even took her t-shirt off, I just wanted to make love to her, I wanted her to know I was still here" 

"So you "? Mason asked raising her eyebrows   
Gail shook her head " I was sat on the counter in the kitchen and she was between my legs,it was heating up, but as soon as she placed her hands under my shirt I froze, I freaked out" Gail cried " and I broke her heart all over again"

"Did you explain why you felt like that"? 

Gail shook her head " no! She was angry at me, mad that I had instigated it, and then backed out!" Pacing Again Gail placed her hands over her eyes " why am I so fucked up doc"? 

"Gail' that's not what you are"?

"No"? The blonde snapped " then why is it so hard for me to let the women I'm crazy about touch me"? 

"You know why Gail"? Mason said sitting at her desk ..

"No I don't"! Gail cried " Doc! I need you to tell me what to do! I can't lose her, you know she thinks her touch makes my skin crawl, can you believe that? She thinks She disgusts me.. And I don't blame her because that's how it came across, she touched me and I freak out, I'm a freak"! 

"No your not Gail! You've been through some of the worst things imaginable in your life, counselling you and detective Nash was on of my hardest cases" Mason explained " your strength amazes me,the pain you've been through in your young life is more then most will ever experience"

"Well I would rewind all that and go through all that again in a heart beat if I could change this"Gail sighed " you know she told me she's learning to live without me"! 

Mason nodded " Gail you know how I work, I don't give answers, I provide a platform for you to realise your own issues,mistakes and problems, then I guide you through, but in this case I can see how much your struggling so... Sit down, take a minute, drink your tea" 

"Tea? You want me to drink tea? My life is hanging in the balance here and you want me to drink tea"? Gail fumed ..

"Gail! You came back to me because you know I can help" the Doctor stated "right"? 

Gail nodded ..  
"Ok so sit down and drink your tea" 

Gail done as was asked and sat silently .. 

" ok so this is our second session.. But I knew what you needed before you left my office the other day, Gail you're a brat, you're snarky, sometimes rude,a lot of the time rude, you're deliberately awkward, and you don't care too much for other people's feelings" 

Gail frowned " way to make me feel better, thanks!

Mason smiled" all of those things I've just described are a mask Gail, a mask you hide behind very well,you fool many but not all .. I myself can read you like a manual, I see right thought you and so does Holly, she sees behind all of those things that make you "Gail Peck" and she fell in love with you" 

"Where you going with this Doc"? 

" you said she thinks your perfect! Who says you aren't any more"? 

Gail shrugs not daring to look at the doctor, her attentions of the cup which is now cold .. 

"Gail! You were stabbed, you could have died, you could of left Holly and Sophie alone in the world with the hurt and pain of losing you, and now you bare the scar of that .. A constant memory of what could of happened am I right"? 

Gail didn't answer but her silence told the Doctor she was on point " you're afraid when Holly looks at you she will always be reminded of how dangerous your work is, how in danger you are every time you leave the house!"

Gail stood looking out at the window, it over looked Masons very impressive back yard " therapist earn well huh"? 

Doctor Mason knew this technic, Gail and done it many times " when was the last time you looked in the mirror Gail"? 

"I get dressed don't i "? Gail replied sarcastically   
"When was the last time you looked in the mirror Gail"? She was asked again .. 

Gail let out a huge sigh" I don't know"

Doctor Mason stood next to Gail looking at her " how is she meant to love you when you don't love yourself? How are you meant to let her in,when you've pushed yourself out?.. 

You think because you're scarred you won't be attractive to her any more, that she won't want you! When in fact Gail, it's you who doesn't find yourself attractive any more, you need to allow yourself to accept what happened and that the thing you hate most is now apart of who you are.. Learn to feel yourself, to touch to be touched"

Gail frowned "are you telling me to masturbate!? 

Doctor Mason laughed " if it helps, but what I actually meant was,get to know your body again.. Embrace the parts you don't like, once you've done that you won't feel so ugly, you won't be ashamed of what you bare, and your be brave enough to let Holly into your life again" 

Gail laughed "did you not hear me doc? She's learning to live with out me, it's probably safe to say it's over"

Doctor Mason sighed " well the Gail Peck I know isn't a quitter, it's not over till it's over" 

Gail shook her head " learning to live without you pretty much says it's over"

"Learning Gail .. Getting use too.. Trying.. Not doing.. Not done, not complete" the Doctor smiled .. " listen to yourself, open up, wake up and if after you've done that, you can fight .. And I know you're a fighter,"

Gail took a moment for she spoke " why does it sound so easy when you say it"? 

"Oh it's not .. It's a battle Gail .. But you can win the war" 

Gail wiped her eyes "thank you, and I'm really sorry to busting in on you at home" 

The Doctor frowned " yes how did you manage to find my address "?

"I'm a cop" Gail smiled "and I guess the Peck name comes in handy for something's" 

Doctor Mason saw Gail to the door " I want to see you again this week Gail and maybe Holly"?

"Holly!?" Gail gasped " you want her to come to my session!"?

"No" mason answered " I would like to talk to Holly on her own, get a view of both sides? Maybe I could stop by and see her"? 

Gail shrugged she wasn't sure if Holly would want to talk to the therapist alone.. She guessed it wouldn't hurt to try " will you talk about what we do"? 

"No! I won't discuss what we talk about, it's confidential Gail" 

Gail nodded " ok .. Look I am really sorry to come here, I just needed.... She sighed " well you know what I need" she smiled " just send me the bill ok"?

Doctor Mason smiled " let's call tonight a friendly ear shell we?" 

Gail nodded with a smile " goodnight" 

"Good night Gail , call and make an appointment ok"? 

"I will" ...

.... 

 

Two days passed, Gail hadn't heard from Holly nor had she contacted her, she just didn't know what to say.. Today Was Holly's day to have Sophie for dinner and she would be dropping her off any minute .. 

Gail wondered what she would or should say, part of her was glad Sophie would be there so they wouldn't have to address the other night, but the other part of her wanted to say something, anything ..

"Momma?" Sophie called out as she came through the door .

"Hey baby" Gail smiled kissing the top of her daughters head ...  
" Sophie's school trip needs paying tomorrow, I was running late and didn't bring my purse" Holly explained ..

Gail nodded " yeah ok I'll get some cash out first thing "

Sophie watched her parents talk..she was a clever kid and knew something was up ..

"Are you two fighting again!?" 

"What?" They both said ..  
"No Soph" Gail continued " no we're not fighting"  
Sophie crossed her arms " then why are you both sad? And acting weird"? 

Holly stroked her daughters braided hair " your mom and I just work to hard and are both really tired, we're not fighting baby I promise"

Sophie watched the brunettes face to spot the lie .. No seeing it she nodded " ok .. I'll go shower and get ready for bed" 

Once she was gone Gail turned to Holly " you ok"?  
Holly shrugged, she wasn't going to lie.. She was done with pretending ..

Gail nodded " Hol"?  
"Gail, I wasn't lying about being tired, I just can't right now ok"? 

Gail nodded " ok"

"Don't forget the trip money"? Holly said" or she won't be able to go!"

" I won't, I won't forget" Gail smiled .. 

"I'll call tomorrow, see how she got on" Holly nodded "goodnight" 

"Night" .. 

 

Holly leaned on the closed door, her hands felt bare with out her rings and she regretted taking them off as soon as she did it.. She hated how she handled things and wish she could tell Gail she didn't mean it,..

 

........... 

"Excuse me"?  
Holly looked up from her computer "hi.. Can I help you"? 

"Uh yes if possible" the blonde women smiled " I'm looking for Doctor Holly Stewart"!  
Holly smiled "well you've found her! I'm Holly!"  
"Oh good! Doctor Stewart, my name is Doctor Mason, I'm Officer Pecks ....

"I know how you are" Holly interrupted "what can I do for you"?

Doctor Mason entered the lab fully with a smile " I hope you don't mind me stopping by unannounced,it's just I would like to talk to you"

Holly frowned "about Gail!"?  
"No! Not so much Gail, more so about what's happening with Gail, your side of the story"?

Holly nodded "now"? 

"If you have the time"? Mason answered 

Holly bite her bottom lip taking a moment " maybe we should go into my office" she offered leading the way.. "Please take a seat"! 

Holly picked up the phone pressing some buttons ..waiting for security to answer.."Hi John, it's Holly, something important's come up so if anyone comes looking for me can you send them upstairs to Ruby?... Thank you" 

" it's friendly here"? Mason mentioned listening to Holly ..  
"I'm not big on formalities with colleagues,"

Mason nodded thinking that was typical of the women Gail described, friendly, warm, kind, caring... 

"Would you like some tea!? Or coffee?" 

Mason smiled noticing the impressive coffee machine in the corner " I see you're a fan of the coffee?"

Holly looked at the machine " I can't drink the vending machine stuff" she laughed lightly " Gail drinks it by the bucket load,she actually thinks I'm snobby for having a coffee machine"

"Well I would love a decent coffee, thank you" 

Holly busied herself making coffee before taking her seat " so what can I do for you"? 

Mason took a minute to taste her coffee, "impressive... Ok Doctor Stewart"!

"Please call me Holly" the brunette cringed ..

"Very well, my name is jaclyn... So as you are aware Holly, Gail has been coming to see me, we've been taking through her problems and she's doing well" 

Holly smiled .. She was happy Gail was going well, if anything she just wanted her better.. 

"But I can't completely understand or help her fully without your help" jaclyn continued 

Holly nodded sipping her own coffee .. 

"I hoped you would talk to me, maybe I can help you as well as Gail!"

"You want to council me"? Holly frowned ."I don't mean to be rude but I have insurance for this kind of thing. I mean if I wanted therapy i would ....."

"No no no your misunderstanding my intention" Mason said stopping Holly mid-sentence " this is part of Gail's therapy, for me to help her I need the full story, as a doctor you know that I cannot discuss Gail's sessions with you, or yours with her, this will be between us.. I really believe that the two of you can salvage your relationship" 

Holly wiped a tear from her cheek " where do I begin?"


	8. Chapter 8

"Well i understand Gail was injured at work? Maybe you could start there"? 

Holly nodded " it's kinda when it all began,! when things started to fall apart," she swallowed " Gail was stabbed on a job, the knife penetrated through the right side of her stomach, she lost a lot of blood, I didn't think she was going to make it"

"That must have been scary for you"?

"Yes!" Holly sniffed " the person you love most in the world is hurt and in danger of losing their life and there's nothing you can do but wait, hope, pray.. Life stands still and you wonder if it will ever start up again"!

Mason began to take notes " well luckily she made it .. Recovery was slow i here? That must have been hard"? 

"To see her struggle? Yes! Gail isn't the kind of person to reply on people! She's stubborn and strong willed, she doesn't like to appear weak" Holly explained "A Peck thing... Anyways at the hospital she was a nightmare, she didn't take well to people pitying her, to many Doctors and nurses poking at her, I so arranged to take her home, I figured being with Sophie and I would be better for her",

"And was it"? 

Holly looked down at her hands rubbing where her rings once were " at first" she sniffed " at first she was happy to be home, Soph and i would sit on the bed with her, we would play cards, watch movies, that kinda stuff .. I took time off work to care for her, bathing her, helping her with her Physio,keeping her wound clean, that kinda stuff "

"And she was ok with that"? Mason asked not looking up from her note pad ..

Holly sighed " like I said Gail doesn't like relying on people, but she knew it was either me or a carer would have to come in,.. After a few weeks Gail began having nightmares, she would wake in the night calling out, sweating,crying" 

Mason looked up at the brunette... Gail hasn't mentioned the night mares .. " what did you do"? 

Holly shrugged " I .. I was there! I calmed her down, helped her cool off, held her, reassured her she was okay, Most nights I would lay awake just watching her sleep, scared to sleep myself incase she needed me,"

"So she was ok with physical contact"? 

Holly nodded " yeah! She would ask me to hold her,.. She likes her back being stroked so I did that to Sooth her" 

How long was she in recovery"? Mason asked .. 

"Mmmm! Three months maybe" Holly answered "then she was on desk duty for four weeks after "

"And the two of you were still good then"? 

Holly closed her eyes taking a deep breath "no"! .. We were doing ok for maybe two and a half months, it was all about getting her up and mobile, once she was ..I went back to work part time.. Her parents and brother helped with her needs while I was away from the house, one day I came home and her and Sophie were in the bed playing video games, I could hear them laughing and playing, it was great to hear her sounding happier, when I joined them it stopped, she became quiet telling Soph she was tired.. Once soph left the room she turned her back to me and went to sleep ... It happened more and more so I thought Maybe it was because I had left her, so I asked one night if she preferred me to be home a little longer, and she said she was ok and didn't need me to!

" what changed"? 

" I don't know! it was like the closer she was getting to healing and going back to work the more distant she was becoming .. By this time she was doing most of her care herself , the bathing and the getting dressed."

Mason wrote more notes down nodding as Holly spoke " Ok so Gail made a full recovery physically and went back to work? Once the four week desk period was over she was back to full duty"? 

"Yeah" Holly nodded " I worried she might over do it! But she seemed happy to be back,the nightmares were few and far between so I gathered she was getting back to her old self " 

"But she didn't"? 

Holly shook her head taking her glasses off to wipe her eyes " no!, she over did it a few times and would be in pain when she got home, naturally I voiced my concerns and told her she needed to slow down... She would tell me to stop mothering her and she wasn't child, she knew her limits... She came home often feeling drained and would crash before dinner "

"So her superiors didn't put limits on her workload"? 

"Doctor Mason, you've know Gail a while now, you know she doesn't do anything she doesn't want to and won't be told what to do" Holly sighed " Oliver shaw, her boss had told her many times she needs to take it easy, but just fell on deaf ears"! 

"Well Gail is nothing if not stubborn"Mason nodded " so she went back to work, jumped in feet first, work was back to normal"?

"Mm hmmm" Holly hummed sucking in her bottom lip " work was fine, her attitude to work was fine,she began to start picking Sophie up from school, after-school club's,friends houses.. it just seemed that anything that wasn't back to normal except with us,...I felt like somehow she was blaming me, or maybe taking out on me, I don't know. I mean they do that right? Take out there frustrations on the ones closest to them"?

Mason placed her pen down and looks at Holly." Yes, it's a proven fact that we do tend to hit out at the ones we love most .. why do you think it was you? Gail is close to her brother am I right? Why not him? Or work colleagues, why do you think it was you"? 

"You tell me"? Holly replied " I tried to lay off her, not fuss, not push, I just wanted her to know that I was there, and that I loved her.. But it just seemed to not be enough!... Each time I would see her playing with Soph or joking around with her brother, I thought "ok it's a good day," but then when it came to being alone with me her attitude changed .. She was pulling away from me more and more," 

Doctor Mason saw the pain in Holly, the Same pain Gail bared, it was obvious how deeply in love these two women were, and such a shame that they had fallen into such a dark space .. Doctor Mason wished she could just tell each of these women what the otter was thinking and feeling but knew it was against the rules ... 

"Gail tells me you left the family home? Why don't you tell me about that"? 

 

Holly's bottom lip trembled, this was the hardest part, she thought .. "It wasn't easy for me, to leave my home, my child, the women I love.. Ever since Sophie came to live with us, I have always been there to put her to bed, to read to her, check her homework," 

" I would imagine it was something you had fought with for Sometime before making the decision"? the therapist asked .. 

 

Holly puffed her cheeks out " you have no idea,"

"What broke the camels back"? 

"Well!.. I said before how Gail would want to be held and ... Once things began to improve she stopped asking, if I touched her she would tell me to stop fussing, that she was ok, I remember one night she was led on the bed and I ... Well I tried to get close to her" 

"Sex"? 

Holly blushed " no! well not really, I mean I just wanted some intimacy.. A kiss maybe, something, anything, I just wanted some.......

"Some"? 

Holly began to cry " I just wanted her .. I wanted to feel like she was still there.. I'm sorry" she apologised putting a tissue out her eyes .. 

"Don't be" Doctor Mason sympathised " crying is good for the soul " 

Holly couldn't stop as much as she wanted to " I can just see her, Being her, with everybody else,… And I guess part of me was jealous,.. "Anyways I didn't get it, she pulled away making up some excuse that she was hot and stuffy and was going to sleep on the couch.. After that line she barely slept in our room, Then Sophie noticed and asked why? Gail made some excuse and went back to sleeping in our room .. "Holly's tears and slowed down, the lump in her throat shrinking " I began to notice she would lock the bathroom door when she was in there,she would bath rather then shower.. 

"Why would She do that"? 

Holly shrugged " I don't know and I didn't ask .. I was afraid to upset her, I didn't want her to feel like I was pushing, ... You know I remember the morning before she was stabbed we we're running late for work, because she wouldn't let me get out of bed, Gail had a high sex drive, she likes to be kissed .. She was always touching me in some way or another .. Even when we would be in the car driving, she would hold my hand or place hers on my thigh, and to go from that to not even so much as a hand shake or eye contact. It was hard for me to deal with "... 

"Did you talk to her about how you felt"? 

Holly laughed " if only, by that time she barely spoke to me, If I tried she would pass it off as being tired, reminding me she had been off work a long time... I started to dread Sophie's bed times because I knew she would change once we were alone,"

 

Holly's voice cracked, reliving the last few months broke her, she blamed herself for letting it get so bad, for allowing Gail to slip away.. Maybe if she tried harder? 

"Would you say Gail knew What was happening ?"

Holly licked her bottom lip " I don't know! I think she wanted to believe things would just fall back into place, I think that she was dealing with her own demons, Gail is and has always been the kind of person to act now think later, she would do or say something in the moment and then later on think " oh actually maybe that wasn't such a good idea" the brunette shrugged .. 

"Pretend it isn't happening"? Mason offered

"Yeah I guess!" Holly agreed .. " she would uh.. Always make a big deal about us spending time together, after Soph came along it was all about her and helping her adjust to a new life with us, so Gail would have her brother, or her parents take Sophie for the night and we would just be together" Holly smiled " shopping, going to the movies, staying at home even, it was just so we could still fell like we were a couple you know"? ..

"Tell me about the run up to you leaving"? 

Holly sighed heavily " well over the next few weeks we begun to fight, which was new because we never fought" 

"Ever"? 

Holly shook her head " I mean we would have the odd bitch, I might moan about her mess or her not taking the trash out, but we just didn't fight.... Then all of a sudden it was constant, I would ask her something and she would snap at me" 

" can I have an example"? 

"Yeah! Um small things like I would say .. "Did you pay the gas bill, and her reply would be something like " what you think I'm incapable of paying a bill, do you look like I need my hand held" 

"I know Gail is Fluent on sarcasm but it isn't something generally aimed at you is it? 

Holly shook her head "never"! 

"Then what"? 

Holly cleared her throat " I asked her if we should try couples therapy and she exploded on me , told me we didn't need so stranger prying into our private life, asking questions about our sex life.. She point blank refused saying we didn't need it and we would be ok"

"Buy you knew different"?

"Of coarse! We were far from ok, but again I knew she would be pushed so I left it, I thought maybe if I tried a little harder, so one night I had Sophie stay out and I made Gail's favourite meal, I had this amazing bottle of wine, I thought maybe couples night might break the ice a little" 

"Good thinking" 

"No!" Holly laughed " it didn't happen, she said she would be home by seven,but she didn't show.. She came in around nine, smelling off booze.. When I explained the effort I put in she just shrugged and said " I should have said something .. I was done, I was broken and I couldn't take It anymore, I felt like I was sharing my home and my bed with a stranger and I couldn't cope.."

"Do you blame her"? 

Holly bowed her head giving herself a moment " part of me does, but mostly I blame myself" she whispered looking up at the doctor .. " I blame me! I stood by and watched my whole world slip through my hands, I should have fought harder, I should have pushed,I should of tried harder to get us help, instead I took the cowards way out and left" 

Mason frowned " Holly! you are not a coward, nor did you not do enough, Gail is going through things she can't control let alone you my dear, you are human and you and her have been through the worse thing imaginable ... I don't think it's fair to blame yourself " 

"Who do I blame then? Holly asked "her?"

"I think Gail does enough of that as it is" the Doctor stated .. 

"So you move out into your own place, sharing custody of Sophie?" 

"Yup" Holly answered popping the P .. " the fighting didn't stop though, if anything it go worse, Every Time we were in a room together , that was until Sophie told a friend of ours that she was afraid we would stop loving her like we did each other" 

"Wow, that must have hit home" 

"Mmmm" Holly agreed " for Gail and I .. That's when Gail decided to contact you,she said she needed to be fixed so she could keep her family.."

"Holly I saw Gail recently, she told me about the two of you having dinner together "

Holly shifted in her seat " so I'm guessing she also told you how I completely freaked her out and made her skin Crawl?" 

"You didn't do that Holly!" 

"No!?" Holly raised her eyebrows " you wasn't there,"

"No but I know how deeply upset Gail was over the events of that night" Mason stated 

Holly shook her head "she's not the only one"! 

"Let's talk about that"

Holly blew out the breath she was holding " can we not? It's still pretty raw for me"

" are you giving up"? 

Holly didn't answer right away, taking a moment to still her voice .. " I'll never give up on her.. I will always be there,how ever she needs me" 

" you're an incredible women Doctor Stewart and I can see why Gail is crazy about you" 

Holly bite hard on her lip wiping her eyes " she's the incredible one,.. Would you mind if we stopped now? I uh.. " she swallowed " I need um... I just can't " 

Doctor Mason closed her note pad " of coarse , and I want to thank you for taking the time out and for being so open with me Holly!... Maybe sometime in the future we can do this again? If you want to I mean!"

Holly stood to see the Doctor out " I might just do that" she smiled as they shook hands " thank you" 

"No! Thank you and I think this is really going to help Gail" 

Holly smiled " I hope so"....


	9. Chapter 9

Her therapy session weighted heavily on Holly's mind for the rest of the day, she wondered if she said to much,? If it really would help Gail?.. 

One thing was for certain Doctor Mason was as good as Gail said she was, if only you could bottle her up and take her once a day then no one would have to need therapy .. ..

 

"Knock knock" Gail smiled at the door of the lab..

"Gail? Hi"

"Sorry to stop by like this but ..."Gail stopped mid-sentence pulling Sophie into view ..  
Holly gasped jumping off her seat when she noticed the huge band aid on her daughters head " oh my god what happened"? 

Sophie ran into the brunettes arms " I hurt my head"   
Holly looked at Gail for answers " school called me, she fell in the playground and smacked he head, I uh.. I wanted to take her to the Hospital but she wouldn't go, she said she wanted you so......"

Holly took her daughters face in her hands " baby why wouldn't you want to go to the Hospital"? 

Sophie shook her head " I don't like them, people die when they go there "

"What!? No Honey lots of people go there for all different reasons" Holly explained 

Sophie wasn't having any of it " no my mother went to the hospital and died, and Mom was hurt and had to stay in hospital because she nearly died , I don't trust it" 

Gail and Holly glanced at each other then back to their daughter ..

"Baby! Listen to me" Holly lifted Sophie into the table and sat back in her chair " hundreds of people go to hospital every day, some are very sick, and yes.. Some do die.. But um, most people go there to get better, or they go there for little things like.. Bumped heads " she smiled " you don't have to be afraid ok"? 

 

" yeah I mean look" Gail smiled "I'm ok" 

Sophie nodded " I guess, but can you just fix me up"? She asked Holly ..

Holly kissed her cheek " sure, let me see"

Gail watched on as Holly cared for the child,gently removing the band aid and cleaning the wound, adding a little glue to keep it closed .. "Your so brave" Holly smiled ..

"Like Mom "? The child asked looking at Gail ..  
"Like mommy yeah" Holly agreed ..

Sophie looked at Gail " can I have some candy?.. I have been brave"!

Gail shook her head " what a way to milk it kid"   
Holly laughed pulling some change out of her pocket handing it to Sophie " go head"

Sophie examined the coins " can I get two"? 

Gail smiled shaking her head " you Tryna hustle us"?   
Sophie shrugged " I'm not sure what that means, but If it means I can get two candy bars then yes" 

Both Holly and Gail laughed " ok kid get two" Gail agreed "but! You only have one now and one later ok"? 

Sophie wasn't keen on that deal but knew better then to argue " yes Mama" 

Once Sophie skipped down the hall it left her parents alone ... Holly instantly deciding not to have any awkwardness " Gail? Look I just want to apologise for cutting you off at the house before! I know you wanted to talk but.. Well I really was tired!"

Gail shook her head "it's ok!"  
"No! No it's it not" Holly argued " I guess with Soph being there aswell it probably wasn't the best time or place... But uh" the doctor sighed biting her bottom lip " I would like to talk! Maybe if you're not busy tomorrow,? We could meet up on your lunch break or after shift"? 

"Yeah.. I wanna do that, I'm not working tomorrow so when ever your free" 

Holly nodded " ok good!"

"You wanna come by the house"? Gail asked 

" uh no.. I uh I thought maybe somewhere less.." Holly shook her head " maybe we could have coffee? You know that cafe you and Sophie usually go to for cake"? 

" lucies"? Gail frowned wondering why Holly would want to talk so public,,

"Yeah lucies" Holly nodded "shell we say one thirty"?

....... 

"Look who I found staking out the place "John the security man smiled at the door holding Sophie in her Arms.."

Sophie laughed showing off her two bars of candy .. 

"Are you behaving"? Gail asked 

"Of coarse" John smiled "Sophie is too" he laughed . John was a gentle man who had worked at the morgue longer then Holly had, he always had time for Sophie and would do magic tricks for her .. He was also a clever man and knew he had interrupted something ..  
"So if it's ok with you two ,Sophie and I are going to head into my office and watch the screens for people for you to arrest detective"?

"Sure" Gail smiled "make sure she doesn't eat both them candy bars,,,ones for later"

"No problem" John smiled sneaking Sophie one he had also brought her as they turned away ... 

" you know there isn't going to be one for later" Holly laughed .. 

"Yup! Gail agreed turning back to the doctor 

"So is that an ok time for you"? Holly asked ..

Gail would have preferred to meet more privately, but wasn't about to argue it " one thirty is cool with me" 

Holly smiled "ok so I'll see you then"? 

Gail nodded " sure.. I'll let you know how Soph's doing later"

"Tell her I said bye ok"? 

...... 

Gail left heading towards the exit looking for Sophie " ready to go squirt"?

"Oh! do we have too"? Sophie groaned she was Enjoying spending time with John, he let her wear his hat and move the controls around for the cctv ..

"Afraid so kid, when you're sent home from school it isn't to hang out with old guys playing security "

"Hey less of the old" John laughed " I still got it in me" he joked flexing his muscles ..

Gail laughed "sure you do, say goodbye Soph"!

"Bye John" Sophie sulked handing the tall man his hat back " thanks for the candy"

"What?" Gail asked 

John held his hands up in the air " wasn't me" 

"Mmmm, I'll watch you next time" Gail warned playfully .. "Laters old man" 

"Bye kids, be good" John waved .. 

..... 

Once in the car Gail turned to her daughter "so how many candy bars do you have left?

"One" Sophie smiled ..  
"Mmmm, and how many did you eat"? Gail asked   
"One" Sophie answered not looking at her mom ..

Gail tried to keep a straight face while she caught out her daughter .. "Hey Soph, you know why I'm a detective,?"

The child shook her head ..

"Well" Gail smiled "it's because I'm really good at catching people out, you know like bad guys will say stuff and I have to work out if they are lying or not,.. And I'm really really good at that" 

Sophie looked down at her lap "so what you're saying is, you know that I'm lying about the candy don't you"? 

Gail laughed loudly "uh yeah"

"Sorry" Sophie muttered ..

"Just don't tell mom ok?" Gail smiled stroking the child's braids " your secrets safe with me" 

Sophie grinned Turning on the radio.. Gail was the more lenient parent,her moto was " as long as Sophie's happy that's all that matters" that was until she was living alone with the girl .. She realised just how much Holly did, not just for Sophie either .. 

Holly was the worrier of the two .. She worried about Sophie's diet and would limit her intake of sugar and salt .. She would also limit fatty foods to the odd treat .. It was her who made sure Sophie's braided hair was maintained ..Holly always made sure bills were paid on time and the fridge was fully stocked.. Gail was pretty much her second child but Holly never complained .. In fact she like it that way, she loved taking care of her family and the home they had built .. 

They would joke that Gail took the man's role in the family, her jobs were things like , taking the cars to the garage, taking the trash on a Sunday night and making sure the security of their house was up to date... That was a must for her .. When they brought the house Gail had installed the finest security equipment, there was no expense spared when it came to keeping her family safe .. 

Holly never really understood why they needed four locks on their front door, their neighbourhood was one of the safest in the city, nothing more then the odd dog fouling on someone's front yard ever happened , but Gail liked to remind her that things can change very quickly and she one day might just appreciate her cautiousness .. 

 

Once her and Sophie had ate and settled down for the night Gail took out her phone to text Holly ..

Gail- hey just letting you know Sophie is ok, she hasn't complained of any pain ..

 

Holly smiled reading her text .. Gail was usually really poor at remembering things ..

Holly- that's good news, kiss her for me! X

......

 

Gail smiled leaning down to kiss her child's head..

"What was that for"? Sophie asked from the blondes lap   
"Mommy asked me to give it to you" Gail smiled ..

Sophie smiled sadly " will Mom ever come home"?   
"God I hope so Soph" Gail sighed heavily " we just to be patient"

"How long will it take you to get fixed?" Sophie asked worryingly "I mean will be take long"? 

Gail swallowed the lump in her throat " Soph? I want to lie to you,because I think you're old enough to understand," the blonde took a deep breath before blowing it out " sometimes when things happen to a person, it takes a long time for them to get over it! They have to adjust to changes in their lives and... " Gail paused for a moment trying to choose he'd words " and well sometimes while that happens they get angry. Mainly at themselves but also at others"

"Did you get angry at mommy?"

"I could never be angry at your mom Soph, I just forgot how great Mommy is! And how well she looks after us both" Gail smiled stroking her daughters hair .. 

"You could just say sorry" Sophie offered " I mean when I've done something bad,.. I just think about what I did and then apologise! .. I know Mommy will forgive you and come home" 

Gail wanted to cry,her heart broke for her daughter, part of her wished it was as easy as Sophie said, " I think that.. Things will work out the way they're meant to sweetheart... Bed time"? 

Sophie shook her head " can I sleep here with you tonight"? 

Gail watched how Sophie suddenly become very small in her bed, her eyes full sadness 

.... 

Of coarse you can" Gail smiled wrapping her arms around the girl " I think I need a bed buddy tonight too" 

....

Gail's palms were sweaty, her heart was racing,every time the door opened she felt like she was getting whiplash ' Holly was late, ok four minutes late, but in Gail's eyes it meant she might have changed her mind and didn't want to see or speak to her.. Checking her phone for the thousandth time, Gail wondered if she should call.. Text maybe? 

"Would you like another coffee"? The waitress smiled ..

Gail looks down at her now cold coffee "uh "she shrugged " yeah sure why not"? 

Gail decided she would drink her refill and if Holly didn't show then she would leave .. 

The waitress returned with a fresh mug and a muffin ..

"I didn't order this" Gail informed the women ..  
"I know" the older women smiled " call it a gift"   
Gail smiled looking at the muffin " thank you" 

" I hope your not going to eat that" came a voice behind her.. Gail spun around to be met with a warm smile from Holly ..

"I didn't order it" she stuttered " I think the waitress felt bad for me,"

Holly took a seat opposite the blonde "why would she feel bad for you"? 

Gail shrugged "well I had the look of a kicked puppy when I thought you stood me up" she smiled "you're late"!

Holly smiled raisin her finger at the waitress who had a smile of her face as she watched Holly take her seat .. 

"Hey darling what can I get you"? 

"Hi" Holly smiled "I'll just have a green tea please"!?  
Gail screwed her face up like she always did when Holly drank green tea .. Her attitude was, if it didn't come out of a bag, and didn't have milk and sugar added to it, then it wasn't tea.. 

"Don't give me that look" Holly smiled " it's good for you"! 

"I'll take your word for it!" Gail smiled .. 

"How's Sophie!?"

Gail sipped her coffee "she's good! No lasting effect from the candy" ..

Holly laughed " mmmm and the bump"?   
"It's fine" Gail nodded .. The waitress returned with Holly's tea and another muffin 

"Can't give to one without the other" she winked . 

Holly smiled "thank you"! 

"Free cake? Think I'll come here more often" Gail grinned as she pulled the paper from her muffin to take a bite .. 

"So I had a visitor at work" Holly stated overseeing Gail's enthusiasm for the sugary treat .. 

Gail nodded fiddling with her mug..

"But you knew that right?" Holly smiled 

"She might have mentioned it" Gail muttered.. "Did it help"? She asked a little while after .

Holly pinched her lips together " it was um... Helpful"  
Gail nodded,she knew how Doctor Mason counselled and how easy it was to talk when in her company.. 

" I think she helps you take a look from outside the box" Holly added fiddling with her mug " I realised some stuff I hadn't before"

Gail nodded "like"?   
Holly sighed pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose a little " like .. "The brunette shook her head " like sometimes things happen and people can't control it, prevent it or stop it,"

"I just want you to know it wasn't my idea for her to come see you" Gail said "she said it would help her to help me if she could get it from both sides, you know?" 

"I understand that" Holly nodded "I think it's good! I think that ..or I hope that it helps, Gail? We've both said and done things that we shouldn't have, I know I defiantly have, and talking to Doctor Mason has helped me except that I can't fix you!.., I blamed myself for not doing enough or pushing you to open up, I blamed you! .. I blamed you for pushing me away, for distancing yourself, I blamed you for my moving out" 

Gail's head lowered she blamed herself for Holly leaving too! 

" but it wasn't your fault" Holly continued " it wasn't! I've learnt that you can't control what ever it is you're going through, and I know you hate it, I know you hate being weak,needy, I know that if you could change it you would" 

Gail's head lifted slowly to look at Holly " I blame me!"

Holly shook her head "Gail"?   
"I do" Gail shrugged " I blame myself for climbing that tree Holly! I should of listened when you asked for therapy, but I didn't, Because I was selfish and didn't want to admit we had a problem, so.. I am to blame" 

Holly was surprised at Gail's openness,  
seeing Gail talk freely like this was a huge step for the blonde and Holly knew it 

" I think that we both have our part to play Gail, what we do to change it is what matters" Holly smiled pushing her muffin towards Gail..   
Gail smiled as she turned the plate to inspected the muffin " do you want to change it?" The blonde asked quietly .. Preying she wasn't about to get some bad news..

Holly took a second before she answered " I don't want to feel like this forever! I'm so tired of hurting Gail, of missing you and Soph "  
Gail's eyes filled with sorrow, Holly's pain rocked her to the core, "I'm sorry" 

Holly Shook her head swallowing the lump in her throat " no sorries, you can't keep beating yourself up" 

"Then who can I beat up? Gail snapped "who can I blame if not myself?, I've destroyed our family,our lives,our whole world Holly, .. Gail's bottom lip began to tremble " I mean you're learning to live with out me for God sakes" 

Holly gasped, she knew that moment of anger was going to haunt her, she knew that would cut Gail deep as soon as she said it

"Gail!"

"I don't blame you" Gail laughed " I mean Lisa was right all those years ago, you are way to good for me, i don't deserve you, I never have!"

Holly reached out taking Gail's hand "hey! Stop that "she warned " I don't want you talking like that Gail, ever!.. Without removing her hand Holly sighed " listen I was so hurt and embarrassed about what happened that night that I lashed out, I wanted to hurt you back,! I didn't mean what I said Gail" the brunette smiled removing her hand placing it back around her mug ..

" it just came out and when I thought about it , I realised that was not what I meant "she explained " part of me feels like I need to prepare myself for the fact you might never come home to me Gail, and as much as I don't want to believe it, as much as I want to keep positive,part of me can't!"

Gail's heart split into two, she's fully aware of the fact they are in public so she quickly wipes her eyes " I didn't leave you" she whispers " not in heart, I don't want to think about life without you nerd, I won't!" 

Holly smiled behind her tears " I don't know if we have a choice" 

Gail shook her head biting her bottom lip " Mason is helping me, I'm almost there Hol, I almost get it.. I can't give up on us, and I'll never get use to living Without you, if I don't have you I have nothing because you are my life, I'm only better because of you, I'm nicer, people actually like me now,I like me now! and that's because you make me whole and I'm not .. "Gail shook her head " I'm not letting go of this with out a fight"

 

Holly took a huge breath " I want to fight!" She swallowed " I just don't know how!"

Gail smiled sadly placing her open hand across the table " we just don't let go" she whispered moving her fingers as if to ask for Holly's.. Holly placed her hand into the blondes and sneezed it tight.. Gail smiled stroking her thumb over the brunettes hand " we just don't let go" she repeated 

 

A/N just to say to the person who asked if it can fanfic this story? I will when I have a chance to sit on the computer.. I do most of the writing on my iPhone.. But it will go on soon x


	10. Chapter 10

Over the next few days Gail found herself texting Holly... Random thinks like she use too.. How the idiot at the deli put tomatoes in her sandwich when she purposely told him not too.. Or things Sophie had said and done, which she knew would make Holly smile.. 

Today was different for her.. Today she wanted to see the brunette .. She had been working on Holly's days to have Sophie so she missed her .. 

"Lunch"? 

Holly and Lucy looked up from the desk in the lab " Gail" 

"You're busy! I'll leave you too it, sorry" 

"No it's fine" Lucy smiled " I can take over from here if you two want to have lunch" 

Holly looked at her intern then back to Gail .. 

Gail looked at Lucy too.. Grateful.. She hadn't been exactly friendly to the younger women in the past " thank you" she said sincerely.. "So"? 

Holly washed her hands and removed her lab coat " it will have to be quick, we've got loads to do" she smiled ..

Gail swiped her hand out as she if to say lead the way .. As Holly walked past her she turned back to Lucy " thanks" 

Lucy nodded with a smile .. She could see how in love the two were and how sad the situation is ...

"Wanna sit in the shade"? Holly asked..  
"With this complexion? Of coarse " Gail laughed .. 

Holly took a seat at the table under the tree near her office window while Gail opted to seat on the table .. " you want a water? She asked pulling two bottles from her jacket .. 

"Sure" Holly smiled looking into the bag Gail had brought with her .. " mustard?" She frowned " you know it gives you heart burn "

Gail smiled she loved how Holly knew every inch of her " I know but I fancied it" 

Holly nodded " your be searching the medical cabinet later" she joked causing Gail to laugh " probably"

" so I was wondering if I could have Sophie for the whole weekend " Holly asked " my parents are coming into town and they want to spoil her" 

Gail smiled sadly . When Holly's parents came to visit, they would prepare the spare room and Holly's dad would always fire up the Bqq no matter the weather .. Gail loved the Stewart's like they were her own parents .. And they loved her .. Holly's mom had called Gail a few times to see how she was! it meant a lot to the blonde that although she was the cause of their daughters pain they didn't blame her for it .. 

"Of coarse" Gail nodded "you don't even have to ask.. So when are they coming"? 

Holly swallowed the food in her mouth " Thursday night I think"! 

"Wait" Gail frowned " where are they going to sleep? I mean you place is small"? 

"Hotel" holly answers sipping her water..

"No! No they can't do that" Gail argued " you can't expect them to come here and pay out for a hotel Holly"

"Honey! they don't mind" 

"I do!" Gail moaned " look I'm working all weekend anyways so why don't you all just stay at the house?"

"No!" Holly shook her head " no we can't do that, they'll be fine"

"Hol"? 

Holly sighed " I can't stay there Gail! Not when things are the way they are... I don't want to sleep in our bed alone, our pictures all over the place .. Our memories?"

Gail sighed heavily suddenly losing her appetite " I'm sorry.. I didn't think"

"Don't be sorry" Holly smiled taking the cops hand in hers " when I do finally get to sleep in my own bed again .. I want it to be with you .... Ok?" 

Gail couldn't shake the guilt off but having Holly hold her hand helped " ok" she said softly .. 

Holly could see Gail's struggle and wanted to take it away " hey! maybe you could come for dinner one night.. They would love to see you"? 

"I don't know" Gail worried " I mean wouldn't that be weird? For you? Soph!? Them"? 

"Gail! We've had dinner together with Soph before and she loved it .. And my parents love you.. They've already asked if you'll be around"

"They have"? Gail asked surprised   
"Yeah" Holly asked " of coarse they have" 

"I would like to see them" Gail smiled taking a bite of her ham and mustard sandwich ..

"Ok well how about we come to the house on Sunday then?" Holly asked " I mean dads not thrilled I don't have a Bqq" the brunette laughed .. 

Gail smiled sadly.. Here's Holly trying to make her feel better when all along she's hurting herself ... " I'll but meat" 

Holly laughed lifting her hand to wipe Gail's chin of the mustard that had fell there ... 

Gail's breath hitched at the touch causing Holly to pull away " sorry" 

Gail grabbed Holly's hand "don't be" she whispered leaning down to place a small kiss on Holly's cheek " I don't want you to be afraid to touch me" 

"It's easier said then do" Holly swallowed feeling nervous at Gail being so close .. 

Gail closed the gap between them and gently placed her lips on Holly's " I love you"

Holly smiled beneath Gail's lips " I love you" 

That was all Gail needed to hear to heat up the kiss a little .. She opened her mouth taking Holly's bottom lip between hers .. She could feel The brunette shaking,so gently placed her hands on her face .. "Do be afraid" she smiled kissing her again .. 

Holly braved it and grabbed at Gail's waist .it felt good to touch the blonde .. Good to feel her lips moving against her own .. But Holly knew not to take it to far .. If Gail was to panic again she didn't think she could cope with that .. Pulling away slowly she smiled .. 

"I should get back to work"

"Me too" Gail agreed jumping off the table .. " can I walk you?" She asked holding out her hand ..

Holly looked the cops hand for a moment before taking it .. If Gail was trying then so should She .. As she placed her hand into the blonde's .. Gail laughed and begun to swing the both.. " back to your nerd work lunchbox " .. 

Holly blushed as they walked . John had tilted his hat with a smiled as they walked past his desk " ladies" 

"Old man" Gail teased ..where as Holly just waved .. 

"There you go .. Back in one piece" she said to Lucy who was still working in the lab ..

"Good lunch?" She asked ..

"Yeah" Holly smiled biting her bottom lip..

"Thanks" Holly smiled nudging Gail ..

"You're welcome.. I gotta go" she nodded placing another small kiss on Holly's cheek .. " see ya nerd" 

"Bye" Holly waved watching as Gail strolled out of the morgue .. 

"You ok!?" Lucy asked 

Holly turned to the intern puffing out her cheeks " I'm not sure.. I mean yes! I'm ok but... I think Gail and I have just turned a corner.."

" that's good though right"? Lucy smiled .. 

" I think so" .... 

...... 

Gail made sure she left work early Thursday .. If Sophie was going to be with Holly all weekend she wanted some time with her .. 

Picking her up from school, the headed out for dinner to Sophie's favourite burger place   
.. Gail let the child have a huge dessert on the condition she doesn't tell Holly .. 

"Mom would go crazy if she saw the size of these ice creams Sophie" the cop laughed 

"Well I'm not going to tell her" Sophie smiled with ice cream dripping down her chin .. 

"So you looking forward to seeing Gran and Grandpa"? 

Sophie nodded enthusiastically "yeah I've really missed them.. I can't wait to see what they've brought me" 

Gail gasped " Soph! You shouldn't expect gifts everytime they come"!

"I don't.. But they do bring me stuff" the child smiled " and that's because I'm the only grandchild they have to spoil, so who am I to take that away from them"? 

Gail laughed in amazement.. How she didn't actually give birth to this kid she would never know .. " kid you have some front you know that? How I'm not your birth mom I'll never know" ..

" Mom says that all the time" the girl said bouncing in her chair licking her spoon " she says I'm so much like you .. She doesn't know how we're not blood related" 

Gail smiled .. It made her happy knowing Sophie had her ballsy traits .. It just meant that she could take care of herself when she's older .. Let know one walk all over her ..   
"Well I like it that you're my kid " Gail smiled wiping the child's mouth with s napkin " but I have to cut you off where this ice creams concerned .. You'll be bouncing off the walls by the time we get home"

"I'm done" Sophie smiled rubbing her belly " I think I'm full of ice cream" she giggled.. 

"Well just don't melt in the car " Gail joked grabbing their coats as they head outside . 

"It's cold.. Put your coat on" 

"I'm not cold" Sophie stated skippin to the car .. "Mom? Can we watch a film in your bed. When we get home? 

"I'd like that" Gail smiled starting the car .. 

Sophie was doing ok lately, and Gail knew it was because her and Holly had stopped the fighting .. Sophie was seeing happier mommies and in turn that made her happier and that's what was important .. 

... 

"So what shell we watch"? 

"What ever you want baby" Gail said through a mouthful off tooth paste " just nothing to Disney ok? I have to work with Aunt Chloe tomorrow and that's all the Disney princess I need for like a month.. 

Sophie shook her head "I love Aung Chloe.. We have the best time when she babysits me.. We sing and dance and she lefts me do her hair any way I want " 

Gail couldn't think of anything worse " well that's probably because mentally you're the same age" 

Sophie laughed climbing into Gail's big bed " your mean mom" 

"Am not.." Gail protests tickling the girl .. "So what are we watching?"

"Annie" Sophie grinned ..  
"Old or new"? Gail asked ..

"Old" Sophie tutted 

"Wicked " Gail grinned cuddling into her daughter .. 

...... 

 

"Mom I wish I could tell you more,I just don't know right now" Holly sighed holding her glass up for her dad to refill . "Thanks"

"I just don't get it my darling" Holly's mom frowned " you two are the best couple I know.. So loving and attentive towards each other .. .. And now this, I mean where did it come from"? 

"Mom! Gail's having her own personal struggles and no one can fix that other then her.. She has a great Therapist and..

"A therapist? Holly's mom gasped " oh for god sakes .. They are just people who get paid to be other people's business "

"Katie"! George Stewart warned .. 

"It's helping mom.. I know you're not a fan of that kinda stuff but it works" Holly protested " Gail's getting better, granted its a slow process but it is getting better"

Katie sighed " It just hurts me to see you both in such a sad place .. And you're right! I don't like the idea of someone else getting involved.. Do you know how many times daddy and I came to divorce over the years" 

"What? When? " Holly frowned .. 

" you were about twelve I think" George answered " the business wasn't doing to well and we got in to trouble, we almost lost the house" 

"How did I not know this"? Holly asked upset..

Katie took her daughters hand " because it was between your dad and I.. It wasn't something you needed to worry about, but what matters is .. We worked it out, the business picked up and we worked together to rebuild what we lost.. We stuck together Honey! because what we had was worth fighting for.. You have to hold on to the reasons why you fell in love in the first place and don't let go"

"I'm trying mom .. We're trying, I'm slowly seeing the Gail I use to know.. We talked the other day and have been texting" 

"Texting?" Katie rolled her eyes "what ever happened to good old fashioned talking"?

"Mom" Holly moaned " we have talked .. I've even spoke to Gail's therapist.. And.. Gail brought me lunch on Tuesday and we..." The brunette blushed into her glass as she sipped her wine " we kissed, she kissed me"..

"Well that's progress sweetheart " George smiled squeezing Holly's hand..

"It is" Holly agreed "but I'm not reading to much into it .. I just want to let Gail go at her own pace.. And she's invited us over Sunday so we can all spend some time together.. Fire up the bbq? She grinned at her dad .

" now your talking" the man smiled " I'll look forward to it" 

Katie nodded " so do we get to wait till then to see that grandbaby of ours"? 

"Nope! I'm picking her up tomorrow from school, Gail's working so we have her all weekend"

"Good" Katie clapped "I've missed her, I've missed you all,"

Holly smiled .. She was thankful her parents didn't butt in where her and Gail was concerned .. And glad they still loved the blonde like they always did.. 

... 

Once Holly's parents left she took a bath and got into bed to watch tv .. Her mind wasn't really on the programme or so on what he mom had said .. How could she not have known her parents almost broke up?

.... 

H - so my mom tells me tonight that her and my dad almost divorced when I was twelve! 

G- oh wow! And you didn't know? 

H- nope! I had no idea, I mean how did I not know? 

G- well they obviously hid it better then us huh? 

H- I guess so... You and Soph OK ? 

G- yeah we just watching tv in bed.. You ok?

H- apart from the parental divorce thing yeah.. I'm watching tv too... 

G- wish you could watch with us instead of on your own .. 

 

Holly read and re-read that message .. Gail really was warming towards her again .. Every inch of the brunette had to force herself not to reply with what she really wanted to say .. What she wanted to say was 

.. "Can she come over and watch to in bed too?   
Instead she opted for a less needy reply .. 

H- one day :) .. Night guys love you both X 

G- we love you x 

Gail led smiling at her phone ..  
"Are you even watching?" Sophie moaned 

"What? Yeah .. Yeah I am.. That was just mommy saying good night" 

Sophie smiled " I miss mom"

"Me too kid... Me too,! but you get to spend all weekend with her and the oldies and on Sunday you'll all come here for a bbq.."

"And your be here"? 

"Yeah! I wouldn't miss grandpas spicy chicken for nothing in the world " the blonde giggled ., " yummy " 

" mommy? Can I help"? Sophie asked nervously ..  
"Grandpa? Sure" Gail shrugged .. 

Sophie moved closer to the blonde wrapping her Arm around her waist . "No not grandpa! I mean you? .. You said you need fixing and I was thinking, if you can't do it and mommy can't then maybe I could? .. You know like when my bike broke and we had to get uncle Steve to fix it "

Gail's eyes welled up, he'd daughter never ceased to Amaze her .. Wrapping her arms tightly around the girl Gail smiled ..

You already help me Sophie, just by being you" 

Sophie frowned " really?" 

"Yup! And so does mommy, but right now I just have to do this myself. And when I finally do, our lives are gonna go back to how they use to be,"

"And mom will be home?" Sophie asked excited ..  
"Yeah .. She will! I promise you I won't give up ok?"

Sophie grinned " I won't either then.. And I bet mommy won't either.. Plus one add one forever right?"

Gail laughs through her tears " plus one add one forever yes ..always" 

Sophie lay back on her mothers stomach watching her film .. Gail could feel her hand resting on her scar as her pyjama top rode up slightly from Sophie's fidgeting .. Her first thought was to move the girl, hide what she hated most away .. Hide the constant reminded of what she's lost .. But she didn't .. She allowed Sophie to remain comfortable and content .. 

"Does it hurt Ma"? Came a small voice   
Gail knew what she meant so didn't bother to ask what she was taking about..

"Not anymore"   
Sophie moved her fingers a little closer .. " can I see it"? 

Gail's heart began to race a million beats a second " why? Why would you want to"?

Sophie sat up to look at her mother " because! I never have"

"Soph mommy isn't comfortable with having it and showing it off just doesn't make me feel good about myself" Gail explained 

"Ok well how about I show you mine and they you can show me yours"? Sophie asked "because I don't like mine either, so we can help each other to not be afraid of it anymore"

Gail was gob smacked at how mature this girl was .. How gently and warm she was .. Blatant traits from Holly of coarse .. 

"You have a scar you hate"? Gail asked wondering how she doesn't know this?

"Mmmmhm! And I'll show you if you can be brave enough to show me"? 

Gail nodded .. Apart from Holly, Sophie was the only person she felt she could be herself with . And maybe Sophie was a huge step in her recovery and an even bigger step to getting her life back .. 

"Ok" Sophie jumped up on to her feet lifting her night dress to reveal a small white scar on her hip .. " this was from when I was four and my mothers boyfriend spanked me with his belt, the Buckle got me, see?"

Gail's heart broke in to pieces .. How could anyone do such a thing to another human let alone a child " oh my god Soph" 

" it use to make me sad but it doesn't anymore" the Child smiled .. 

Gail leaned forward wrapping the small girl up in her arms, holding her tightly " baby I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" 

"It's ok mom, I don't get sad anymore," Sophie said pulling away slightly " it was ages ago and now I'm happy I don't feel sad about it" 

Gail had a million questions about what had happened to bed daughter but didn't want to bring up her past.. Especially such a dramatic part of it .., "you know that was wrong right? That no one is allowed to hurt you in any way"? 

"Oh I know!" The girl smiled " when I told my mother she threw all this clothes outside and called the police on him.. She kicked his butt too"   
"Go trina"! Gail cheered high fived the girl "I would kick his butt too"

" my mother said that sometimes bad people do bad things to good people, but we can't let them win.. We have to smile and be the best people we can be " 

Gail smiled stroking the girls face " I think your mother was a very clever women and I know she looks over you with the biggest smile on her face, because you my girl are awesome, and I love you very much" 

Sophie wiped Gail's fallen tear off her cheek before smiling " and I know she is happy I have two wonderful moms to look after me and I love you too" 

Gail hugged the girl again .. She smelt of Holly which was unusual " honey? Why do you smell of mommy"? 

"I might have used her shower gel this morning, it makes me feel like she's here "

Gail couldn't hold back anymore .. Her tears fell and she didn't try to hide them " I'm gonna make it better for you Soph .. I promise " 

"I know" Sophie replied confidently " so can I see yours now"? 

Gail took a deep breath "Soph i don't know" 

"Don't be afraid,I won't hurt you" Sophie smiled ..   
Gail smiled lying on her back closing her eyes .. She slowly lifted her top to reveal her scar ..   
As she lay still she felt Sophie gently trace the scar .. It made her feel sick, made her want to run but she knew she couldn't do that to her brave little girl.. 

"It's not so bad" Sophie spoke   
Gail opened her eyes looking down at her daughter .. "It's horrible" 

Sophie shook her head " it's not! .. It's not very big, I thought it would be bigger... I bet if your skin was darker, you wouldn't even see it" 

Gail looked down at where Sophie's fingers were .. She was right, it was smaller then even she remembered .. It wasn't red and angry looking anymore and the surgeon had done a good job of stitching it up .. It was perfectly straight and barely visible.. More like raised skin then the horrible scar it once was ... 

"Still kinda beautiful though" Sophie smiled pulling Gail's top back down .. "Can we watch this film now"? 

Gail Laughed at the girl.. That was why she loved kids .. They got over things pretty quickly and saw things for what they were.. " I love you Soph"

" I know! But do you love me enough to make me hot chocolate and bring it to bed for me? 

Gail shook her head " kid you are a hustler, but yeah I do so I will" 

"Still don't know what that means" Sophie shrugged ..   
"It means your amazing and I would do anything .. With in reason for you" Gail smiled kissing the forehead of the girl " one hot chocolate coming up " 

As she waits for the kettle to boil her mind drifts to what had just happened .. She let someone in . She shared her biggest fear .. She wasn't afraid to be vulnerable.. If she could do that with Sophie then she could defiantly do it with Holly right?


	11. Chapter 11

"So tell me what's been happening" Doctor mason asked " you missed our last appointment!"

Gail nodded, her body language seemed more relaxed then normal " I know! I'm sorry! I had lunch with Holly instead" she smiled.

"Oh" Mason nodded writing notes as usual " how was that"? 

Gail bit her lip thinking back with a warm glow to her cheeks " we kissed! And we've been talking and texting and I'm feeling more .... I don't know" she shrugged " more happier"

For the first time in their seasons Doctor Mason put down her note pad " that's great Gail, in fact that's more then great"

Nodding Gail smiled " her parents are visiting, Sophie's going to be spending the whole weekend over at her place with them... And on Sunday their all coming over to the house for dinner" 

"Family time! That's important, how is your relationship with Holly's parents"? 

"Great!" Gail nodded " they've never shut me out or had a bad word to say about me, her mom checks in now and again with me too"

Mason nodded picking up her pen " so you've been spending time with Holly and things have moved forward, you mentioned a kiss?.. How did that make you feel" 

Gail didn't answer right away, she silently thought the question over " human! For the first time in so long, I felt real... I wasn't afraid of her touching me, I wanted her to touch me," Gail bit down on her lip a little hard " she was afraid at first " the blonde continued. " suddenly her feels are really coming into effect for me, I mean I've always cared and worried about her though out all of this but."....   
Gail sighed tilting her head back " I see it more now, her eyes are dark and sad. Her hands shake,she plays with her glasses more, she does that when she's nervous... Her hesitation to be close to me.. And I know .. I know it's my fault because I panicked, so I know she's weary, but finally I'm starting to notice her again and it's hard to see.."

Doctor Mason sighed " Gail my advice for you would be to stop! .. Just stop looking to hard,if the two of you are moving slowly forward then you need to start concentrating on changing the things you've been seeing, the more you work for each other, the more you'll see her eyes start to sparkle again... Have you thought about adding some romance!?"

Gail frowned "romance? It's been months and I've only just worked up the courage to kiss her without having a melt down"

"I don't mean intimacy Gail" Mason laughed " I mean maybe send her flowers at work? Or leave little notes for her,? Make her a mix tape? a lot of my clients have done this.. They add songs that kind of speak for them"!

"Mix tape"? Gail frowned " Doc! I think you've known me long enough to know I'm not a sap," 

"Yes I know you well Gail! And I've found you to be closed off, sometimes cold,abrupt and all of the time rude .the Doc laughed.

" But none of that is you Gail!... You are a different women To who I met all those years ago!.. That night you came to my house? I saw a women who was desperate to get her family back, who aches to have the women she loves back in her life ."

Gail smiled weakly "so in order to do that I have to be a sap"? 

"Yes" Mason laughed " it will bring some laughter and fun to your healing" 

"What kinda songs would I add?" Gail asks nervously   
The Doctor shrugged " I don't know, songs that mean something to you? To her?...Songs that can maybe give her an insight into your own feelings,cheesy songs that may make her laugh even"

"Huh" Gail choked " we'll have you ever heard of a song titled " I'm sorry I'm a complete asshole" 

Mason rolled her eyes " I'm not saying you have to make the tape Gail! I'm saying it's an option,as are notes and flowers" 

 

Gail tapped her feet whist she thought " I'll think about it, anyways I wanted to tell you something! Something that I think it a big deal"

"Go on" 

"So Sophie and I were led in bed watching a movie and she asked to see my scar"

As usual Mason stayed silent leaning Gail to Continue ..

"Before she asked,she was led on me stroking my stomach.. I could feel her fingers begin to trace my scar and then she asked .. Every part of me wanted to jump up and move away.. Tell her to stop!.. The longer I led there, the more I was ..more afraid of hurting her feelings" 

"So you let her"? 

Gail took a deep breath in " Sophie has a scar on her hip, she said her moms boyfriend spanked her with a belt,and if I show her mine she would show me hers, .. My heart broke.. How can someone do that to another human being.. Let alone a child..? There was on option for me, I had to show her.. "

"Well I'm very sorry to hear about Sophie, that must have been hard for her, but I think it's great that you have something you can share!" Mason said writing her notes " tell me how it went"? 

Gail thought back to the night before " part of me scared, she was feeling along it, I could feel her eyes on me!... Then it over," the blonde smiled .. "She said it wasn't as bad as she thought and can barely see it, then wanted to restart the film" 

 

Mason smiled "that's the beauty of children Gail!.. They except things pretty easily... Do you think it's helped? .. You know with maybe allowing Holly to get close to you like Sophie did"? The Doctor asked carefully .. 

 

"I hope so" Gail's seriously "but right now I'm just going to look forward to spending time with my family on Sunday and I might just take your advice" 

 

...... 

"Sophieeeeee" Holly's mom called out arms open wide for her granddaughter to run into..  
"Ooooooh I've missed you" she fussed kissing the girl in her arms " you've got so big"   
Sophie laughed wiping her face " gross grandma,"   
"Sorry baby I can't help it, I've missed you"   
"I missed you too" the girl smiled "where's grandpa"?  
"Oh grandpas having a lay down honey, I think I've tired him out dragging him around the shops"

Sophie's eyes widened "did.. Did you get me anything"?

"Soph" Gail warned   
Kate Stewart smiled the the blonde " of coarse we did, go look in your room" 

Sophie ran off leaving Gail with Kate ..

"How are you Gail?"  
Gail bit her bottom lip" I'm doing ok, so where's hols"? 

Holly had left a message for Gail asking her to drop Sophie off because she was running late.. 

" she's still at work, some last minute case or something! You know what she's like" ?

Gail nodded "workaholic" 

"You got time for tea? I miss you too you know?" 

Gail smiled it meant a lot to her that the women in front of her still cared., " I'd love to but I'm actually on the clock"

"Holly's not the only workaholic huh"? Kate teased..   
"Gotta pay the bills" Gail laughed " I'll see you Sunday though right"? 

Kate took the blonde into her arms, kissing her on her temple " you certainly will Honey"

Gail took the women's scent in for a moment before squeezing her back " it's good to see you Kate" 

"You too Gail, you stay safe out there" 

Gail nodded with a smile " I'll see ya, say bye to Soph and hi to George for me" 

 

Gail headed back to the station feeling much happier then she had in a long time, Doctor Masons advice ran through her mind! Would a little romance really work for her and Holly? Does Gail even know how to be sappy?  
As she sat at her desk she began jotting down ideas, each one didn't feel right to her, she was never overly soft with the pathologist. Her idea of romance was dinner and an early night! Once in a blue moon she would run the brunette a bath with candles and so on, but generally the romantic stuff was Holly's domain .. 

Throwing yet another screwed up piece of paper in the trash,she sighed heavily..

"What's this!" Chloe asked picking up the stray Piece of paper that didn't make it to the trash can ..

"Nothing" Gail panicked reaching out "give it to me"   
Chloe laughed lifting her hand in the air " ah uh, you threw it away" 

"Chloe I'm warning you! hand it back" 

Chloe stood up opening the paper " awwww Gail this is really cute"   
"Shut up and give " Gail grabbed the paper " ..it back! And I swear Chloe, you breath a word of this to your dorky friends and I will kill you" 

Chloe smiled drawing a cross over her heart " I won't! I promise, I do think it's great though! I mean everyone likes a little romance right"? 

Gail rolled her eyes " yeah except I'm really bad at it and have no idea what to do!"

"Want some help"? The small red head offered..   
Gail watched her for a moment before thinking about it " well you can't be any worse then me"   
"Yes" Chloe fist pumped " oh my god this is gonna be so much fun"   
"Wait wait wait" Gail sang waving her hand " let's not get carried away princess, we're not planning a wedding here, I just need some help with ideas" 

"Yeah of coarse, nothing over the top! I get it" Chloe grinned " so do you want me to come over tonight and help you make a mix tape? I mean I've made a few over the years, I'm pretty good at it" 

Gail sighed heavily placing her head on the desk" why do I feel like I'm gonna regret this"? She sulked .. 

Chloe clapped " cmon it's gonna be fun, I'll bring food and wine" 

"Ok" Gail agreed lifting her head up at the offer of alcohol " but bring tequila, I have a feeling it's gonna be one of those nights" 

..... 

 

Holly's dad cooked up a storm in her small kitchen, whist Sophie and her grandma set the table .. " when's momma gonna be home?"   
"Soon darling" Kate smiled " she just has some things to finish up at work so we can spend the whole weekend together" 

Sophie grinned with a nod " yeah I'm excited about Sunday, I can't wait for grandpa to fire up the bbq and home" 

"That's right sweetheart "Mr Stewart agreed kissing his granddaughters head ..

"And we'll be to together like we use to" Sophie smoked skipping off into the living space ..

Kate sighed " I just hope for her sake Holly and Gail can work through this, can you imagine what it well do to her if they don't make it"?   
George Stewart placed his arm around his wife's shoulder kissing her on her temple " let's not think about it! We just have to let them work it out "

"What if they can't"? Kate asked sadly  
" Gail isn't a quitter, whatever she's going through, she will come out fighting, it's in her blood.." The tall man smiled " and Holly is way to stubborn to let go" 

"I hope your right George.. I really do" 

"Hey I'm home" Holly called as she opened the door   
"Finally" Sophie said wrapping her arms around the brunette " I'm wasting away here"

Holly and her parents laughed "wasting away huh?"   
"Yeah, I haven't eaten since lunch" Sophie moaned ..

"Kid you spend way to much time with your mom Gail " George laughed picking the child up " cmon give mom a minute to get in the door and help me dish up"

"Was Gail ok about bringing Sophie over" Holly asked her mom ..  
"She was fine,she only stayed for a minute, she said she had to get back to work" 

"Yeah I felt bad about asking her, I know she's busy" 

"She didn't mind honey" Kate assured her daughter " it was nice to see her, she looks great" 

Holly smiled "yeah she does... So something smells good"!

"Dads made chilli" Kate smiled " with a little help from Soph"she laughed 

"Dipping the spoon in"? Holly asked   
"Yup" Kate laughed again " your fathers certainly right about her having Gail's appetite"   
Holly nodded laughing under her breath " I'm just gonna shower and I'll be down" 

"Noooo momma I'm hungry!" Soph groaned " can't you shower after"?  
"Honey I'm sure you can hold out for ten minutes" Kate said   
"No it's ok" Holly said shaking her head " I'll go after,"   
Sophie cheered pulling a chair out for her mom "thank you" 

The Stewart's all sat down to eat, whilst Sophie talked about school and the huge ice cream she had for dessert the evening before ..

"Ice cream huh"? Holly asked raising her eyebrows   
Sophie smiled " I wasn't suppose to tell you that bit"   
"I bet" Holly laughed " mom tell you to keep it a secret huh"?   
Sophie sunk into her chair " mom knows you'll tell us off, we can just keep this between us right" ?

All three Stewart's laughed hard .. The girl really was a mini version of Gail . " I think we can do that, just this once" 

"Thank god" Sophie signed in relief " mom would never trust me if she knew I told" 

"Mmmm never take you for ice cream again you mean"? Holly said tapping her hands on the table ..  
Sophie shrugged " can we have ice cream now"?   
"No" holly answered " I think you've had enough sugar this week don't you"? 

The child sat in a little sulk until her grandpa suggested they make a fruit cocktail.. Deciding it was was better then nothing Sophie agreed.. 

" she's so much like Gail" Kate laughed "hard to believe the genes don't match" 

Holly smiled. it was always a joke her and Gail shared " ya telling me"

..... 

 

As Gail opened the front door Chloe stood on the the other side with a huge grin " I got tequila, beer and cheese puffs " 

Gail Let her by with a sigh " that might help"  
"Cmon Gail stop being so grumpy," Chloe laughed placing her bag on the kitchen side " this will be fun, trust Me" 

Gail opened a beer Chugging half of it down in one " Chloe nothing about this is going to be fun! I don't even know how I let you talk me into this"?

Chloe joined Gail in a beer " because you need help and I'm awesome at romance" 

Gail lived with Dov long enough to know he and the redhead were a sappy couple, always leaving notes for each other and surprising each other with little tokens on love. So as much as it pained her to admit, she knew Chloe was her best bet. 

" yeah alright, gimme them cheese puffs and let's get this over with "

... 

Once Holly showered she sat on her bed drying her hair, Gail had been on her mind a lot earlier in the day and as much as she knew space was what the blonde needed, part of her missed the contact .. Gail had started to text her a lot over the last week or so, but today she was quiet.. That unnerved Holly so she decided to send her a lite hearted text ..

H- huge ice creams huh"? :)

 

Cmon Gail! If you're gonna do a mix tape it has to be songs you like.. You want Holly to know it's from you right? 

Gail threw her head back into the sofa "I don't know. Maybe this is a bad idea,? 

"No it isn't " Chloe argued " trust me, it's s really nice gesture, girls kinda dig it"

"I wouldn't!" Gail said bluntly " I'd think it's a pretty pathetic thing to do" 

"Well it's a good job Holly isn't you then" Chloe said rolling her eyes " ok listen, all you have to do is write down songs that remind you of her, or a song that makes you think about things you want to say"!?

"Ok so twelves tracks of Justin Biebers 'Sorry' and we done" Gail shrugged downing a shot of tequila" 

"Gail" Chloe sulked covering her eyes " look you want to do this right? You want to woo Hols"?   
"Kinda already done that years ago" Gail smirked 

"Ok fine" Chloe gave in,standing up "don't do it then! throw some flowers at her,push the boat out and buy her favourite wine "

Gail frowned " why do you care"?

"Because I do ok!" Chloe admitted annoyed " we all do, and we hate seeing you in so much pain. We hate the fact your life is in this mess.. We love Holly and Soph and just like you, they're hurting too! so maybe a mix tape won't work, maybe you guys do have a long way to go, I just want to help Gail! And I know i annoy you, and I know you tolerate me because Holly tells you off for saying mean things to me.. But I care ok? I care about all of you and I miss you . We all miss you" 

Gail was taken back by the red heads rant.. Part of her was touched, Chloe was Right she did tolerate her most of the time, but in fact she cared for the redhead too.. " Chloe I'm sorry," she sighed " I just find it hard being so .. So .. Weak" 

"It's not weak Gail.. Wanting to fix your life isn't weak at all" Chloe smiled sitting back down .. " so! Adele's a good place to start .. I mean her songs are pretty much a mix tape in its self "

Gail nodded . maybe being weak in front of Chloe wasn't as hard as she thought .. She in fact appreciated that the women wanted to help.. Not that she would tell her that ... 

... 

Holly's evening was drawing to a close with her parents heading back to their hotel " are you sure you don't want to stay? I can sleep in with Sophie" 

"No! don't be silly sweetheart," Kate said sharing her head " we don't mind at all" 

"That's right" George agreed kissing the brunettes head " and hey who knows! Might be a one off huh? Next time we come you might just be back where you belong"?

Holly smiled at her father! She liked that they were hopeful even if she wasn't .. She checked her phone throughout the evening wondering why Gail hadn't replied?

Holly's parents said goodbye to her and Sophie and headed off for the evening.. Leaving Sophie alone with her mom .. 

"Can we watch tv for a while"?   
"Coarse" Holly smiled taking a seat on the sofa next to the girl .. 

"Mom?" Sophie said quietly " your not mad are you? You know about the ice cream"?   
Holly laughed squeezing the girl " of coarse not, you're allowed treats Soph,"

Sophie smiled leaning into her mother "good because I don't want to be the reason you're mad at mom"   
Holly sighed " Soph I wouldn't argue with mom over something like that" 

"What about the time she took me swimming and you shouted at her because of my hair"? 

Holly laughed "Soph you know how long it takes to have your hair braided right. and that you have to wear a cap to keep it dry .. I was mad because we sat for eight hours the day before to have it done and the next day they fall out .. Remember?"

Sophie laughed " yeah it wasn't fun having to sit and have them down again that's for sure"   
"Exactly" Holly smiled kissing the girls head " anyways, sometime parents argue over silly things, but it's easily forgotten" 

"Not this time though huh?" Sophie sulked " it's taking a long time for mom to be fixed" 

Holly smiled sadly " I know! But she is getting better"   
"Oh I know.. She showed me her scar from when she got hurt"  
"She did"? Holly frowned  
"Mmmmhm! It's not that bad, it's just because she has skin like snow that you can see it" the girl giggled " I think she's going to be just fine"! 

Holly was surprised at what her daughter had told her.. She knew how hard it was for Gail to except she was hurt .. Holly herself hadn't seen the wound since it happened .. Gail was always careful to keep it well hidden.. 

"Soph has mom been ok lately"? 

"Yeah! She's not so sad anymore, so thats how I know she's getting better" 

Holly smiled lifting her phone.., still no text! Maybe she was at work? Maybe she was at the Penny? Holly didn't know where Gail was and she hated it .. That was one of the worst things about them being apart.. The not knowing where Gail was and if she was ok!" 

 

... 

" Ok so we have a selection of songs" Chloe smiled with a hiccup " I think we need to add some that will make her laugh! You know like silly songs " 

"We are not adding Disney songs to my mix tape" Gail warned ..   
Chloe laughed "boring"   
"Yeah well.. I want her to know it was all me, if I add something from frozen she's going see you written all over it" 

" Ok what about something cheesy?" Chloe offered "oooh like 'bump and grind" by R kelly, yeah that would make her laugh.. Or " I wanna sex you up?"

Gail cringed "really?   
"Yeah!" The redhead laughed "cmon it will be hilarious.. We can leave it till last, Holly will find it awesome" 

Gail shrugged "ok fine but if she doesn't then I'm blaming you" 

"Yes!" Chloe fist pumped " this is the best mix tape ever"   
Gail rolled her eyes throwing a handful of cheese puffs into her mouth .. 

"So we have a mix tape" Chloe cheered "what's next"? 

" isn't that enough " the blonde asked not bothering to empty her mouth..

Chloe shook her head " what kinda things did you do before"? 

Gail sipped her beer " give her love tokens"

"Which are what"? 

Gail smiled " unlimited access to all this" she said waving her hand over her body.. 

Chloe cringed " that's really Romantic Gail" she said sarcastically.. "What about sending flowers ? Or write little notes "? 

"Incase you haven't noticed, I don't live with My nerd right now! So notes are kinda out of the question"   
"Just because she isn't here doesn't mean you can't leave notes" Chloe offered " you can leave them on her car? Or on her apartment door, in her office!" 

Gail sighed " as much as this is cool of you, I just don't think it's me!"   
"Make it you" Chloe said " Gail you want Holly to know that you still love her right? That you want to work things out"? 

"Yes" Gail answered softly 

"So make a fool of yourself for her" 

Gail sat thinking for a moment " what kinda notes"?   
"Silly notes, love quotes" a little dirty talk" Chloe teased causing Gail to throw a cheese puff at her " ok Angel I think it's time to cut you off, call Dov to come get you! I'm all disney'd out for one night" 

.. 

While they wait for Dov, Chloe burns off Gail's mix tape/cd for her and helps clean away their mess .. " so when are you giving it to her"?   
"I don't know"! The blonde answered " when the times right"

"Soon though right?" 

"Yes Chloe soon, i wouldnt be able to handle your constant asking" 

Chloe laughed hugging her friend ., " Chloe we don't hug" 

"We do tonight" Chloe smiled " thanks for having me, I had fun"   
"Weirdly so did I" Gail cringed " Dov take this home" she called out at a waiting Dov , pushing Chloe gently out the door.

"See you tomorrow" Chloe waved over her head as she got into the car ..  
Gail had enjoyed her night as much as she hated to admit it . Had Chloe not come over she would have probably say drinking alone wishing her family were there .. Regardless of how annoying the redhead was to Gail, she was grateful for her help .. 

.. 

"Shit" Gail said looking at her phone .. She hadn't heard it go off earlier in the evening.. It was coming up to eleven pm, Gail wondered if it was to late to reply .. Maybe Holly would be asleep ?.. Deciding she didn't want the brunette to think she was ignoring her she decided to text anyways .. 

G- I have no idea what Sophie is talking about! :/

Holly was in her office been her phone buzzed .. As she read it she felt a sense of relief .. 

H- mmmm all that sugar must have effected your memory! 

G- who you going to believe? An officer of the law or some food junky kid? 

H- funnily enough I think you're both slightly corrupt! 

G-I should be offended by that comment! but I can't argue.. Everything ok!? 

 

Holly smiled .. This is what she liked.. The easiness of the two .. Just a simple lighthearted banter through text made things feel like they were moving forward .. 

H- everything's fine, my parents left a while ago and Sophie's in bed.

G- and your in your office working right? 

H-you know me to well!! :)

G- I knew it.. 

Holly bit her lip as she typed out her next message,

H- can I ask what you've been up to tonight? 

G- you can ask! .. But in not sure your ready to hear it lol .. 

Holly frowned .. Did she want to hear it? Of Coarse she did.. 

H- I'll take the risk! 

Gail laughed reading her message.. She could read Holly like a book..

G- I was drinking with a little red head,

Holly swallowed hard! A knot in her stomach formed and had wasn't sure what to reply .. Lucky she didn't have too.. 

G- Chloe! Hol.. I was with Chloe.. She came over to help me with something ... Got that big brain of yours ticking for a minute then huh! Lol 

H- I hate you right now!   
H- what was Chloe helping you with? Is everything ok"? 

G- I'm ok. And your find out soon enough .. Get some sleep, rest that nerd brain of yours xx   
H- are you sure your ok? 

G -yessssss.. I'm going to bed, you should do the same"!

Holly wondered what Chloe could possibly helping Gail with.. The blonde struggled to be around the redhead for any length of time usually .. Yes she liked her deep down but Chloe was defiantly way to happy for Gail's likening 

H- ok .. Night Gail X   
G- night nerd! See you Sunday Xxx


	12. Chapter 12

Sunday morning came round quicker then Gail had thought, she woke up and set about giving the house a good clean! As much as she hated to admit it, the house wasn't to the usual standard Holly had set .. She wasn't a fan of laundry and found herself going through the basket for clothes. Rather then her closet.. Not wanting Holly to think she wasn't coping she cleaned the place top to bottom, all laundry was washed,iron and put away .. She hid all evidence of junk food and went grocery shopping to fill the refrigerator. 

Everything George would need to the Bbq was prepped and prepared .. The Bbq and garden were cleaned up .. Gail was on a roll.. That was until she slowed down and realised just how nervous she was ... 

"Nervous about what"? Steve asked as she sat on the kitchen island picking at the cheese Puffs Gail was eating .. 

"I don't know! I feel stupid for even feeling this way! I mean they're my family right? We did this everyday before" 

"Sis, it's gonna be fine" Steve assured her " Holly is probably feeling the same way" 

Gail sunk in her chair " it's just it's the first her parents have been here since we separated and well, ..it's the first time we've done anything like this, I don't want to mess it up" 

"Are you cooking? Her brother asked   
"No" Gail answered with a frown 

"Then what can go wrong?" The red head detective teased punching the blondes arm " don't worry, once they're here everything will just fall into place" 

"Promise!" 

Steve kissed his sisters head " I promise, I'll take these" he smiled picking up the bag of cheese puffs, wouldn't want Holly to see now would we"? 

Gail rolled her eyes "get out"   
"I'm going" Steve laughed " I'll call you later" he added walking out the door..

Gail took some deep breaths " cmon Gail, you can do this... You can do this" 

 

..... 

 

You're quite honey!" Katie said softly as Holly drove through town " are you ok?"

Holly nodded " I'm fine!" She answered looking at Sophie in her review mirror playing with her father .. " I just don't want to confuse her anymore then she already is"

Katie turned her head to smile at her grand daughter " I think she's handling it much better then you think! Besides isn't this a good thing? You all together?" 

Holly forced a smile " yeah I guess"   
Katie took her daughters hand giving her a little squeeze " Gail loves the bones of both of you"  
Holly checked on her daughter again with a smile " I know" she answered quietly ... 

 

"Mommmmmy" Sophie called running into the house " mom are you here"? 

"Woah where's the fire" Gail laughed as Sophie ran into her ..   
The girl laughed " there isn't a fire silly!" 

George laughed as she held Gail's arm, placing a kiss to her head " good to see ya kid"   
"You too old man" Gail teased .. Smiling as Holly entered the house behind her mother .. 

"Hi honey" Katie said hugging the blonde as she walked past.. Leaving just her and Holly in the hall .. 

"Hey" Holly smiled   
Gail could sense the awkwardness and wondered what would be an appropriate greeting for the pair ..

"Hey" was all that came out of her mouth ..  
Holly smiled again handing Gail a bag with wine in it " supplies" 

Gail nodded..it was always a private joke how Kate's mothering drove the pair to drink .. As Holly walked towards her, Gail took her hand " hey!" She said again " It's good to see you"! 

Holly lifted her hand to tuck a small piece of hair that had slipped out of Gail's pony tail behind her ear " you too" 

" Gail"? George called out " is the bbq ready?"  
The blonde was still stood in the hall staring at Holly " uh yeah! ready when you are" she called back " is it to early to open a bottle?" She joked holding up the bag..

"Holly laughed " for you?..Never" 

 

The afternoon processed to run smoothly and with the sun out everyone seemed in good spirits, Sophie had talked her moms into allowing the neighbours golden retriever to come over, so she was running around the garden being chased by the dog.. 

"You two should get her a dog"! George smiled seeing how much fun his granddaughter was having.

"Gail's not a fan of pets pops" Holly stated   
"Who doesn't love dogs?" The man frowned " you mean to tell me you've never handed a dog in your line of work?"

"No!" Gail answered " and it's not that I don't like dogs, i just don't like the hair,and the slobber! Then you have to walk them and their food stinks and you have to get sitters if you wanna go out of town"! 

The Stewart's all laughed in unison "see she isn't a fan of pets" Holly said nudging Gail gently .. 

"Nope! but what I am a fan of is chickens! Chickens soaked in sauce, is this ready yet?" The blonde asked lifting the BBq lid up..

George checked the meat over and placed a piece on the cops plate " knock yourself out kid" 

Holly watched on sipping her wine with a smile, that hadn't gone unnoticed by her mother .. 

"So Gail hows therapy!?" Kate asked simply causing Holly to choke on her wine .

"Mom"! She snapped, her tone sounding really annoyed..  
Gail looked up at Holly from her seat and smiled " it's ok..it's going well" she replied to Kate " it's been a long process and at times hard to deal with but.... " the blonde licked her bottom lip " I'm getting there, I feel the old me creeping back in" 

 

Holly was furious with her mother for bringing the subject up, she felt like the older women was pushing Gail to justify Herself .. Feeling the urge to snap at her mother she squeezed Gail shoulder in support and entered the house .. 

Kate noticed and turned to Gail " I gather I just put my foot in it?"   
Gail shook her head " it's ok.. I'll go" she added pointing her thumbs over her shoulders ., 

"You just can't help yourself can you"! George fumed at his wife .  
.... 

 

Gail found Holly in the kitchen, heavily Beating up a salad " what did that cucumber do to you" she joked jumping up on to the kitchen unit Holly was stood at .. 

"You know I hate you sitting on the sides" Holly moaned looking up to a smiling, nodding Gail " yeah! I still do it though"! 

Holly shook her head " I'm sorry"!   
"Don't be, and don't be angry with your mom" Gail smiled stroking the brunettes cheek " she means well" 

"She should mind her own business" Holly sniffed licking her bottom lip ..  
"Hey! Cmon, I'm the mean one remember? . .. you don't get mean" Gail teased ..

Holly appreciated the sentiment,but she wasn't in no mood to lighten up . Her mom had been warned before they arrived to keep the conversations light and not ask questions " maybe you rub off on me"! She sighed .. 

Gail laughed " maybe".. She could see the tears in Holly's eyes, the sadness in her voice " hey!" She smiled using her fingers to lift Holly's chin so they were facing each other " you look really nice today" she said as she leaned down to place her lips on to the brunettes .. Holly hesitated a little but Gail expected that .. Letting her lips linger a little so Holly could feel comfortable with what was happen , Gail slowly opened her mouth, taking Holly's bottom lip between her own.

"Gross"! Came a little voice from the door .. As Gail and Holly broke their kiss to face their daughter they laughed . George had his hands over the child's eyes while she squirmed to break free " the dogs gone back next door,but he's popped on the lawn" 

Gail screwed her face up looking at Holly " I can't clean dog shi........ Holly quickly covered the blondes mouth with her hand before her words hit Sophie's ears .. " it's ok pops, I'll sort it " 

George returned to the garden taking Sophie with him .. 

" so uh.." Gail stopped slowly stroking her bottom lip with her tongue " I .. " she swallowed " I was kinda thinking that .. Well ..that when this all over and it's time for you all to leave, I was hoping you .. well you kinda didn't"?

Holly frowned shaking her head a little " what do you mean"?  
Gail sighed looking up to the ceiling " I mean can you stay?.. Like just you?.... Get the oldies to watch Sophie and you and I .. Just stay " 

Holly stood silently thinking over Gail's offer... She couldn't deny it shocked her ..she could see how nervous Gail and knew it must have took a lot to ask . "You don't have to do this!"

"I want too" Gail replied " I wouldn't ask if I didn't.. I want to spend some time with you" 

Holly nodded " isn't that what we're doing now?"

"Alone!" Gail said looking straight into Holly's eyes .. 

That word! That one word sent waves of nervousness through the brunettes body, a knot formed in her stomach and she felt herself being to sweat " what em " she cleared her throat " what woulda .. I um"

Gail smiled widely " what um! You um? I um?.. Just nod nerd" 

Holly did just that, she nodded letting Gail know she would stay longer.. Gail winked jumping off the unit heading back outside " put that cucumber down Hol, it doesn't suit you"   
Holly laughed to herself finishing off the salad she was butchering and taking it outside ., as she arrived her Mom was in the middle of apologising which Gail was waving off ..   
" honey I'm sorry "  
It's ok mom" holly smiled more so at Gail .. "Forget it.. So where's this dog poop"? 

"I took care of it " Kate smiled "call it a peace offering"?

Gail and Holly laughed " see that's why i don't like pets" 

Holly just kissed her mothers head leaving it at that .. 

As She sat watching Gail and Sophie play, her thoughts were on what would happen once they were alone? What would they talk about!? What would they do?., 

"You ok!" George asked bringing Holly out of her thoughts ..  
"Yeah.. But um I need a favour! .. Gail's asked if we can hang out later and I was wondering..

"You don't even have to ask" Katie cut her off " Soph can come back to the hotel with us"  
"Yeah they have a pool" George added " she can bring her swimming costume "

Holly smiled to show her gratitude ..Both her parents seeing the nerves wash over their daughters face. 

..... 

But I have school In the morning!" Sophie frowned ..   
"That's ok!" Gail smiled " you can take your uniform with you and I'll pick you up in the morning! We thought you would like to hang with the oldies a little longer, and you love swimming"  
Sophie was defiantly Gail's daughter when it came to curiosity " I dont buy it! Somethings up"   
Holly laughed while Gail shook her head " ok kid, it's like this! I want you to go with the oldies because I really want to spend some time with your mom... Alone" 

Sophie eyes widened and her face light up " really!? Are you back together? Is mom coming home?" 

"Woah slow down kid," Gail laughed " let's not run before we can walk" 

"I'm gonna get my stuff," Sophie cheered..  
"Honey, you don't have to do it right" Holly said to the excited child .

"Yeah! I want to go now,! cmon grandpa help me" she asked running up the stairs.. 

"Looks like we're leaving now" George joked as he got up off his chair .. 

Katie and Gail started the clean up while Holly made sure Sophie had everything she needed for her sleep over ..

"So do you have anything planned for the rest of the day"? Katie asked hoping she wasn't over stepping the mark again ..

Gail shrugged " I haven't got that far yet Kate, I just want to be around her you know!"  
Kate smiled ask placed her arm around Gail shoulders " I really love you! You know that?"

Gail blushed "thank you" she said seriously " it means a lot"   
"Just have fun" Kate said as she kissed the blondes head 

"I'm ready! Let's go" Sophie grinned interrupting the moment " I'm so excited "

"We know you've said it a thousand times already" Holly teased stoking the girls braids .  
Sophie gave her mom an unimpressed look before turning to her grandmother " can we go please!?"   
"Yeah kid cmon lets go" George answered instead " let's give your moms some peace huh!"? 

 

Sophie skipped to the car in front of her grandparents, who were saying their good byes .. Holly had arranged to pick Sophie up in the morning and take her to school .. 

"Where your swim cap ok Honey?" she called out to Sophie who just gave her a "yes mom" look .. 

Watching her dad pull out of the parking space Holly began to feel nervous again.. She hadn't been alone with Gail in their home since the night she walked out .., Weirdly being at home today didn't feel as strange or as painful as it has done .. Maybe it was because Gail and her no longer argued? or Maybe it was because Gail wasn't so distant? she didn't know!, But what she did know was that she was about to spend the day with the most important person in her life and it terrified her .., 

 

Once back inside Gail was no where to be seen, so Holly decided to busy herself with the dishes .. As she began placing the plates into the dish washer she felt a warm hand take hers.. 

"Leave that" Gail said taking the Doctors hand fully pulling her towards the couch, grabbing the bottle of wine as she pasted it ..   
Holly's heart was beating a million miles a minutes, the feel of Gail's hand sent a rush through her body. A tingle down her spine.. 

Gail pulled her down on to the couch "here!" She smiled handing Holly a empty glass, filling it with wine " It's been a good day huh?"  
Holly sipped her wine with a nod " yeah it has, Soph seemed to enjoy it "

Gail placed her glass down,taking Holly's out of her hand.. She slowly laced their fingers together " she's not the only one!.. I'm glad you stayed"   
Holly looked down at their hands entwined together, they fit perfectly. 

"I hate that I'm nervous" Holly muttered running her thumb over Gail's hand .. 

" I am too" Gail smiled 

Holly looked up at the blonde " really!?" 

"God yes" Gail laughed " terrified! and if I'm honest, I didn't plan this! It just kinda came to me when I was sat with you in the kitchen.. But I'm glad you're here, and I'm glad we are both nervous" 

Holly nodded " I'm glad I stayed too!"

Gail nodded taking Holly's chin in free hand, pulling her in gently, kissing her softly and slowly.. A moan escaped from Holly which made Gail smile . Slowly they fell into the moment, Holly keeping her hands around Gail's hand that was in her lap, while Gail used her free one to stroke Holly's face .. Gail knew Holly was still hesitant to touch her, and she didn't blame her ..

She knew it was something they both had to get use to again, they had to build the trust back and Gail was willing to do her part, she missed touching Holly, it felt good to feel her skin,to hear that deep sexy moan that would slip out every time Gail kissed her deeply .. 

Holly pulled away needing to catch her breath .. She didn't want Gail to think it wasn't what she wanted, but that the same time she didn't want to over push it ..

"So I was wondering if you want to hear about my session with Doc Mason"? 

"Of coarse!" 

Gail nodded turning to face Holly more, picking her wine up as she did so. " ok so basically what we're doing now is.. Working more on what's next."

Holly nodded she didn't want to ask questions because it would take Gail out of her zone so she remained silent still holding Gail's hand .. 

" the last couple of sessions haven't really been about me.. We've started to cover the now, ya know?.. Less of what happened and more of what's happening " Gail explained " and You've seen how she works, she doesn't tell me what to do, or think or feel! So I know the change has come from me"

"That's a good thing thought right?" Holly whispered   
Absolutely" Gail agreed " it means I'm adjusting and excepting the changes and working on moving forward.. I'm looking at what's next" 

Holly picked up her wine taking a sip ...

"So she's been filling my head with all this sappy shit" Gail laughed which made Holly frown..   
"Yeah" Gail sighed " she thinks for us to move forward in the intimacy department I need to romance you" 

"Oh god Gail" Holly laughed.." Honey as sweet at that sounds, you're not exactly the romantic type"

Gail frowned "uh take that back Stewart! I'll Have you know Gail Peck can be a sap" she sulked playfully " which leads me to the something I wanted to show you .. Or give you.. I don't know whatever" 

Holly had a toothy grin across her face, more so at the fact she didn't feel nervous anymore .. " ok,so what is it"? 

Gail got up disappearing out of the room before returning quickly .. Throwing something into Holly's lap as she slumped back on the couch .. 

Holly picked the item up, taking the cover off with a little gasp " Gail! You've made me a mix tape?"   
Gail blushed " Doctor Mason seems to think a lot of her patients do it.. She said its a way of expressing yourself when you can find the words " 

Holly was touched, really touched, she had never received a mix tape before " is this what Chloe was helping you with"? 

"Yup" Gail said popping the P," three painful hours with the Disney princess, half a bottle of tequila and a master piece was made"

Holly shook her head still smiling " can I listen to it"? 

"Not when I'm around! " Gail cringed " I already feel like a dope as it is.. You can listen to it later or never" 

Holly slowly lifted her hand with Gail's still in it .. " thank you, I love it " she whispered kissing Gail's wrist " I love it" 

" I really want to try"

"Me too" Holly agreed wiping a happy tear from her eye 

"Ok no more tears, no more depressing talks " Gail laughed " do you want to go to the penny!? Steve text asking if I wanted to meet him and a few others there" 

"The penny"? 

"Why not" Gail shrugged " I mean it's something we use to do right!? Maybe doing normal things is a start" 

"You know people will talk?" 

"Let them" Gail smiled kissing Holly quickly "cmon if we get there in time Steve will buy us drinks " 

.....

Because it was a nice evening and the Stewart-Peck residence was only twenty minute away from the Penny, they decided to walk.. Gail took hold of Holly's hand and held it the whole way .. Swinging it between them as they walked .. Their conversation was mainly of random day to day things, funny stuff Sophie had said and did lately . 

As they reached the door Holly stopped "wait! What if they start asking questions?.. I mean what if they ask if we're back together"!

Gail shrugged " we've always been together Holly! Have you ever classed yourself as single?"  
Holly shook her head " no,but I did leave"   
Gail moved Holly's hair over her shoulder " physically! Yes.. Emotionally! No.. We've always been together nerd.. So if they ask? We say we never broke up" 

"Won't that be confusing?" Holly asked with a frown..   
"Who cares" Gail grins "that's their problem" she laughed pulling Holly into the bar... 

Gail felt confidant in showing the world she was on the mend and she hasn't lost her family..   
Nothing was going to keep her from winning her family back .. Nothing was going to stop her from bringing Holly home to her and Sophie where she belonged .. 

 

A/N .. Not to keen on this chapter, don't want it to come across like Gail has worked up one day and everything is back to normal.. So this chapter isn't great.. But it is an update lol . Thanks for still reading X


	13. Chapter 13

Once Gail and Holly entered the bar, they quickly found the table their friends were occupying .. " ok so who's buying us a drink?" The blonde asked taking a seat next to Traci ..

Every conversation stopped and all eyes were on the pair.. 

"What?" Gail frowned looking around the table.

Steve was the first to speak, " I guess I'm buying" he smiled standing up " it's good to see you" he whispered into Hollys ear as she kissed the top of her head.. 

The table was still silent and the look of surprise still on everyone's face. It had been months since they had seen Gail and Holly together .. 

" what are you all looking at?" Gail asked " it's not like you've never seen Holly before" 

" Gail"? Holly said.. Her tone telling her to behave ..

"It's just really good to see you guys together, it's been a long time coming" Traci explained saving the rear of the group from answering " and I for one am glad you're here " the detective added squeezing the pathologists arm .. 

"It's nice to be here" Holly smiled ..  
"Drinks are coming" Steve stated seating back in his seat .. " so how was the bbq?"

"It was nice" Holly nodded " Soph had fun" 

"Yeah till the neighbours dog took a shit on the lawn" Gail added 

The group laughed knowing Gail had a weak stomach and that kinda thing would send her over the edge .. " so are you two like....." Chloe asked with a smile not finishing her sentence .. 

"Mind your own business princess" Gail snapped staring at the redhead as she sipped her beer..   
Holly gentle nudged the blonde reprimanding .  
. "Sorry" Gail shrugged " Chloe?.. Holly and I are not back together.. because we never broke up! .. We separated " 

Chloe smiled with a little shrug " well what ever it is, I'm happy about it"

As much as Gail couldn't stand the happiness of the redhead, she appreciated the support " thank you" she said sincerely .. 

The rest of the evening fall into a familiar setting with Holly laughing and joking with their friends.. Dov taking up the opportunity to pull out his trivia cards, determined to one day beat Holly .. Much to his annoyance it still hadn't happened .. 

"You ok kid?" Oliver asked as he stood next to Gail at the bar as Gail watched Holly interact with the others .. 

"I think so" she smiled " it's good to see her smile" 

Oliver rubbed the top of Gail's arm " it's good to see you smile too... It's been awhile"

Gail sighed with a small curl of her lip " well I'm hoping I'll have things to smile about from here on in" 

"Baby steps peck, I mean we wouldn't want to ruin that reputation of yours " the balding man laughed ..

Gail laughed too " yeah well there is that!" 

"Enjoy the moment kid" 

Gail watched for a little longer before Holly noticed her alone at the bar.. Excusing herself she made her way over " what are you doing over her all by yourself?" 

Gail shrugged turning to the bar " I don't know just... Just taking it all in" 

Holly wasn't sure what that meant " do you want to go? I mean if it's to much for you?" 

"No! .. No.. I'm happy to be here" gail smiled " I'm just happy that your here and that we're doing something!... I don't know... Normal"

Holly nodded waving the bartender over " well I'm kinda liking normal" 

Gail placed money into the bartenders hand before Holly could " one for yourself" 

Holly frowned at Gail's gesture " since when?" She laughed .. 

"Since I'm in a good mood" Gail replied swigging her beer .. 

"Come back to the table with me?" 

"Do I have too?" the blonde sulked 

Taking Gail by the hand Holly grinned "yes" 

..... 

 

" well I've counted up the results and Holly beat me again" Dov sulked 

"Why don't you just quit!" Gail shrugged sitting down pulling Holly to seat close to her 

"my nerd will always beat your dumbass.. 

Holly smiled at Gail's use of the word "my" it had been a long time since she was Gail's anything and tonight she finally felt like they were together again .. She just hoped it wasn't a one off and Gail really was gettin back to her old self ... 

 

" Ok well as good as it is us all being together" Steve spoke finishing off his beer " I have work early in the morning " 

Traci stood up " yep and I have to collect Leo from my moms" 

"Can we get a ride?" Gail asked knowing Holly was on her third drink and that was always the doctors limit on a school night ..

"Sure" Traci smiled " let's go" 

Holly said her polite goodbyes to everyone unlike Gail who just insulted everyone as she placed her jacket on .. 

" laters losers" 

 

.. 

In the car Steve and Holly spoke of a case they were working on while Traci drove towards the brunettes place .. Gail was quiet 

.. She wanted more then anything to ask Holly to come back to the house with her, but she also knew.. Now wasn't the right time .. As much as she wanted Holly back in every way, she knew she wasn't ready...

"Thanks for the lift guys" Holly smiled taking off her belt bringing Gail out of her thoughts ..  
"And thanks for tonight! I had a great time " 

Gail wasn't sure if she was speaking to her or the two in front, but she knew she didn't want the night to end in the back of Traci's car .. 

"Can I walk you up?" 

Holly blushed a little seeing Steve turn around with a grin on his face... "Sure" she nodded getting out of the car saying "goodbye" once more .. 

The ride in the elevator was silent.. Holly knew not to make small talk .. She knew Gail well enough to know that sometimes she needed a moment .. As they approached the door Holly placed the key in the lock pushing the door open before turning to Gail .. 

"I meant what I said you know?.. About having a good time" 

Gail nodded pulling at the sleeves of her jacket " me too.. Thank you for staying.. You know?.. and for coming out with me tonight" 

Holly nodded with a smile.. Her nerves kicked in and she wasn't sure how to say goodbye.. Lucky for her Gail wasn't so worried .. She slowly stepped in and gently kissed Holly on the side of her mouth..

"Nite nerd" 

"Nite" Holly blushed still feeling the warmth of Gail's lips .. 

Gail got into the car with a smile on her face..  
"You ok?" Steve asked his little sister .

"Yeah!.. Yeah I am" the blonde smiled biting her lip.. 

Steve and Traci shared a warm smile between them as Traci pulled off heading towards Gail ... 

"Good to here it " the redhead detective nodded touching the blondes leg "let's get you home huh?" 

 

.... 

It had been thirty hours since Gail said good night to Holly.. All day she had thought about the brunette.. Wondering what she was thinking? How she was feeling about last night?.. Sat at her desk with her phone in her hand contemplating whether it would be OK to text ? Or call? .. 

"It won't ring if you just stare at it!" Dov stated as he tapped away at the keyboard in front of him .. 

" go die a slow painful death" Gail bitched .. 

" oh there she is" Dov laughed shaking his head " just text her " 

"Text who?" Gail sighed 

"Holly!.. I mean that is who you're thinking about right?" Dov smirked feeling proud of himself " who you're hoping will make your phone ring out?"

"No!" Gail said all defensive ..

"Yes! I know you Peck.. Remember when you first realised you had feelings for Holly? But you tried to pretend you didn't? And you use to have that stupid look on your face when she did text you?.. You remember that? Well I do and this looks exactly like that" the skinny guy laughed patting himself on the back mentally .. 

Gail sighed heavily.. There was no point in fighting the smug idiot opposite her "Dov! You remember when I use to live with you?"

Dov nodded unsure of where this conversation was going..

"You do?" Gail nodded "goooood! So you'll also remember that when you pissed me off I would hurt you and you would cry like the little bitch you are" 

Dov laughed loudly " good one Gail! Except I'm not afraid of you! Because you know I'll tell Holly and you're more afraid of her then I'll ever. Be of you" 

Gail knew Dov had won the argument.. Over the years Holly would constantly scold her for being mean to her "friends" .. 

"You're lucky I'm in therapy and trying to be a better person Epstein .. You really are" 

"Hey Gail" Traci smiled entering the bull pen interrupting Gail's death glare at Dov ..

"What's going on?" The detective asked with a confused smile..

"I'm just debating if Epstein is worth going to jail for" the blonde smirked.. Causing Dov to roll his eyes .. 

"Oooook" Traci laughed "anyways I need Holly to go over this evidence for me and I wondered if you wanted to take it for me? "

Of Coarse she does" Dov pipped up 

" oh your so worth the jail time you little sap" Gail snapped looking slowly from him to Traci " I will take your evidence, but only because I can't stand to look at his ugly face anymore " she smirked throwing a pen at her fellow cop .. 

Dov caught the pen before it hit his head " say hi to Holly for me" ... 

......... 

When Gail arrives at the morgue she can hear Holly laughing .. It was a sound she could never get bored of... Upon entering the lab Gail was surprised to see Holly alone .. 

"Hey" 

Holly shot her head up " hi.. What brings you down here?" 

Gail lifted her hand to show the brunette the file she had for her .. "What we're you laughing at?" 

"Oh" Holly laughed again waving Gail over " my dad just sent me this video of Sophie from last night, come see!" 

Gail leaned in close to see Holly's phone .. As the brunette pressed play, Sophie came into view .. There she was at the pool of her grandparents hotel, trying to build up the courage to jump off the small diving board .. With the encouragement of Holly's parents . 

"Keep watching" Holly whispered ..

Sophie edged toward the end of the board with her hands in the diving position .. " go on Soph" Kate could be heard " you can do it honey "

As Gail watched on she began to laugh as the child's tongue popped out of her mouth being held between her teeth .. This was something she did when she was concentrating to hard 

"Watch" Holly smiled .. 

As Sophie shuffle forward her foot slips and she falls into the pool with a huge slash causing her mothers to laugh out loud ..

"Man we're cruel parents" Gail giggles.. 

"I know! I know, but I couldn't help it .. Her face was a picture" 

"You know she's gonna be mad when she finds out we laughed at her?" Gail smiles continuing to watch as Kate pulls from from the pool .. 

"Well we better not tell her then" Holly replies leaning back into her chair .. " so what have you got for me?" 

Gail could smell Holly what with being so close to her .. Her shampoo and moisturiser mingled together .. Still on a high from the night before she leans into the brunette kissing her quickly but softly .. " that" she smiles and places the file on the table " and sadly more work for you from Nash" 

Holly wasn't expecting the kiss, so she was slightly taken back.. Her cheeks turning a lite shade of red ... " well I guess I better get to it then"

Gail stood away from the brunette " I'll uh.. Leave you to it" 

"No! I mean you just got here" Holly swallows " I don't have to start this right away " she smiled tapping the file " coffee?" 

Gail nodded pulling up a chair " it's quiet here today!" 

Holly busied herself making coffee " yeah well my patients aren't really big on small talk" 

"Har har" Gail said deadpan .. After a few seconds of silence Gail cleared her throat " so last night was nice huh?" 

Placing a coffee in front of Gail with a smile Holly took her seat " yeah it was.. I think today was the first day I've woken up with a smile on my face " 

Gail nodded in agreement " me too!.. Hol?" She swallowed hard " I don't wanna push my luck or come on to strong but uh.. I would really like to see you more.. I don't know.. text or call you just because you know?" 

Holly appreciated Gail's openness and smiled at the thought that Doctor Mason was really starting to bring out the best side of Gail .

"Gail! You can call and text me anytime" 

Gail stood so she could pace.. She found she spoke better whilst she walked .. " I don't just want to text or call you though! I want you to not feel you need to rush off when you drop Soph back home.. I want you to feel that you can come over even when it's not your day with Soph.. I want to be able to bring you lunch and not have to think of an excuse" the blonde rambled 

Holly knew to not interrupt Gail while she was in the zone , so she sat silently allowing Gail her moment . 

" I know this is all on me and I know I'm the one who pushed you away, and I know I can't expect you just to forget about these last few months and what I've put you through .. "   
Gail stood still looking up at the ceiling sighed heavily " I just want you back" 

A single tear fell down the doctors cheek as she listened to Gail's words .. They sounded so loud ringing through her ears . 

"Gail"?

"I should go" Gail sighed puffing out her cheeks " I'm sorry, I didn't come here to lay this on you, I .. I .. I'll go" 

"No!" Holly said standing up " don't run" 

Gail looked into Holly's eyes for the first time since she arrived " I'm sorry" she swallowed 

"Don't be sorry" Holly said as she made her way over to the blonde taking her hand.  
" don't ever be sorry for being honest with me" 

Gail looked down at their entwined hands .. Holly's kind gently hands holding her now shaking ones .. " you know if I could make this all go away i would in a heart beat " 

"I know " Holly smiled " but we can't do that! All we can do is try and make it right" 

Gail exhaled heavily " that's all I want" 

"Hey Doc" Swarek smiled entering the lab not realising that he was interrupting " you got something for me?" 

Gail moved her hand placing it in her vest " I gotta go" 

Holly nodded " we'll talk later" she called out after the blonde .. 

" what's up with her?" Sam asked 

"Nothing" Holly replied " she's fine.. "

... 

Gail was mad with herself .. She felt stupid for saying what she did .. How could she feel sorry for herself when everything that happened was her fault.. All Holly wanted to do was be there for her and love her no matter what.. 

"Stupid,stupid,stupid"

"What's that mumbles?" Nick Collins asked from behind her..

"Nothing!" Gail sighed " it's just shaping up to be a really shitty day" 

Nick wasn't sure if his next move would be welcomed but he decided he cared enough about the blonde " wanna talk about it?" 

"With you!?" Gail frowned

"Why not?" Nick shrugged " I know it was many moons ago Gail, but there was a time when you and I actually meant something to each other! And I'd like to think I'm your friend" 

Gail felt her lips curl up.. Not a smile but something close.. Yes ok she still saw Nick as a traitor for sleeping with Andy but it was years ago and she had well and truly moved on .. And he was right, they were close before and she could talk to him .. 

" I just can't seem to get to that place" she whispered fiddling with her hands ..

"What place?" Nick asked softly 

Signing heavily Gail licked her bottom lip " with Holly, we've been apart so long and I'm done with it.. I just want to go back to the way we were, I want her home, I want my family back.. I mean am I that bad a person? Do I really deserve this? Does she?" 

Nick nodded taking a seat next to where the blonde was stood " Gail! You and I both know from experience that when shit happens,no one is ever the same again!.. Bad things change a person, you know that first hand.. But!.. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I have ever seen a more stronger, more loving, happier couple then you and Holly.. I know that you two can .. No you will make it.. I know you blame yourself and I know you're finding it hard to get back to you .. But maybe you should stop trying"? 

"Stop trying?" Gail frowned " Collins that Really had advice "

Nick laughed a little " not stop trying to make it better, stop trying to be who you use to be.. Start living for now honey.. From this day.. Be the better, more healed you" 

Gail looked at her ex with dark eyes.. She forgot how nice he was, how easy he was to talk to, to listen too.. " I don't know if I can! I don't know if I have the courage" 

"Well I know.. I know you, I've seen you at your weakest and your strongest Gail, and I know that you, you are an amazing women with a good heart, you love hard especially for where Hols and Soph are concerned" 

" you hitting on me Collins?" She teased   
Nicked laughed standing up placing her arms around the blonde " nah been there done that " 

Gail let him embrace her "twice" 

"Yeah" Nick laughed squeezing her tighter " twice.. You don't have to be afraid Gail.. It's Holly.. Your nerd, your lunchbox" 

Gail laid her head on Nick's chest hearing his heart beat " thanks Nick" 

"You're welcome" he smiled kissing her head " no get off me, you're covering me in snot" he teased slowing pulling away to look at her .. " remember you are Gail Peck.. And she is badass and afraid of nothing" 

Gail laughed wiping her eyes " I still hate you" 

"Standard" Nick winked picking up his bag throwing it over his shoulder " go get her" 

...


	14. Chapter 14

Gail stood outside the morgue! Her shift finished over an hour ago and yet here she was.. 

She had in her mind what she wanted to do.. She had talked herself into stepping up and takin action .. Nick was right! She was Gail Peck and she was badass.. It was now or never. .. Time to take a leap rather then a baby step.   
No more thinking, no more going over things or fearing the worst .. Today she was going to get the women she loved back .. It was now or never ., 

"Hey" 

"Hi" Holly smiled not expecting to see the blonde again today .. "You ok?" She asked seeing the look on Gail's face .

Gail's heart was beating a million beats a second, her palms were sweaty and her legs were shaking ... "Yeah" she swallowed "can you uh .. Come with me?" 

"Come with you?" The brunette frowned " where?., wait is Sophie ok?" 

"She's fine" Gail answered " can you ?" 

"Gail I have a lot to do here? Can it wait?"

"No!" Gail shook her head " no it can't, I really need you to come with me.. Now!" 

"You're worrying me Gail! Is everything ok?"

Gail could feel herself getting agitated.. It didn't help Holly's intern was stood in the same room " Hol? Can you just not ask me questions? Can you just please do as I ask?" 

Holly's intern could hear the urgency in the blondes voice " uh why don't you go with Detective Peck and I can finish up here" ?

Holly hadn't taken her eyes off the blonde " Gail!?" 

"Please?"

Holly nodded following Gail towards the exit of the building "where are we going?" 

Gail didn't say a word until they were in the car " Gail? Where are we goin?" Holly asked again .. 

"Your place!" Gail answered " it's closer then ours" 

"My place?" Holly asked confused " why?" 

Gail bit hard on her lip " can we not talk For a minute? Just till let get to your place ok? "

Holly's head was all over the place. She had no idea what Gail wanted or what she was doing! Placing her trust in the blonde she sat back and watched the city go by as they drove towards her place .., 

 

Once inside Holly offered Gail a coffee or something stronger ., 

"No"! The blonde shook her head taking Holly by the hand leading her to her bedroom .. "Can you uh.." She pointed to Holly's bed " can you sit" ? 

Still non the wiser Holly did as she was asked " Gail?" 

"Ok so " Gail stood in front of the brunette swallowing hard " you're probably wondering why the hell we're here?.. And I'm gonna tell you ok?" 

Holly clasped her hands together on her lap 

" ok?" 

"Ok so basically, you're the most amazing person I've ever met" Gail started " you're beautiful inside and out, and you're kind and caring, but not in an annoying way like Chloe .. And you .. You know you're gently., and people love you .. They smile when you enter a room, they want to talk to you, they like you and not because they have to you know?" 

"Gail? What is this about?" Holly asked 

" I'm getting there" Gail laughed lightly " when I met you.. Everyone said they couldn't believe someone like me found someone like you! They said " hey Gail! What's your secret" and they would tease me about you making me better, less of a bitch... I knew from the moment we kissed that I was punching above my weight with you?" 

"Gail please!" .Holly hated it when Gail put herself down 

"Cmon Hol.. Lisa was right! But that doesn't matter because you chose me didn't you? You wanted a life with me?" 

Holly nodded ... "Always" 

"Holly to me, your perfect, in every way possible and all I've ever wanted was to show you how perfect you are, to give you the best life possible.. To be good enough for you!" 

"You are?" 

"But I'm not" Gail cried out " not anymore" 

Holly frowned so hard her head hurt " what do you mean?"

Gail bottom lip quivered uncontrollable " he took that from me" 

Holly's breath hitched in her throat, tears filled her eyes .. 

" you make me feel so good about who I am" Gail continued " the way you looked at me, It use to make me feel like the most beautiful women in the world, when i felt you in my arms I felt like the luckiest person in the world .. You gave me Sophie" 

"Sophie was your idea" Holly smiled 

"No.. I mean yes!.. Yes I wanted to adopt her, but you and I both know there's no way I would Have got her if it wasn't for you stepping up with me" Gail sighed .. And that's what you do Hol.. You step up and you back me all the way with everything " 

Holly's tears defeated her and rolled down her cheeks " no more then you do me" 

" things changed though didn't they?" Gail asked " I went to work feeling happier then I've ever been and came home a complete stranger .. I pushed you away and treated you like something I stepped in.. Only you., not Sophie, or Steve, or Traci or my parents .. Just you... And I hate myself for that" 

"Don't say that" Holly swallowed "please don't say that "

"why not?" Gail asked chocking back her tears " it's true, I pushed you away because I'm no longer perfect for you " 

"Of coarse you are" Holly gasped 

"No! .. No I'm not" Gail argued " you deserve someone who is amazing and wonderful and beautiful not some damaged washed out... "

"Stop" Holly raised her voice " do not finish that sentence " 

" look at me!" Gail sniffed " I'm broken Hol.. I bare a permanent reminder of everything you hate about my job .." 

"Your scar?" 

Gail nodded slowly taking off her jacket and undoing her shirt " why would you want to be with someone that has this?" She asked removing her shirt revealing a small scar on the side of her stomach " why would you want to touch this?" She asked waving a hand over her body " how could you ever find me sexy again? How would you ever Be able to look at me with this constant reminder of everything you could have lost .. You worst fear coming true " ?

Holly couldn't take her eyes off Gail's scar, her words swirling around her head .. Did Gail really believe Holly wouldn't want her again? Did she really feel like she would never be sexy or beautiful ?

Holly in that moment felt brave, she don't care if Gail flinched .. She needed to be near the blonde .. " do you really believe that Gail?.. You really think that because you were injured I wouldn't want you?" 

" look at me Holly?" 

"I am.. And I see you the same way I did the day i met you.. Gail? I can't even begin to understand why you would Even think that I wouldn't want you because of what happened " 

Gail shook her head " it's not about what happened Holly! Is about this?" She pointed to her scar " this disgusting, horrible revolting permanent mark , something that lets me know even after all this time! That I'm not good enough for you " 

Holly let her tears fall, she took Gail's hand and slowly walked her to her bed to sit .. " Gail listen to me and listen real hard,cause I'm only saying this once ."Holly warned kneeling infront of the tearful blonde ."

I love you! I've been in love with since Frank and noelle's wedding .. And still to this day I haven't stopped loving you .. This scar? It doesn't mean to me what you think it does.. You think it reminded me that You almost died? .. No!" Holly shakes her head .. 

"What this reminded me is that I still have you.. That you're strong and you fight, this scar reminds me that we no matter what happens to you!? You'll always come back to me! To Soph!"

Gail closes her eyes as she feels Holly's fingers gently run across her knife wound.. 

"Don't be afraid" Holly whispers as she gently pushes Gail to lay down " I'm here, I want to be here " she continues .. " you are still the most beautiful women in the world to me" placing a gentle kiss to Gail's most hated area,holly could feel the risen skin on her lips .. It was no where near as bad as Gail saw it.. 

"I love you" 

Gail's tears had stopped, her eyes closed tight.. It felt good having Holly touch her,but she was afraid.. Afraid her body would Betray her .. She took as many deep breath as she could begging her body not to flinch .. 

"Holly?" She calls out barely audible " touch me please?" 

Holly's head shot up. She wondered if she heard correctly " Gail!?"

"I need you" Gail whispered cupping Holly's face with her hand " put your hands on me please?" 

Holly as scared as she was in that moment wanted to be all Gail needed " ok" 

Gail leaned up from her position kissing Holly full on the mouth.. Her lips felt amazing... The pit of her stomach was burning .. She wanted Holly in every way possible.. "Hol" she whispered as she kissed her way down the brunettes neck " make love to me?" 

Holly pulled away standing up causing Gail to become self-concuss " you don't want to do you?" 

Holly shook her head hard " no.. No I mean yes .. Yes I want you .. My god I really want to, but!!" The brunettes bit on her bottom lip " I don't think you're ready Gail" 

Gail pulled Holly back onto her " I'm ready Holly" 

Holly swallows the lump in her throat " I'm scared "

Gail kissed her gently running her tongue across Holly's bottom lip.. " I'm scared too.. So let's just be scared together huh?" 

"What if you can't? 

"I'm ready Holly" Gail ask firmly " I want to make love to you .. I need you" 

Taking a deep breath and placing all her trust in Gail's word Holly gently nodded her head as she leaning in holding Gail by her waist and kissing her hard ... 

Touching Gail properly for the first time in months felt good to the Doctor .. She wasn't sure where they would go from this moment.. But she knew there was no way she was going to let it pass her by... If Gail was brave enough to take this huge leap then so was she...


	15. Chapter 15

HOW MUCH DO I SUCK AT UPDATES??.. Sorry it's been so long, I am gonna wrap this story up as well as the delinquents aunt on fanfic xx 

 

 

Gail lay on her stomach facing Holly as the brunette looked down at her, running her finger tips gently up and down the blonde's back.  
Their love making and been gentle but full of want and need, Gail had been nervous the whole way through, not scared nervous, nervous like it was the first time the two had sex... She missed how Holly knew every part of her, she knew exactly what she needed and where she loved to be touched.. Except this time her every touch was gentle and soft. 

Gail could feel the doctors hands shake the whole time, she knew Holly was afraid she would panic and push her away. 

Gail's smile hit her eyes for the first time in months and it melted Hollys heart . She didn't think she would ever be on the receiving end of one of those smiles ever again .. 

" playing hookie from work for mid-day sex" the brunette laughed as she rolled on to her back .  
" I'm not playing hooky, my shifts finished" Gail corrected her " you're the bad one Hols" 

Rolling her eyes Holly laughed shaking her head " well it's you who lured me here" 

"Lured?" Gail laughed " better then dragged kicking and screaming I guess" 

Holly turned to the blonde with a smile " I would have came either way" 

"You did.. Twice" Gail smirked kissing the brunette quickly ..

"Gail" Holly groaned into the blondes neck " you always have to ruin the moment" 

Gail shrugged kissing Holly's shoulder " I love you" 

"I love you" Holly whispered into the cops neck .

"So what happens now?" 

Holly raised her head to look at the blonde " what do you mean?" 

"I mean what happens now? I take it after what just happened we're back together?.. I'm better Holly" 

"I know you are honey, and you have no idea how happy that makes me, Gail, but we still have a long way to go, we have to get to know each other again," the Doctor swallowed fearing she may get Gail's back up . " we have to take things slowly"

Gail frowned " we do know each other! We've been together forever Holly, you know me better then even I know me, we have a kid together for god sakes" 

Holly watched as Gail got out of bed to retrieve her clothes .. " that's not what I meant, Gail , it's been months and separating broke both of us as well Soph .. We need time to fix that.."

Gail pulled her shirt on " ok so come home?" 

"Home?" Holly gasped

"Yeah " Gail shrugged " we can work on things better if we're together right? Come home!" 

"Holly suddenly felt the need to not be naked, leaning over to the chair near her bed to retrieve her dressing gown " Honey I don't think that's a good idea... Not yet" 

Gail watched Holly she could see how tense she had become, her eyes told the cop that she was fearing Gail's reaction.. She hated that the brunette felt that way .. She didn't want to handle the situation like she usually would .. Gail knew she couldn't throw a tantrum.. She had to be a grown up . 

Licking her bottom lip, now fully clothed she sigh " so how? How can we make this work if your here?, in a place you hate, a place you don't even call home" ?

"We do this!" Holly smiled brushing Gail's fringe out of her face " we spend time together , with and without Soph, we get back to how we were, I want that more then anything, I want you " 

Gail placed her hands on the brunettes hips" and I want you to come home" she whispered

"And I will Gail, I will, just not today ok?" 

Gail sighed heavily as she nodded " I guess you've been patient with me long enough, I have to do the same" 

"Listen!" Holly smiled pulling Gail into her arms " I would love nothing more then to wake up tomorrow morning and every morning for the rest of my life in our bed with you next to me.. But! I don't want us to rush into anything, I know you've done really well with Doctor Mason and I'm so proud of you, but it's not over Gail, we still have a long way to go, these last few months have been the worst ever and I never want to go through that again, so...." Smiled kissing the blonde's jaw " can we just take some time?.. Date again maybe? Have random mid-day sex" she chucked " play a little hooky" 

Gail laughed " your such a horn dog Stewart" 

"Only for you Peck! But seriously, please don't think I don't want to come home.. The lease on this place is up in two months, I think that's enough time for us to work on this" 

"Two months?" Gail sulked " that's eight weeks Hol" 

"Gail, it will fly by, and we need that time to do this right! Also we have to think of Soph, she's had a hard time with all this too" 

"Well if you come home she'll be happy" Gail argued 

"And if we're not ready then it will just confuse her again" 

"If I'm not ready you mean? Gail said.. 

Holly didn't want to lie to her girlfriend, she knew she had to be up front " Honey, you've been in a dark place for a long time, and us being here like this today is a huge step, but you're gonna have bad days still, sometimes you're going to want to be alone, take some time out," 

"Yeah I get it" Gail interrupted " you think I'll freak out on you again" 

"No! No Gail that's not what I'm saying, I'm saying lets just go slow, please understand where I'm coming from" 

Gail felt defeated, she knew Holly was right. She always is, sitting down the the bed she fiddled with her hands " I do, I just feel like I'm me again and I want my life back.. Every part of it, even Chloe annoying me daily" 

Holly laughed kneeling down in front of Gail " and you will have it back, we will be the family we were, the couple we were.. I promise" 

Gail nodded wiping a stray tear that had escaped " I know, I guess I'm just tired of missing us" 

"I am too honey" Holly smiled pulling Gail to her feet " although I am looking forward to getting to know us again, " she grinned placing a teasing kiss on Gail's pale lips " at least whilst I still have this place we have a base to meet, sneak around, it could be fun" 

"Oooo" Gail giggled against the brunettes lisp " keep talking" 

Holly ran her tongue across Gail's bottom lip " well if we don't tell anyone we're back together, it could be kinda fun sneaking around!"

"I'm liking that" Gail smiled as she kissed Holly's neck, sucking at her pulse point " you've convinced me" 

"Good" Holly said kissing the blonde's lips " although I think maybe it's a good idea for me to come over the house more so we can spend some time with Soph,"

"Good idea," Gail agreed " she'll like that" 

"So will I, so how does tonight sound?"

"As long as your cooking?" Gail laughed ..

"Deal! Ok I'm gonna have to go back to work if I wanna leave on time" Holly explained " you gonna give me a ride back?" 

.... 

 

Holly went back to work, wishing the day away so she could get back to Gail.. She couldn't peel herself away from the blonde once they pulled up at the morgue.. 

The sex she had with Gail wasn't like their usual love making it was more fragile but never less it was good.. Holly hadn't realised how much she needed that kind of release. .. A slight blush grow to her cheeks and she remembered Gail between her legs.. 

"Everything ok?" Lucy asked with a smile

"Mmmm" Holly nodded " everything is great" 

Lucy could see Holly was blushing and gathered by the smile on her bosses face things had gone well with Gail .. " it's nice to see you smile, and am I right in thinking Gail has that grin on her face too?" 

Holly laughed, she knew her and Gail we're going to keep it between them for now but she was bursting at the seams " Gail and I.. We uh.. Well we.. " 

"Oh I get it " Lucy laughed blushing herself " I'm really happy for you guys, and i mean that" 

"Thank you" Holly nodded " I think this is the start of some good things to come " 

" well you deserve it" Lucy smiled leaving Holly to answer phone as the message tone chimes .. 

GAIL- so I know we decided to keep this between us, but how do you suppose I hide the hickey on my neck??.. Xx

HOLLY- oops, I just hope no one tells your fiancé about it!!!!!! X

GAIL - you're hilarious Lunchbox, remind me to feed you before I take your pants off next. Xx

HOLLY- play your cards right and maybe you'll get to take them off again later . X

GAIL- cant sorry, family night tonight.. Xx

HOLLY - your loss X 

GAIL - not really have you seen my wife?.. She's a pretty big deal.. Xx

Holly laughed as she typed back ..

HOLLY - well she's a lucky son of a bitch X

GAIL - telling me .. I'm gettin Soph, see you soon xx

HOLLY - ok see you around six.. And I'm sorry about the hickey X 

GAIL - no your not!! Xx 

Lucy appeared back in the lab " why don't you get out of here? Go see your family?" 

Placing her phone back into her pocket " oh no I'm good, I have some paper work to do" 

"I'll do it" Lucy offered " go on, go " 

Holly didn't argue, she Hugged her intern and headed out as quickly as she could Heading to the grocery store, tonight she wanted to make Sophie's favourite dinner, a night in with her family was just the perfect ending to a perfect day . 

 

"Can we get ice cream?" Sophie asked as she bucked up. 

"Not tonight kid" Gail answered she pulled the car out of the parking space .. 

"Oh why not!" The girl sulked

"Because your mom is coming over to cook for us, that's why?" 

"Really?" Soph screeched " is she really?"

Gail laughed " yeah she really is.. And Soph listen! Moms gonna come over more often to spend time with us" 

"Are you guys getting back together? Is she coming home? Does that mean she doesn't have to stay in that apartment any more? Oh can we get a dog?" 

"Woah kid" Gail laughed " calm down a little, let's not get carried away ok! .. Mom and I will talk to you about it later ok.. And no to the dog" 

Soph slumped in her chair " we'll talk about it later" she muttered causing Gail to laugh under her breath ... 

Once the pair arrived home Soph became excited to see Hollys car already there " moms here already?" 

"Looks like it Gail frowned getting out of the car .. 

"Hey baby" Holly smiled as Soph ran into her wrapping her arms around her waist " good day at school?" 

"Same old" the girl shrugged " I'm getting changed I'll be right back" she called out as she ran up the stairs .. 

"Hey" Gail smiled..

"Hi" Holly smiled back biting her bottom lip " I hope this ok? I mean letting myself in"

Gail placed a kiss to the brunettes lips " it's your home, and I'm glad your here" 

Holly grinned with a slight blush " Lucy kinda knows about us, I know we said we would tell anybody right now but.. Well apparently the stupid grin on my face gave it away" 

" stupid grin huh?" Gail teased ..

Holly shoved her gently " shut up" 

"So what did she say?" 

"She said she was happy for us and kicked me out of the lab," 

"I'm liking her more and more each day" Gail laughed placing another kiss on Hollys cheeks " so I think we need to tell Soph something, maybe not that we're back together, but maybe that were working things out" 

"Sounds good to me" Holly agreed handing Gail a glass of wine .. 

"Man I've missed coming home to your cooking, Soph and I have been starving for months" 

Holly laughed rolling her eyes " your such a guy Gail" 

"What are we having?" Sophie asked before Gail could response .. 

"Well I thought I would make your favourite " Holly answered 

"Chicken and Mediterranean vegetables?" Soph asked excited ..

"Yep" 

Gail groaned " why can't you eat like a normal kid? What kid like vegetables?" 

"I like ice cream too" Sophie grinned " we could have that after?" 

"Maybe" Holly laughed " why don't you go set the table?" 

"Ok! Then we can talk about things" Soph said with a smile.. Causing Holly to frown at Gail .. 

"Bets me" Gail shrugged "she's a smart kid what can I say?" 

Dinner was in full swing with the three of them laughing and joking .. Gail decided to get the talk out the way.. " ok Soph" she spoke clearing her throat " mom and I wanna talk to you real quick" 

Sophie nodded " go ahead" 

Holly laughed as she sipped her wine "well your mom and I have decided that we all need to spend some time together" 

"Like when grandma and pops were here?" 

"Yeah like that" Gail nodded " mom and I have decided that now is a good time for us to start fixing our family" 

"So you are getting back together?" The girl grinned, her eyes full of hope. 

"Yes" Holly smiled 

"Yes" Sophie fist pumped " when are you coming home?" 

"Not yet baby" Holly said sadly " mom and I are back together but we are taking things slowly, we have a little way to go before I can come home for good" ..

Gail swallows the lump in her throat at seeing the disappointment in Sophie's eyes " but hey"! She smiled taking the girls hand " moms gonna be here a lot more now, and we are gonna be like we use to be, it's just that mom has to stay at the apartment because the lease isn't up yet "

"Will you stay over sometime?" 

Holly looked at Gail for an answer before she answered .. " if mom wants to then I think that would be cool" Gail smiled hoping she hadn't put Holly in an awkward position .. 

" I would love to have sleep overs here" Holly smiled " but maybe we should keep it for weekends huh? You can still come stay with me in the week and I'll be over all the time" 

Sophie sighed but forced a smile " and you guys won't fight no more?" 

"No baby" Holly answered " no more fighting" 

" Soph things aren't going to be back to the way they were over night ok?" Gail explained " we need you to be patient, and give mom and I time to work on us, do you think you can do that!" 

"Yup, I can wait as long as there's no more fighting " 

"We have our word" Gail promised "also can we keep this between us? Mom and I don't want the added pressure of people knowing , so no telling any of your aunts or uncles ok?"

"Or grandparents " Holly added . 

"So it's a secret?" Sophie asked "I can do that!" 

"good girl" Gail smiled patting the child's hand .. 

"So now we had that talk I would like to talk to you both about something?" 

Gail and Holly have each other a confused look .. " ok?" 

Sophie smiled " so at school today we had a lady come in from a animal shelter" 

Gail rolled her eyes knowing where this talk was going .. 

" and she was telling us about how many animals are left alone, so owners take their pets there because they can't look after them too " Sophie continued 

"Soph I hate to interrupt but your not having a dog" Gail said shutting her daughter down . 

"I haven't finished my speech" Sophie argued .. 

Holly laughed " go on Soph" 

Sophie sat up in her seat " so today I met a dog called Bruno and his owner left him tired up outside all alone and a member of the public took him to the shelter, I think that's really sad, it made me think about what would have happened to me if you guys didn't adopted me" 

Gail scoffed rolling her eyes, she knew Sophie was playing her and Holly using the guilt card, a move Gail was completely aware of .. Holly on the other hand was a sucker for Sophie's sad eyes and was easily swayed .. 

" maybe I would of been left alone and scared" the child continued " Im lucky that you both love me very much and wanted me to be apart of your family, Bruno doesn't have someone to love him like that, and I think because I was an orphan like him ..I could look after him and give him a loving home just like you did to me" 

Gail looked over at Holly who had tears in her eyes " oh cmon! Please don't tell me your falling for that shi.... Crap... Hols the kid playing you" 

"Gail!" 

Gail laughed " my god you're soft.. Nice try Soph, but we ain't home enough for a dog" 

"Please?" Soph begged " I will take care of him" 

" Honey! Moms right, we have such a busy life it wouldn't be fair on Bruno to be stuck inside on his own all the time" Holly said trying to soften the blow. 

Soph sunk into her chair trying her luck one last time " I know what it feels like to think no one will come for you, I just don't want him to be sad " 

Holly gasped looking at Gail wth pleading eyes .. " Gail?" 

"No!" Gail said firmly " maybe once we are all settled and everything is back to normal then we can talk about it, maybe you can get a rabbit or something" 

"No thanks" Sophie sulked " may I be excused?" 

Holly nodded feeling bad for her baby girl, once she was out of ear shot the brunette turned to the blonde .. " would it be so bad if she had a pet?" 

"Yes!" Gail answered picking up the plates taking them to the kitchen " it will shit everywhere, probably chew everything and bark all the time, Soph will get bored of him and who's left to care for it??.. You" 

"Me?" Holly laughed " why me?" 

" do I look like someone who's willing to shovel shit Hol?" 

" and I do?" Holly asked in amusement .

"No but you got that who nurturing, caring thing going on" Gail laughed "plus don't we have enough on our hands right now?" 

" I just don't think we should dismiss it" 

Gail rolled her eyes " she has you wrapped around that little finger of hers , well and truly " 

"Yeah yeah so what" Holly sulked "get and do the dish, I'm gonna go console our daughter" .. 

"Yeah! And after that you can come console me," Gail teased .. 

Holly laughed heading upstairs "Not to night Peck, family night remember" ..


	17. Chapter 17

Gail and Holly had decided that it would be better if Holly didn't stay over in the week but after four days in Holly was sat lounging on the couch while Gail cooked dinner, Gail had pestered her all week to stay over, so there she was.. Glass of wine in hand waiting for Sophie to come home from her friends .. 

"She's been sulking over the orphaned dog business " Gail explained as she popped open some red wine to go with dinner .

"Would it be so bad?" 

"Hol, think about it? We struggle to find someone to watch Sophie sometimes, our jobs are to conflicted to have a pet, especially a dog, they need care and attention, she'll want it to sleep upstairs, it will leave its hair all over the place, they smell, their messy" 

"What we taking you or the dog?" Holly teased cashing Gail to give her the death stare.. 

"Do you wanna be fed tonight?" She asked walking over to the laughing doctor " don't make me spit in your food" 

Holly laughed harder pulling the blonde down on top of her, kissing her passionately " you wouldn't do that to me would you?" 

"We'll keep kissing me like that and I won't" Gail giggled placing her lips to Hollys again 

" what would I have to do to you to get you to think about this dog"? 

"Mmmmm" Gail teased kissing Holly on the neck " what you got in mind?" 

"I'm home" came a voice from the hall way.

"Perfect timing as ever kid" Gail groaned getting up off of Holly. 

"Hey baby" Holly grinned

" Hi Mom" Sophie replied " how come your here?" 

"Gee thanks honey" Holly sulked expecting her daughters usual excitement to see her " I thought I would come over and spend some time with my favourite people" 

Sophie smiled " cool, I'll go wash up for dinner" 

"What is that?" Holly asked confused as she watched Sophie head upstairs 

"Told ya" Gail shrugged " this is what she's been like since we said no to the dog" 

" you said no, not we" Holly reminded the blonde " I really think we should think about it" 

" what so because she sulks she gets her own way?... Hell no" 

Holly nodded she knew Gail was right, she just hated seeing how unhappy Sophie was .. 

Dinner consist of one word answered from Sophie everyone one of her mothers asked her something, which was annoying Gail, which hasn't gone unnoticed by Holly, who shook her head at the blonde to tell her to let it go ... 

"So Sophie I was thinking when you come over to the apartment tomorrow we can start packing up some stuff," Holly suggested " now that I'm home more it's pointless us having so much lying around" 

"Can you adopted another child"? The girl asked seriously 

Gail choked on her wine " where did that come from?"

Sophie shrugged looking at a shocked Holly " well we aren't home enough for me to have a dog and I feel pretty lonely not having any company of my own, so if maybe I had a little brother or sister I would have, they would go to school like me so it doesn't matter that we aren't home" 

Holly placed her hand on to the small girls "Honey" 

" oh for god sake" Gail had enough " Soph if we said no to a dog what makes you think we would agree to another kid?"

"Gail" Holly didn't like how easily Gail was dismissing their daughter 

No Hol, I can see right through this crap, she thinks if she makes us feel bad we'll give in and get her the stupid dog" 

"He's not stupid" Sophie snapped leaving the table and running to her room. 

"Nice one Gail, you handled that really well" 

"What so you think us having another kid or getting a dog is a good idea?" Gail asked 

"Well no, I mean we always talked about more kids" Holly reminded the blonde.

"Yeah before everything happened, before we separated and we said after we were married, not because Sophs having a sulk" 

"I just think your being to hard on her" 

Gail shrugged " I'm not being hard on her Hol, I'm just not letting her thing she can have what she wants when she wants it"

Gail could see in Holly was struggling and didn't want to upset her more " look I don't mean to play bad cop here ok, I love that kid more then life itself but look at us, we're hardly in a position to even think about another kid, or a dog for that matter, you're still living where you are and we still have a long way to go relationship wise," 

Holly sighed she knew Gail was right " I just think that all this has taken its toll on her, I think she's confused and maybe she is a little lonely" 

Gail drummed her fingers on the table " we are here for her as much as we can be, our parents spoil the shit out of her, she has Leo, she's not lonely" 

"You don't know that!" Holly argued " she's had her whole life turned upside down more then once , losing her mother, almost then losing you, me moving out, we don't know what really goes on in her head Gail, maybe a dog wouldn't be so bad" 

Gail knew Holly was right and her heart broke for her daughter " Fine" Gail shrugged " you move back home and we'll get a dog" 

"What?" 

Gail Sipped her wine with a smile " move back home and we'll get a dog" 

"That's blackmail" Holly stated 

"Yeah" Gail nodded " take it or leave it Stewart " I'm not being left to care for a smelly dog, I've barely kept Soph alive since you left" 

Holly shook her head " Gail"

"Hey it's not me that's on the guilt trip from her upstairs, I'll happily let her sulk till she realises she's not gonna win" 

... 

Holly laid awake most of the night thinking about what Gail had proposed, when she went to tuck Sophie in she found her asleep with a picture of her birth mother and it broke her heart, Sophie had been through a rough time in her little life and it killed Holly to think maybe she is being genuine, maybe she is lonely. 

"Sleep Hol" Gail muttered wrapping her arm around the brunette ..

"I can't shut off, I'm worried about Soph" 

Gail sighed " so what we're suppose to just give in? Even though it adds more strain on our lives as it is?" 

"No! I just don't think it's that big a deal" 

"My god" Gail moaned " fine she can have the dog if it means that much to you" 

" so when I come home she can have one?" 

"Whatever just go back to sleep" Gail moaned " I'm not picking up no shit, so you've been warned "

Holly nestled into the blondes neck " thank you" 

.... 

Gail called the pound only to find out Bruno had been adopted by a young family " well thats that then" 

Tilting her head looking unimpressed Holly looked at her Fiancé 

"What? She wanted the dog because he was alone, now he's not so?" 

"And you think that will stop her from wanting a pet?"

"Soon find out?" Gail answered biting her bottom lip .. 

 

Sophie was quiet most of the evening she spent at Holly's, " you ok in here?" The brunette asked as she watched Sophie pack up her room .. 

"Yeah, i think it's probably easier to pack all this away now, I don't really play with these toys, maybe we can take them some other kids who dont have any?" 

"I think that's a really nice thing to do Honey" Holly smiled at her daughters kindness " I think so little girl would love to have a doll to call their own " 

What would have happened to me if you and mom didn't take me in?" Sophie asked sadly which made Holly's eyes instantly fill up . 

" would I be in a children's home?" 

Holly took a seat on the floor next to Sophie pulling her on to her lap " there was never any chance of you going into a children's home baby, your mom wouldn't have stood for that" 

"But I would have if Gail didn't find me, if someone else had found my mother" 

" as sad as it was that your mother died, everything happens for a reason, Gail was meant to find you, you were meant to be in our lives Soph" 

Sophie wiped a stray tear from her cheek " I'm sorry I've been a pain" 

Holly laughed chocking back her own tears " your never a pain baby, and I know it's been tough on you, and I wish I could take all that way from you, but sadly I can't, all I can do is make the rest of your life better, and me and mom promise you from the bottom of our hearts that's we will do our best to give you the best life possible,"

"Like you promised my mother the first time we visited her grave?" Sophie asked 

" yeah just like that" Holly smiled " I never want to be the reason you're sad ever again," 

Sophie smiled wrapping her arms around her mom " I love you" 

"I love you more" Holly sobbed into the girls braids " and listen" she recovered " mom called the pound today to check in on Bruno and he's found himself a loving family to take him home" 

"Really!" Sophie asked happily " that's awesome, I mean I would have like to have taken him home but I'm glad he's found a family to love him" 

"Me too baby" 

.... 

Once Sophie was sound asleep Holly searched the Internet to see what kind of animals needed a forever home, tonight made her realises that Sophie truly did need someone or something that was just her's. She knew Gail would Sulk but when it came down to it she always caved and gave in to herself and Sophie.... Looking around her small apartment she sighed heavily, she didn't know why she was still there, maybe she was slightly afraid Gail would panic and things would fall apart again, but Gail was showing her that wasn't gonna be the case and of the last few private encounters they've shared are anything to go by she was sure Gail was feeling herself again.. 

As Holly browsed the orphaned dogs one caught her eye... 

Rookie age 2.. Rookie is a German Shepherd, he's loyal and gentle but has an playful side, he is protective of his handler and need a family who can give me the love and attention he needs to blossom, he can live with children and has a health appetite.. 

Holly laughed " a dog version on Gail? Perfect," she said to herself as she clicked on the " take me home" button ... 

"What's that?" Sophie asked rubbing her eyes .

"You still awake? Holly asked lifting her daughter to her lap .

"Couldn't sleep, what are you looking at?"

Holly licked her bottom lip and smiled " that baby girl is your new dog hopefully?" 

"What?" Sophie gasped suddenly fully awake.. 

" yeah His names rookie which I think is fitting being as mom is a cop,"

"Mum said no though" Sophie said sadly.. 

"Well!! I think it's time that I come home" Holly explained " and mommy won't stand a chance against both of us will she?" 

"Your coming home? Like now?" 

"Yeah like tomorrow" Holly smiled " I wanna be home with you and mom, and if rookie here comes to live with us, I'll have to be there to help you care for him won't I?" 

Sophie squeezed her mom really hard " I love you mommy, I'm so happy" 

"Me too baby.. Me too" Holly replied " just lets not tell mom about rookie just yet huh? And let's not get our hopes up, he might have already found a home" .. 

"Ok!" Soph grinned " but if I can't have a dog I don't mind, not if your home, you, me and momma together is enough for me"


	18. Chapter 18

Once Holly got to work she checked her emails to see if the shelter had replied to her interest in Rookie... 

Email- Toronto dog rescue.. 

Rookie is still available for his forever home.  
Please contact us to arrange a visit. 

 

Holly smiled. She knew Sophie would be ecstatic knowing he could possibly be hers..

Last night the two of them sat and looked though pictures and videos of Rookie, he had the cutest face and Sophie loved his his ears flipped over at the top .. 

Holly decided to send them a quick email back explaining how she was busy with work today and needed to arrange with her family when would be the best time to visit Rookie.. the shelter agreed to reserve the German Shepard for a few days, which meant the brunette had time to work her magic on a certain blonde cop .. 

Talking of said cop ...

"Hey!" She smiled as she entered Holly's lab " Soph get off to school ok?" She asked placing a small kiss to the Pathologist's lips.

"Hi" Holly smiled enjoying the closeness " yeah she was fine, she's packed her stuff up and has a few toys she wants to take to the children's centre" 

" she feeling ok?" Gail frowned " Sophie doesn't like to part with her toys" 

"I know" Holly laughed " I don't know,I think the whole dog things got her thinking about how fortunate she is" 

Gail shrugged leaning over to kiss Holly again, " why do I feel like the only conversation I've had lately is about dogs?" 

"Mmmm" Holly hummed " talking of dogs" 

"Oh here we go" Gail sulked rolling her eyes.

Holly turned her laptop around so Gail could see " his names Rookie" 

Gail looked at the screen seeing the German Shepard staring back at her, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he looked deep into the camera .

"Fitting name don't you think?" Holly smiled 

"What did you do?" 

"Ok don't go all Gail on me but... I might have reserved him" Holly said slowly 

"Oh Holly" Gail groaned.

"I know it's a big deal and I know I should have talked to you first, but I was just looking online and he came up" 

"Looking online" Gail asked " wouldn't happen to have been on the dog rescue page then no?" 

Holly laughed " look at him Honey, he's so cute" 

" they're all cute till they start shitting everywhere" Gail argued 

"Well he's two Gail, so he's house trained, he's been created as well so he can't chew or ransack the house .. don't you think it's a coincidence that he's a German Shepard and called Rookie?" 

"No!" Gail argued " I think that he happened to need a home the same time you looked up. Orphaned dogs" 

Holly pulled the blonde on to her lap, kissing her cheek..

"That isn't going to work Stewart" Gail warned " and I said we could get a dog when you come home, your lot leaving me with two kids, it's just not happening" 

"Ok!" Holly smiled 

"Ok what?" Gail frowned 

"Ok I'll come home! How does tonight sound?" Holly asked biting her bottom lip..

Gail jumped up off her lap " are you serious?"

Wrapping her arms around the blonde with a smile Holly nodded " I miss you and Soph, the more I'm at my apartment.. the more I ask myself why, I mean we're gonna have to pay the lease out, but yes.... yes I want come home" 

Gail's lips come crashing down on to the brunettes, Holly didn't think her body could be any closer to Gail's if they tried.. the kiss was deep and passionate which made the Doctors heart begin to race .. 

"Wow" she gasped as they pulled apart..

" I love you" Gail whispered kissing her again " I love you so much, and I promise.. I promise when you come home things are going to be just like they use to be.. no, better in fact" 

Holly laughed with tears in her eyes " I know, I think we've wasted enough time apart, and I love you too!" 

Gail shook her head wiping a stray tear that fell from her eyes " you have no idea how happy this makes me nerd, Sophie's gonna freak out" she laughed 

"Soph already knows" Holly smiled "but she also knows about Rookie" 

Gail rolled her eyes " fine" she sighed " arrange a meeting with the hairy, simple looking thing" 

"Yes" Holly cheered clapping her hands together " this is awesome" 

Gail frowned shaking her head " remind me how awesome it is when he's peeing all over the house and he eats your favourite shoe" 

"He's not a small puppy Honey, he's pasted all that, he'll be fine" 

"Mmmm" Gail nodded " if you say so, I have to go back to work" 

"Ok" Holly nodded kissing her women on more time " I'll text you about Rookie" 

"Whatever" Gail moaned as she left the lab.. Holly couldn't believe how easy it was to sway the blonde.. Sophie was gonna be so happy and that's all that mattered to Holly.. 

... 

 

"What's that?" Andy asked as she sat next to Gail who's attention was on the computer in front of her .. 

"Soph and the nerd have ganged up on me for this little cretin" she moaned showing Andy .

"A dog?.. aww how cute is he? Oh and he's called Rookie? That's awesome" 

Gail looking unamused shook her head " you're as sappy as they are, look at him? He's hairy as hell, he looks stupid, his ears flop to the side and he looks like trouble" 

 

Andy sat and read the profile at the bottom of Rookies picture " says he's from a long line of police dogs, that's gotta be a bonus right? Oh and it says he's loyal to his handler, he loves kids but will need a strong minded owner who can handle his energetic attitude" 

Andy began to laugh " I can see why Holly chose him.. he's a mutt version of you" 

"What?" Gail spat 

"Yeah look, he's parents are cops, like you, he's very loyal, like you and he needs a someone strong minded to handle him , that's Holly, she's the only one that can handle you" 

"Go away McNally" Gail fumed 

Andy laughed again tapping Gail's shoulder " ok I'll leave you alone ..... Rookie" she teased running away fearing Gail might chase her.. 

.......... 

 

Gail- that dog is not a four legged version of me!!!!!!! :( x

 

Holly read the message and laughed out loud.. 

Holly- what do you mean? :) x 

Gail knew Andy was right and she knew Holly was playing dumb ..

Gail- I hate you and that dog x 

Holly- and I love you and so will Rookie :) 

Gail- Your lucky you're moving home tonight or I might have dumped you for this x 

Holly - as if xxx see you later x 

 

..... 

Can we get him a collar? And a tag that says Rookie on it? " Sophie asked jumping up and down as Holly tried to load her car with her belongings 

"Ok firstly you need to calm down Honey! Secondly let's meet Rookie first ok? Moms still not overly happy about the thought of him as it is," 

"I know but I'm just so excited" Sophie cheered " can he sleep in my room?"

"No!" Holly said firmly as she watches Gail pulled up " ok calm it down moms here" 

"Ok I'm here!" Gail smiled as she gets out her car popping the trunk " what?" She frowned looking at a suspicious Sophie .

"Nothing!" The girl and Holly said in unison " ok so I'm loaded up, I just need the boxes by the door put into your car and the rest Chris has offered to pick up in his truck, saves us more trips" 

"The boys good for something's" Gail shrugged " ok let's get you home" she winked .. 

Holly looked down and smiled at her grinning daughter " remember what I said ok?" 

Sophie nodded climbing into the car. 

"You gonna miss this place?" Gail asked as her and Holly picked up the last of the boxes.

"Uh no" Holly laughed " this was never place was nothing more the four walls to me Gail" 

"Good " the blonde smiled " lets go home" 

Holly nodded closing the door not looking back, she never wanted to enter that apartment ever again.. she was going home and she knew it was for good this time . 

...... 

 

Once Holly's things were finally back at their family home, she set about ordering some food in, "pizza?" Sophie and Gail called out.. 

"You know that's gonna stop now I'm home right?" Holly warned folding her arms looking at her family.. 

"We can have it sometimes though right?" Sophie asked 

"Yeah once a week like before, I have a strange feeling the two of you probably know the delivery guys name by now" 

"No we don't" Gail argued 

"Yeah his name isn't Jeff, right mom?" Sophie smiled looking at Gail, who nudged her into silence ..

"Kids taking b.s" Gail shrugged opening the box at her feet " can't say I've missed this" she moaned pulling out Holly's juicer " please don't make me drink anything made in this" 

Sophie shook her head at her mom turning to Holly " maybe if you added cheese puffs to it?" 

"Maybe" Holly laughed ruffling Gail's hair " I'll order pizza, Sophie why don't you grab a shower while we wait?" 

 

"Bossing your around already" Gail teased quietly .  
"I don't mind" Sophie said poking her tongue out " it's you who's gonna be having green juice for breakfast from now on, not me" 

 

Gail pushed her daughter " go take a shower your brat".. 

Holly loved watching Gail and Sophie interact, it was mostly arguing but it made being home feel more real, the brunette couldn't wait to settle back into family life with the two people who mean the most to her . 

" you sure you wanna do this?" Gail asked pulling Holly from her thoughts. 

"There's no where else I'd rather be" was Holly answer " you sure you're ready?"

Gail walked over to Holly lifting her up on to the kitchen counter so she could stand in between her legs " this is all I want" she smiled running her hands up the doctors thighs kissing her neck " me, you, soph, our beautiful home," 

"And rookie" ? Holly asked. 

"And the moments ruined" Gail sighed pulling away 

" aww cmon" Holly laughed pulling the blonde back in wrapping her legs around her waist " you might even like him" 

"Doubt it!" Gail replied " I do however like this" she grinned pulling Holly closer kissing her neck . 

"Oh man" Sophie sulked holding her hands over her eyes " I certainly haven't missed witnessing this" 

Gail and Holly laughed pulling away from each other, Gail helping Holly off the unit " well kid get use to it" Gail smiled pulling Sophie in for a hug. 

.. 

"Pizzas here" Holly stated as the door bell rang out through the house. 

"I got it" Gail said grabbing her wallet off the kitchen unit ..

"I'm glad your home momma" Sophie smiled wrapping her arms around her mother " even if you do stop me having junk food" 

"I'm glad to be here baby" Holly smiled laughing a little squeezing the child " let's eat huh?"


	19. Chapter 19

Gail pulled up outside the dog rescue centre, which sent Sophie's excitement into over drive, much to the blonde's annoyance.

"We're here, we're here " the girl sang out in the back seat.. 

Holly couldn't help but laugh at her daughter, squeezing Gail's hand " cmon don't be so sulky"

"I'm not" Gail argued turning off the engine waiting for Sophie and Holly to get out of the car " I hope he's a beast" she says to herself.. she really didn't want a dog, but two against one was a losing battle. 

"Cmon ma" Sophie called out .. 

"Hi guys" a smiley women appeared being Holly and Sophie " you must be Holly?"

"Yes! Hi" Holly smiled shaking the women's hand. "This is my partner Gail"

Gail waved fiddling with her car keys .

"And this overly excited little thing here is Sophie" Holly smiled hugging her daughter .

"I'm Susan, it's great to meet you all , So are you all looking forward to meeting Rookie?" The women asked enthusiastically. 

"I am, I am" Sophie jumped up and down causing the women to laugh. 

"Ok then lets go" 

Sophie quickly followed the lady asking a load of questions while Gail dragged her feet.. 

"Cmon Honey, you can at least meet him" Holly sighed knowing Gail really didn't want to be there. 

" shell I jump up and down like a lunatic? Would that help?" She asked sarcastically causing Holly to roll her eyes .. 

Oh my!" Sophie gasped " look at him! He's so cute" she swooned at the kennel Rookie was in .. 

There he was, wagging his tail, trying his hardest to get a sniff of Sophie who had crouched down to see him better " he likes me" 

"Wow! He's bigger then I thought he would be?" Holly said 

"German Shepard don't stay small for long" the women laughed " Rookie here though is very much a puppy still , he's a cheeky chap" 

"Is that code for a handful?" Gail asked bluntly 

"I wouldn't say handful" Susan replied " he just needs to know who his master is, a lot of the time dogs will chose their master with in the household... why don't we take Rookie for a walk and you Can get aquatinted?" 

"Yes please" Sophie clapped " I would love that" 

Holly looked at Gail " don't look at me" the blonde said " you're the one doing all his care"  
Holly rolled her eyes as she set off in the direction Sophie, Rookie and Susan headed .. 

" so how did Rookie end up here?" Holly asked the women.. 

"Well Rookie comes from a long line of police dogs, unfortunately Rookie here was the baby of the litter and his left paw is a little shorter then the rest if you look " Susan explained " he walks a little to the side, so he didn't make cop school" 

That's so sad" Sophie sulked stroking Rookies head " it doesn't worry me that you aren't perfect" she smiled at the puppy 

Susan smiled at the gentleness of the young girl " shell I take him off the leash and you can go play"?

"Yes please!" Sophie grinned waiting impatiently .. 

Gail had taken a seat at the far end of the bench they had stopped at letting Holly do all the talking.. 

"So yes" Susan continued as she let Rookie go " he stayed with the officer who cares for his mother but it wasn't practical, once Rookie comes of maturity age, he may try to mate with his mother, so here he is" 

"Oh that's kinda sad" Holly said " watching as Rookie ran after Sophie " so temperament wise?" 

"He's great, as you can see he loves kids, he loves to run around, he's a good eater" 

"Expensive then" Gail groaned, Holly deciding to ignore her.. 

" he's gently, he is obedient, but he will try to push his luck " Susan laughed " I'll be honest he's one of my favourites, I'll be sad to see him go" 

"Well Sophie seems sold" Holly laughed watching Rookie hold on to the girl sleeve .. 

Sophie began to head back towards her parents when Rookie noticed Gail, he ran towards her, stopping in front of her, lifting his paw . 

"He's saying hi mom" Sophie laughed .

Rolling her eyes Gail looked at the dog, he was sat to attention, his head tilted to the left, his tongue hanging out and them stupid ears flopping to the side " hi Rookie " Gail said unenthusiastically.. 

Rookie wasn't giving up, he sat closer to Gail, leaning him front paws down so his back end was in the air, he barked a little. 

" I think he wants you to play!" Susan laughed as did Holly . 

"I'm not the playful type" Gail sighed trying to move away from the dog..  
Didn't work.. Rookie belly crawled closer, sniffing Gail's shoes, barking again.

"Yeah ok" Gail said looking at the dog " what do you want?" 

Rookie sat up, strong and tall placing his paw on Gail's knee " thanks" Gail moaned at the dirt on her jeans .. Rookie then placed his other paw on Gail's other thigh so he was stood on his back legs. 

"Down" Gail warned.. rookie instantly sat to attention again .. 

"I think i know who his boss would be" Susan smiled causing Holly to nod. 

"He likes you" Sophie smiled sitting next to her mother " like he really likes you" 

Gail signed heavily as rookie took his leash off the table and laid it in the blonde's lap. 

"Oh" Susan laughed " I forgot to say he knows a trick or two, he'll let you know when he wants a walk" 

"He wants you to take him mom" Sophie giggled 

"You take him" Gail said handing the leash to her daughter causing Rookie to tilt his head . 

" no he's asking you" Sophie laughed again clipping the leash onto Rookies collar and handing it to the blonde .. 

"For god sakes" Gail moaned standing up " he's already taking over my life" she sighed walking off .. 

"Gail's not exactly sold on the whole dog idea just yet" Holly explained to Susan .

"I see" the women's laughed " can I ask what attached you to Rookie?" 

" his name for one" Holly smiled watching as Rookie walked by Gail's side . 

"Gail's a cop" the brunette continued " so it was kind of fitting, that and reading his profile kinda reminded me of her " 

Susan laughed " well I got to say he seems to like her, he's also a very lovable hound so I'm sure it won't take long for Gail to fall in love with him should you take him home" 

"What do you think Soph?" Holly asked 

" I love him, I think he should come home wit us" 

Holly watched Gail for a moment longer, she seemed at ease with Rookie, not that she would admit it herself " I think so too" 

.... 

 

"Ok mutt" Gail spoke looking down at Rookie who healed at her side " it looks like those two over there are gonna wanna take you home, so there are some things you need to know, rules too .. one- don't even think about taking a shit anywhere in my house, two- I'm the boss at home, even though it may not seem like it sometimes! I am, three- I won't be playing with you so you can stop this little show you got going on, four - bedrooms are off limits especially mine and Holly's, five - they are my people, not yours ok? Don't think you can move into my house and take over, I'll provide you with food and somewhere to sleep, I may even walk you when no one else is around to do it, I may also just throw you out in the back yard depends on my mood, and just so you know, we won't be friends, I don't even like the friends I have so I don't want any new ones got it?" 

Rookie barked holding his paw out to Gail who took it briefly " deal?.. good, do not go back on your word cause I'll bring your ass right back here" 

Rookie barked again rolling over causing Gail to roll her eyes.. 

" it's Rookie's dinner time" Holly smiled from behind Gail who handed the leash back to Susan .

" So what's the verdict"? The women asked smiling as Sophie who had her hands in the praying position " momma?" 

"Whatever," Gail shrugged " he's not the only one who's hungry" she added heading back to the car. 

"I think that's a yes" Holly laughed 

" Yes" Sophie cheered hugging the tail wagging pooch .. 

"Awesome" Susan smiled " ok well it takes around two weeks for the adoption to go through then he's all yours, I'll call you sometime next week for you to come by and fill all the forms out, someone will stop by your house to make sure it's adequate for a dog and then you will be the proud owners in his little fella" 

Rookie barked licking Sophie's face .  
"Gross " she giggled wiping his saliva away " I can't wait for you to come home Rookie" .. 

.... 

Gail was sat in the car waiting for her family who finally after twenty minutes got into the car " so it takes around two weeks before we can take him home" Holly explained . 

"Joyful" Gail sighed starting the car. 

" can we go to the pet store and get everything we need?" Sophie asked still excited .

"Maybe next weekend honey ok?" Holly answered turning to Gail " he really likes you" 

" he's your dog nerd, as long as you two remember that when it's raining or snowing and he wants walked then I'm happy" 

Holly winked at Sophie through the mirror in front of her " he's gonna be just fine right soph?" 

" Right" the young girl agreed ... 

.... 

 

"Abigail" Elaine Peck called out in to the locker room " are you in here?" 

"If I say no will you leave?" Gail called back.

"Every funny Gail" Elaine said rolling her eyes " how's my grand baby? I feel like I haven't seen her in ages?" 

"Soph's good," Gail nodded " even better now Holly's moved back in" 

"She has?" Elaine grinned " oh Honey that's great news, just don't mess up again" 

Rolling her eyes Gail chose not to argue back " they got a dog, well they're adopting a dog, he moves in, in two weeks" 

" a dog? Elaine raised her eyebrows " you're not a lover of animals Gail? I'm surprised" 

"Yeah well I live with two every convincing females" the blonde laughed placing her things in her holdall bag " he's called Rookie, he's a German Shepard " 

"Fitting" Elaine smiled " and if guessing Sophie is over the moon about it"?

"Yup" 

"Well I'm glad things are working out for you all Gail, these last few months haven't been easy for you, I'm glad your getting back to your old self" 

"Wow Elaine" Gail laughed " was that you actually being nice to me?" 

"Oh behave, I'm always nice " Elaine smirked " anyways I just wanted to check in and let you know I'm here if you need anything" 

Gail nodded as she picked up bag " actually mom, how would you like to have Sophie tonight?" 

"Over night?" Elaine asked 

"Yeah" Gail shrugged " I mean you just said you haven't seen her in a while. 

"Your father and i would love too " Elaine smiled " I'll ask Tracy for Leo too, I'm sure her and Steve would like a night off" 

"Awesome" Gail smiled " thanks I'll drop her off around six " 

"Nonsense, I will collect her from school, her and Leo have everything they need for a sleep over at our house, why don't you do something nice with Holly" 

" I plan on it" Gail smiled " thanks mom" 

" you're welcome, and Gail?" 

"Mmmm"? 

" it's nice to hear you call me mom" Elaine smiled leaving Gail alone in the locker room. 

"Weird" .. 

 

Gail let Holly know Sophie wouldn't be home by text, stating that her mother had offered to have the child rather then been asked .. 

Gail had something she had been waiting to talk to Holly about since they got back together, there just never seemed to be the right time.. tonight however was different, Tonight for the first time in a while they would be alone. 

 

"Tracy" the blonde called out jogging to catch up with the detective .. 

" ah Gail" the dark skinned women smiled " I guess I have you to thank for my child free night" 

"Yeah" Gail smiled " you're welcome, anyways I need a favour" 

"Sure!" 

Gail rubbed her finger at the back of her ear lobe,something she did when she was nervous " I need to leave early today, I have something I need to do, so I need you to cover for me, tell Oliver you sent me on errands or something" 

"Can I ask why?" Tracy asked being nosy

"No!" Gail answered bluntly " so can you cover me?" 

" well as Steve is taking me out for a romantic meal tonight and I have you to thank for that, I guess I can" Tracy smiled. 

"Thanks Nash" Gail smiled hitting the detective on the back " you're the best, see you tomorrow" 

.. 

5.45pm .. Holly made it home a little earlier then usual and as it was just her and Gail she decided maybe they could eat out instead of cook, she felt a little tired, work was picking up and she had been on her feet all day, 

Once she showered she sat on her bed starting up her laptop, work never seemed to stop even when she was off the clock, emails had to be sent, case files signed off, calls to return, she needed a vacation and thought maybe she would ask Gail about taking one now things between them were better... 

 

Once Gail slopped off work early she had just enough time to make it into town before the stores closed , she need to purchase something special for her little talk with Holly later that evening .. she knew Holly had a tough day so took it upon herself to grab them Holly's favourite Thai takeout before heading home .. 

 

Once she got home the house was lightly lite.. usually Sophie would have every light in the house on, but tonight it was just a small lamp In the living room area and the stair lights .. assuming Holly was upstairs Gail flipped off her work boots and jacket, leaving the food in the kitchen and took the stairs two at a time .. 

"Hol?" She called out "you up here? 

Stopping at the bedroom door, Gail couldn't help but smile, Holly was sat up in the bed asleep, her glasses pulled up on top of her head, she looked peaceful and Gail was sure that was a small smile on her lips .. as much as Gail didn't want to wake the brunette she knew she had been rushed off her feet at work and wouldn't have eaten .. 

"Hey" she whispered placing a small kiss on Holly's lips making her twitch.. Gail kissed her again " hey nerd" 

Holly hummed enjoying the feel of Gail "hey" 

"You feel asleep" Gail whispered again kissing the brunette for the third time, this time opening her mouth to take in Holly's bottom lip . 

Holly opened her eyes and smiled " well if that's how your gonna wake me, I think I'll fall asleep more often " 

Gail smiled into yet another kiss " have I ever hold you how cute you look when you're sleeping?" 

"Mmmm" Holly hummed pulling the blonde on top of her " no but you can show me "

"Oooo" Gail swooned pulling away from the horny brunette " as much as I really want to show you, I need to talk to you about something" 

"Oh!" Holly sat up suddenly feeling uncomfortable, which Gail noticed.. 

"It's ok" she reassured the doctor " its nothing to worry about " she said with a smile.. " it's actually a good thing or I hope it is" 

Holly stayed silent just waiting for Gail to continue .. 

"Ok!" The cop sighed heavily "So I've been kinda waiting for the right time to do this, but with you moving in and Soph's being here, i just kept pushing it back." 

"What is it?" Holly asked still worried .

Gail sat next to the brunette taking her hand " ok so" she smiled licking her bottom lip " you know I'm not great with words and I struggle to get my feelings out, even though I know what I want to say in my head, they just never seem to come out of my mouth the way I want" 

Holly smiled squeezing the rambling women's hand " it's ok Honey just say it" 

Gail nodded leaning over to open her bedside draw pulling out a small black box " you remember these?" She swallowed " you gave me these a while back " 

Holly's breath caught in her throat "my rings?" 

"Mmmmm" Gail nodded opening the small box " the day you gave me these back was the day I knew I had to get by shit together " tears filled Gail's eyes as she remembered that moment " for days I kept hearing your words going around in my head " 

"Gail i didn't mean " 

"It's ok" Gail interrupted " I deserved it, I treated you so badly I deserved for you to move on" 

" I would have never been able to move on Gail" Holly said firmly . 

" obvz" Gail joked " no but seriously, hearing you say that you were learning to live without me tore my world apart hol, I held these rings in my hand for hours wondering if you would ever want them back" 

Holly wiped Gail's fallen tear away " I love you" 

"And I love you " Gail nodded " that's why I want to ask you if...well if maybe you would want to put these back on? .. you know only if your ready? I mean I don't want you to feel like you have to because I'm asking" 

"Gail?" Holly laughed "honey breath, it's ok .. you know I regretted taking them off in the first place, especially because you never removed yours, I was just upset" 

"I know" Gail sniffed " and I'm sorry for that" 

"No more apologies " Holly said kissing Gail's hand " and yes, my god yes I want to wear them again "

"Really?" Gail cried out " you really want to?" 

"Yes" Holly laughed again " I feel bare without them" 

Gail wasted no time in placing the rings back on Holly's finger where they belong, beautiful" she smiled kissing Holly's knuckles . 

" wait if you felt so bare without them why didn't you ask for them back?" Gail frowned .

"Uh because I gave them back!" Holly laughed " I mean you might have said no" 

Gail laughed loudly " oh as if, didn't you noticed I had them cleaned ?" 

Holly led admiring the diamond on her finger " they're beautiful " 

"As beautiful as this?" Gail asked pulling out another small box, this time red out of her pocket " see giving you, your old rings back didn't really feel right with what I wanted to ask you " 

Holly frowned looking at the box in the blonde's hand " what ?" 

" I left work early today because I wanted to go to the jewellers to pick this up " Gail smiled opening the box in her hand causing Holly to gasped " Gail?"

The ring was of white gold and had a diamond twice the size as the one on her finger .. 

"I know I already got you a ring before, but I wanted to give you something that represented our new beginning " Gail explained " So Holly lunchbox Stewart " she laughed " will you do me the honour in becoming my life long nerd and marry me?" 

Holly was a mess, her cheeks stained with happy tears " Gail this is beautiful, I can't believe you did this, I mean you didn't have to get me this? The rings I have are beautiful and we're already engaged " she laughed 

" I know, but when I put those rings on your finger I asked you to one day be my wife" Gail smiled taking Holly's rings from her finger placing them gently on the bed " now with this ring asking you to be my wife?" She said softly pushing the new ring onto Holly's finger " no long engagement, I want you to marry me, and I don't care if it's in our backyard, with Oliver playing the vicar and rookie giving you away " 

Holly laughed through her tears, it was the first time Gail had mentioned the new family member .  
" I just want you to be my wife"

Holly couldn't take her eyes off the new ring, it was even more beautiful then the ones that were there before " I'll marry you anywhere you want, when ever you want, how you want" 

You will?" Gail cried " like seriously?" 

"Yes you idiot " Holly cried too " of course" 

Gail lunged at the brunette taking her in her arms holding her as close as she could " you have no idea how happy that makes me? "

Holly kissed the blonde deeply, taking her bottom lip in to her own " you make me happy and this is the best moment of my life" 

"You're so easily pleased" Gail laughed kissing the brunette again . 

"Wait!" Holly said " how am I suppose to wear all these rings on one finger?" She laughed . 

Gail picked up both rings off the bed, one was an engagement ring the other a promise ring " well " she smiled " I thought maybe you couldn't wear the new ring and this promise ring?" 

"And my old engagement ring? I don't want to put it in the box to gather dust" 

Gail nodded " well I thought maybe I could wear it on this?" She smiled pulling out the chain she wore around her neck, which already bared a pendant Holly had brought her for their first anniversary. 

" I would love that" Holly smiled " so you wanna set a date?" 

"Tomorrow" Gail answered with a giggle 

"that's kinda short notice" Holly laughed.. 

" I know I'm kidding" Gail agreed " how about Christmas?"

"Christmas?" Holly frowned " that's like two months away?" 

" I don't wanna wait Hol, I want you to be my wife and I would wanna do it sooner if we could, but you and soph are opening up our home to a stray dogs and our moms would freak out if they didn't get to butt there noses in " 

Holly laughed " I have a feeling you're looking forward to Rookie coming home" ?

"Don't push it nerd" the cop laughed placing a kiss to her lips .. 

"Ok" 

"Ok"? Gail asked 

"Ok I'll marry you at Christmas " Holly smiled 

Gail's smile grew to the size of her face " I can't wait" 

"Me either" ..


	20. Chapter 20

Rookies here, rookies here" Sophie screamed in excitement at the window as Holly pulled up "momma? Rookies here "

"I heard you the first time kid" Gail groaned drying her hands on a towel .

Holly made her way into the house to be met if a very excited child who ran into her, grabbing hold of the dogs leash " hi rookie, welcome home" 

 

Gail rolled her eyes shaking her head " remind me why I agreed to this?" 

Holly smiled as she kissed the blonde quickly " because you were out numbered" 

"Mmmm" Gail moaned as rookie sat at her feet " remember what I told you mutt"

Rookie wagged his tail giving the blonde his paw ... 

" you think he senses he has to win you over?" Holly laughed 

"As long as he sticks to the rules we'll get along just fine "

"Rules?" Holly asked as she stroked rookies head 

" he knows" was Gail's answer 

" can we take him for a walk?" Sophie asked jumping up and down " please?" 

"Later" Gail replied " dinners almost done, why don't you take him out back?"

"Ok" 

... 

Holly watched on as Sophie and Rookie ran around the back yard.. " she's in heaven" 

Gail hated to admit it but Rookie brought pure joy to her daughters little life .. he was probably a perfect addition to their family . 

" as long as he doesn't mess in the house" 

Holly rolled her eyes " cmon Honey, admit you like him" 

" meh" 

"You so do" Holly laughed pulling Gail into her arms giving her a kiss " he's cute" 

"So am I" Gail sulked 

"Oh you defiantly are" the brunette smiled leaning into a kiss only to be stopped by the blonde " he better not over the place" 

Holly shook her head " no" 

"No sleeping upstairs either" 

"No" Holly repeated herself 

"Or the couch"

"Nope" 

" I'm the boss" Gail continued 

"Coarse" Holly smiled nibbling the the blondes neck 

" better be ... and stop doing that" Gail pulled away from the doctors lips " I'm getting a little pissed at the way you talk me into shit" 

Holly pouted gripping on to Gail's shirt 

" yeah like that" the blonde pointed to her fiancé lips " that shit has to stop" 

Holly pulled Gail back into her " you love it" 

... 

 

" but he's crying" Sophie sulked at her parents bedroom door 

"I don't care soph" Gail argued " he has to learn" 

"One night momma please?" 

Gail looked over at Holly for support but was met with the same pouting face as her daughter " seriously?" 

" he's just a puppy" 

Gail sighed getting out of bed " look you two need to quit it... he's not coming up stairs. It's bad enough you guilt tripped me into bring him home. Now you want me to let him have the run of the house? No" 

"But he's crying" Sophie sulked 

"I don't care, he can cry, he'll soon realise that it doesn't work and once he does he will shut up.... plus regardless of his leg he's a cop, he needs to toughen up" 

Holly knew Gail wasn't going to budge and as much as she felt sorry for Rookie she knew the blonde was right, Rookie needed to know his place .. "ok Honey moms right, we can't have Rookie upstairs, I know it's sad he's pining but he will stop" 

Sophie admitted defeat " ok" 

"Bed" 

The girl nodded over to her mom before placing a kiss to her cheek and then a hug for Gail " night" 

 

Rookie cried and cried, he was relentless and stubborn 

"He's gonna wake the neighbours" Holly muttered half a sleep 

" tough" Gail shrugged rolling over " one or two night and he'll get use to it..." 

Holly moved closer to spoon the blonde " you're right" 

Suddenly the house went silent, no more cries, barks or scratches, Rookie had finally gave in .. "see" Gail smiled 

" Mmmmm, thank god" Holly laughed kissing Gail's neck before falling into a deep sleep .. 

.... 

Gail stood at the door of The utility room where Rookie now slept, her arms folded and her foot tapping on the floor.. " hey" she shouted causing Rookie to jump to attention... 

" wanna explain yourself?" 

Sophie sat up rubbing her eyes " morning" 

"Don't morning me lady,.. what are you doing down here?" 

" he was sad" Sophie sulked 

"What so you decide to sleep in his bed with him?" 

Sophie shrugged " you said he's not allowed in my bed but you didn't say I wasn't allowed in his"

Holly laughed as she sat at the kitchen table, she agreed to let Gail handle their daughter , Gail looked over unimpressed before turning back to Sophie and Rookie who looked like he was listening too.. 

" ok so We're clear" Gail began " he's not allowed upstairs, and you are not allowed to sleep downstairs with him ok?.. I don't care if he barks and cries all night, if you want to keep him, he has to learn that there are rules and he has to follow them... do you understand?" 

Sophie nodded sadly and Rookie barked " good, now upstairs and shower for school" 

Rookie looked on as Sophie left the room, he knew he was in trouble too so offered Gail his paw which she took begrudgingly " damn kids" 

Holly laughed under her breath not wanting to annoy the blonde anymore... she loves being back home, even with all the chaos she wouldn't want to be any where else .. 

" so shell we tell soph we're getting married?" 

"I guess we should, just as long as she doesn't blab to my mom, I don't want her takin over, we said small and romantic and that's what it will be" 

"I agree," Holly smiled " when?" 

"Done" Sophie smiled entering the kitchen .. 

"Soph me and mom are getting married at Christmas, just don't tell grandma Elaine yet ok" Gail said with a smile 

"Gail?" Holly moaned rolling her eyes, hoping they would maybe tell her at dinner, or at least sit the girl down. 

"Really?" Sophie grinned clapping her hands " oh my days this is awesome" 

Gail smiled at her daughter then looked to Holly " what? You said we should tell her, I told Her" 

" I hoped we would do it properly " 

"The outcome would still be the same" Gail laughed at Sophie dancing with rookie " she's happy" 

Shaking her head Holly grabbed her back " I'm going to work, cmon soph" 

.... 

 

"Hey mommy, I'm really glad you home you know" Sophie said placing her hand on Holly's as she drove them to the school " and I'm really happy we have Rookie and that you and momma are getting married" 

Holly felt her heartfelt " me too baby, but listen honey, let's try not to annoy mom where Rookies concerned ok? You know she wasn't to keen in the first place" 

"Yeah I know" Sophie sighed " no more sleeping downstairs " 

"Good girl, and remember don't tell grandma about us getting married.. in fact don't tell any of you're grandmas ok?" 

"Got it" Sophie laughed giving her mother the thumbs up " I'll see you later" she added jumping out of the car .. 

 

Life is good, Holly smile to herself as she headed to work .. Gail was on a later shift so it was just her and Rookie at home, as she drank her coffee she felt eyes on her, yup Rookie was being the gate watching her .. 

"What are you looking at Mutt?" She asked sipping her drink .. Rookies tongue hung out his mouth and his head tilted to the side .. 

" so you're meant to be a cop huh?... didn't make the grade? No good enough for the force?.. Well don't worry about it, it's not all it's cracked up to be..long hours,standing out in the rain, having some fat bald guy bossing you around, chasing shitty people and for what? A tennis ball, a treat?... you're better off here kid, Waited on hand and foot, spoilt with love from soph, you know Hollys falling for you too... you're gonna have a pretty cool life aren't ya?" 

Rookie looked like he was taking it all in, his ears were pointed up and his eyes fully on Gail .. 

" yeah you hear me huh?" She smiled going over to stroke the German Shepard " you can have all that, I'll probably even end up likening you, but.. you gotta quit that whining or I'll change you're name to Dov" 

 

Rookie barked 

"Yeah you're right it's a little bitch name," Gail found herself hilarious sometimes " so I'm gonna go to work and you're gonna stay here ok? And you can't sulk all day, you can laze around, chew some toys, eat, I'll leave the radio on for you ok?" 

Rookie licked her hand and led down closing his eyes " good boy" 

 

... 

Arriving a work with a spring her in her step Gail felt like her life was finally back to normal, she was back to normal, Holly was home, her kid was smiling again, and the dog wasn't such a bad addition to her family ... 

"Hey Peck" Oliver smiled as she entered the station " how's the dog"?

Gail shrugged " he planned on Bitching all night about the fact he has to sleep alone, we found Soph asleep with him this morning which Holly found amusing" 

Oliver laughed " already wooing the ladies in your house huh?" 

"Something like that" Gail sulked " anyways I wanted to ask you something"

Oliver took a seat with an uncertain look "everything ok?" 

Gail smiled fiddling with her hands " everything's fine, it's great even " she smiled " I just wanted to ask if um, well if you'll be my best man?" 

Olivers smile grew the side of his face " me? Really?" 

Gail nodded " I've asked Hols to marry me again, but not like we planned, just something small and as soon as possible" 

Standing up for his seat wrapping the small blonde in his arms" I would be honoured to stand up with you on you're big day" 

Gail pushed him away " yeah yeah no need to get mushy, I'm only asking you because no one else can be trust not to lose the rings" 

Oliver knew she was joking of coarse.. " well I'm still honoured.. so when we thinking?" 

Gail smiled " weekend after next if I can arrange it" 

She hadn't told Holly she was planning to get married so soon, she had all ready made some arrangements , she had someone to marry them, the caters on board and a small hotel with a beautiful romantic looking garden.. all she had to do was invite people, let hers and Hollys parents no it wasn't going to be gone big affair they wanted and as long as no one told Holly she was good to go.. " Holly doesn't know anything about and I wanna keep it that way" 

She has decided to send invites out two days before and keep Holly as far away from people as she possibly could.. 

" well I'm your wing man" Oliver winked " anything you need.. just ask " 

"Knew I could count on you old man"


End file.
